Dear all,
It has been a long time. Since the last time I have been here, my ex and me split up, and I moved on quite a bit, also healed a lot emotionally and enjoyed my life.
A few months ago I got a new colleague. At first I was instinctively reserved towards him, as he is very good looking and maybe flirtateous. I'd describe myself as more average looking, and I'd be more comfortable with average-looking men too, LOL! One night out with a group of colleagues (when I was too tired to dress up and just too unprepared for anything like that), I started to develop a crush. I kind of went in and out of it, but in the last week I needed to work with him a lot and the crush got really strong. We have not talked about it. What I notice is looks, those that are a bit too long and then suddenly averted, and smiles. He has made mistakes at work in such situations too  Sometimes we have been quite uncomfortable with each other, kind of tense, but then, once we start talking it just flows. I started feeling very comfortable just standing close to him, and if I am not mistaken he slightly turned towards me too (not getting too fussy about details here ). I was looking forward to a lot of work (and time) together in the coming days.
However, suddenly I had to leave work for two weeks, because something personal happened. I was heartbroken because of that, but also because I had to leave that guy and cannot work with him, as planned . He was kind of nice and understanding when I told him.
Fast forward a few hours. Some colleagues went to a pub, but I was too unwell to join. The next day, when I was on the way to my family, I received a message from a friend-colleague, who has no idea about my feelings, and told me excitedly that she flirted with HIM and how funny it was etc etc. I got so angry, disappointed and really felt the urge to push him away and ask him not to flirst with me.
Maybe I am too hurt in general, or too possessive in my thinking, or I really need to be more careful about this guy. What are your opinions and experiences?
x
First of all, never dip your pen in company ink!
Secondly, tread carefully. If it's just a crush leave it at that. Dont upset things for yourself at work.. with everything going on you need something steady and stable in your life, why not let that be work?
Hope this helps. Maybe time away will help while you are off? X
sugarboobies2232 wrote:
First of all, never dip your pen in company ink!
Secondly, tread carefully. If it's just a crush leave it at that. Dont upset things for yourself at work.. with everything going on you need something steady and stable in your life, why not let that be work?
Hope this helps. Maybe time away will help while you are off? X
+1! It's very easy to think that the person you're crushing on likes you too, and it can be very difficult to tell for sure if there's anything more going on. He might not have been flirting with you either. There's been nothing said and so you don't really have a say over other people flirting with him or how he chooses to react. I'd give it a rest and let time take its course :)
Absence makes the heart grow fonder: if he's interested in you he will make sure you know it when you go back to work. It may well be that he is flirty by nature.Don't overthink things, concentrate on whatever it is that's kept you off work, and remember he's a man, not a piece of meat for cats to be scrapping over 🙈 Hope you're feeling better soon, and that's things work out one way or another 😁
sugarboobies2232 wrote:
First of all, never dip your pen in company ink!
Secondly, tread carefully. If it's just a crush leave it at that. Dont upset things for yourself at work.. with everything going on you need something steady and stable in your life, why not let that be work?
Hope this helps. Maybe time away will help while you are off? X
Great advice . I always stayed well clear of work colleagues when it came to relationships and I had quite a few offers
Workplace flirtations can be lovely ( that's how I met my now husband !) but it can be awkward if it all goes wrong and you have to continue working with each other....probably the reason why most places frown on that sort of thing .
It could be that he's just a very friendly flirty type of guy and although you felt the crush maybe he didn't . Either way maybe just let things lie for a while and try not think about it too much .
If something is meant to be it'll happen :)
Totally agree with Sugarboobies (oh you're now in my auto correct 😂) with the beautifully put pen in the company ink. It can be very messy and may cost you your job if things go sour.
It could be that this guy is naturally a flirt with everyone