Hi, been looking introducing more toys and like the idea of collars and ball gags. As part of the conversation I would like to understand how I can introduce them to the wife and how we can use them.
Could you share any scenarios or ideas?
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It really depends on what type of dynamic you already have and if you guys already play with a D/s dynamic etc.
A bit more info or details may help with suggestions that may be suitable otherwise Iâm going to go with a straightforward but effective âget on your knees and put these onâ 
I am the âmasterâ, and she is the naughty girl - the D/s dynamic I guess.
We have a few chats about this, and played with the dynamic over the years. I think we would like to take it further.
Communication, communication, communication. 100%. Before you go shopping, speak to your wife and check this is something she wants to try, otherwise she might be left wondering what kind of monster she married.
Secondly, have a look at materials. Thereâs rubber. Breathable. silicone. Rubber or silicone is your sort of âstandardâ ball gag, though as someone who adores humiliation play, thereâs nothing I enjoy more than the sight of a nice drooly submissive in a breathable ball gag 
good luck to you both!
The drooling sub is what I am going for!
She will be involved in the shopping. I was thinking the conversation to be âYour master wants you to have a ball gag/collar, so thatâŚâ.
I think I am looking for the suggestions to tie in with roles instead of âdrool looks sexyâ!
Donât do that. Never introduce new things in character. People are often willing to try things when they are horny that they might not in the cold light of day. Itâs an altered headspace. Have a normal conversation with her and if she agrees to it, then you can incorporate your dynamic into the purchase.
Also, you used the words âball gag/collarâ. Gags and collars arenât the same thing, which are you after?
I mean, if youâre in charge, whatâs wrong with that? âI want you gagged because I think itâs hot when you droolâ fits into most power transfer dynamics. Otherwise, you can tie it in to her being verbally cheeky or using words sheâs not allowed to, or to quieten her down if sheâs making too much noise during play or if you give her strict instructions you could gag her so she canât speak and can only listen, or gagging her because you own her mouth so you are putting a gag in it until you are ready to use it, or even just get a matching set of cuffs, collar, gag etc or a gag that matches some lingerie you like her wearing so itâs simply to âcomplete the lookâ type idea.
Just make sure you have a way for her to communicate should she need to safe word. Give her something to hold, have her hands or feet free so she can tap or stomp.
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Thanks @Calie. I was considering introducing both a collar and a ball gag. The ball gag has been discussed before, so will get one when we shop for one, or I will just buy one if she agrees to it. I like the idea of using for punishment or just for the fact I would like to see her drool.
The collar is something I like the idea of after seeing on LH, but I am not sure what to introduce it for.
We dont use them much but do have a gag, collar wrist restraints.
My mouth canât open enough to get even the smallest ball in, so we have a dog bone gag, plenty drooling
@anon48772521
I use the collar and lead on my husband quite a bit especially during a spanking session and itâs fun to use on your partner and loads of fun
Iâm not into gag balls but use a mouth O ring - this goes on my face and allows my husband to push his cock into my mouth - but it makes you dribble a lot
Personally I would start with the collar first to be used on you 
We are quite into a bit of BDSM. Gags, collars and blindfolds are probably our favorite toys.
When we first introduced gags, they were something weâd mentioned in passing previously and we looked online for them together one evening.
The best thing we did (on someone elseâs advice) was order a few so we could try them out. No point getting a huge big thing, getting freaked out or being unable to breathe and then deciding thatâs a no to gags when you just havenât found the right one. Equally thereâs no point buying a teeny tiny thing full or air holes that feels cheap and light and plasticky if what you like (but donât know it yet) is the feeling of being well and truly restrained.
LH do a gag system with three different sized balls which is really good for beginners https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/bondage/blindfolds-masks-gags/gags/p/bondage-boutique-silicone-ball-gag-training-system-/a48010g85722.html
Itâs well worth it as you can have a play and see which size(s) you both take to.
Personally I find the breathable ones less thrilling, so I like being gagged with a solid ball. To that end I found this one really good and comfortable https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/bondage/blindfolds-masks-gags/gags/p/bondage-boutique-faux-leather-medium-silicone-ball-gag/a34000g60998.html
and then this one was nice when I was ready for something a bit bigger https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/bondage/blindfolds-masks-gags/gags/p/bondage-boutique-large-silicone-ball-gag/a25623g39330.html
If you get really into it then LH kind of top out there, being a general sex toy retailer rather than a specialist bondage site. There are some amazing gags out there and weâve branched out into some much more specialist ones since, but those few from LH will keep you very happy for a good while.
I definitely second @Calie 's advice, about not starting in character. Nothing spooks me more than when a prospective Dominant treats me as a submissive right off the bat, rather than as a human and equal partner. Personally, I find it a red flag for potential entitled and disrespectful behaviour later on. Youâre both in this, together, so you both need to enter into it as equals.
That said, discussing why this interests you is important too. Everybody has a kink, but sometimes our partners may be more interested if they understand why we like it in the first place. Good luck to you both!
PS. Sorry my advice isnât up to my usual standards. I got dumped out of the blue by my poly partner on Saturday so itâs taking its toll at the moment 
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Thank you for taking the time to answer everyone. Some good advice and I have taken note.
Hope you are ok @Tenshadesandme x
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We have a dildo gag. The dildo itself is only about 3" long so it doesnât activate my gag reflex but I love the feel of it in my mouth especially when Iâm cuffed or hogtied
We use the traffic light system as safe words so the second we feel uncomfortable we use them.
Try asking her if she wants to be a good girl for a change. Then tell her to get on her knees for you. When she does, praise her. Everything she does that you tell her to, praise it. Tease her. Get her in the mood good and truely, and then tell her to put the gag on. Tell her you dont want any of her usual back talk and if shes a good girl, then she gets rewarded. Then make it all about her only for the 1st time you do it until she is comfortable using it again. Make sure it is all about her pleasure and she will soon be begging for you to gag her
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Iâm getting there thankyou @anon48772521 . I still get waves of anger but they are getting farther apart now 
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