Hi. Im new to all this and need some help.
Im looking for a dildo for my wife. We're both virgins, we wanted to wait until we were married before we did anything.
The problem is that I've had an injury since we got married, i was in a car accident and broke my leg and have some nerve damage in my back and legs. And as a result, we haven't "done it". And the doctors have said it will be at least 6months to 1 year until im fully recovered.
I want to keep her happy, so we've been looking at some dildos. But we're just not sure what to get. something that isn't too big, as we're new to this, something for beginners, and preferably something that vibrates
Can anyone help out with recommendations please. Thanks in advance.
Hi. Im new to all this and need some help.
Hi there shabz!
Congratulations on your new marriage! Sorry to hear about your injury. Hope you're recovering okay.
First off, are you sure you want to go straight in with a dildo? When I was first penetrated, it was excruciatingly painful. This isn't the case for all women but I found because I was with a partner (I'd never even used tampons so it was completely new for me) I could verbalise my needs more. You might want to start out with a clitoral vibrator (a bullet like this for example: https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=34002) to learn about how her body responds to this kind of sensation.
Or you can just ignore this completely and go for it. The most gentle one I've used for penetrative sex is this guy https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=35206 . It's really soft and comfy. It does take quite a lot of maintenance though so make sure you don't forget to buy all the stuff for upkeep.
When you say vibrate, are you looking for g-spot, clitoral stimulation, or both?
Thank you, im recovering slowly but surely.
Sorry, i should have said before, i bought a clitoral vibrator, and we have alot of fun with it.
But we want to take it to the next step and try something different, but dont know much about sex toys. We're just as clueless as each other.
The dildo you linked looks like it could be what we're after. It doesnt look too big, and as its soft, im hoping it wont hurt her too much.
Just to keep our options open, do you have any other suggestions in terms of dildos. Ive seen something called a "rabbit", but it seems quite daunting to be honest. I wasnt sure whether it would be suitable for someone who is a virgin/first time.
Thank you for your help in this matter.
Yeah. Rabbits are pretty much the standard first timer go to for women who enjoy clitoral stimulation. I have this one and it's the best I've had so far. https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=29419
Because the internal and 'ear' vibrations are controlled with separate buttons, it isn't obverwhelming from first use. Also, the material is really smooth and easy to clean (and it doesn't go very deep which might be best for a first timer).
Again, I really do suggest you be careful with penetrative toys as a virgin. It's very easy to do too much to soon. You might also want to think about going with a dialator set so she can build up to full penetrative sex. https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=35782
Sorry, I know both of those are quite expensive items but they're the best ones I've found.x
A rabbit is a dual stimulation vibrator. The longer arm is inserted and the shorter arm is used for clitoral stimulation. They are very popular and often attract beginners as they are one of the most well known types of vibrator.
The problem with these toys is that they're completely anatomy dependent. Not all rabbits fit everybody as we are all slightly different. I often find rabbits don't reach my clitoris or the internal arm is uncomfortable and doesn't hit the right spots there. Both arms have to fit and work for her body in order for it to be a pleasurable experience.
I've tried around 40 different ones and only 10-15 have worked for me. So you could buy her one but you may end up having to return it and exchange for another until you find one that works. I usually suggest experimenting with other toys and understanding your body and anatomy first as it then becomes a little easier to narrow down your rabbit options.
Here are some slim beginner friendly toys that I'd recommend:
You can use a clitoral vibrator on her at the same time for additional stimulation if she'd like that and I'd suggest getting her to a clitoral orgasm before insertion so she's more relaxed.
Dont forget to buy some good quality water based lubricant - Lovehoney's Enjoy is pretty good!
Hi shabz, can you lay on your back with your wife straddling you if she doesn’t place her weight on you? What about spooning aide by side etc. . I’d be surprised if there isn’t some way you could make intercourse work until your back on your feet.
If that’s a definite no go, I’d reccomend the LH slimline g-spot vibrator, it’s a favorite for the Mrs despite all the toys we own, it’s cheap and super non-intimidating and gets her rocks off something fierce!
If your going to go for something a little bigger then make sure she is fully aroused before penetration, arousal will relax the vaginal muscles and the penetration will hurt less. Good luck and have fun!
Hi, we have tried different positions, but i get quite bad pains and spasms in my back and legs after a few minutes, even if im lying or standing for too long. Its really frustrating for both of us.
I just dont want her to not enjoy herself because of my injuries, so i want something that will please her until im back to 100%.
Thank you all for your advice. I really appreciate it. If you guys come across something else you think may help, please let me know.