I will Apologies now if this has been raised before, but I was wondering something.
If you are in a relationship and your OH does not give you Oral, but you do give them Oral, should you continue to give them oral especially as they dont seem to enjoy your efforts and you know you will never have the act performed on you.
I would like hear from both guys and girls.
Cheers for reading
Personally I say talk to her about it. She might not like you going down on her and it's not the way to encourage her to go down on you... sorry it just doesn't work like that.
A bit of give and take is always good in a relationship but it doesn't always refer to oral sex.
that's 2 sep questions:
1/ don't ever do anything expecting reciprocation.
2/ if they dont like it - find out why, if its technique, change your style, if they just dont like it then leave well alone and dont push the issue.......
Yeh...talk....... for a while my wife was off it both ways, she felt she didnt smell very nice (funny how peoples perceptions are different).
may be she just doesnt like giving or receiving.
Oooooooh such a hard one! :S I was once with a guy who hated getting blowjobs, and was with a guy who never gave me oral. problem is, both of these acts are like, bigger than sex to me! If I was in a long term relationship where either of these acts were off the table, I would be a very sad panda indeed. However although relationships are give and take, please try not to fall into the habit of "well, if I do this for you, you should do this for me" nope, it just builds resentment. Trust me! Even if you dont admit out loud that that is what you are doing, your partners will sense it. I keep saying this as well but can anyone really enjoy anything where they know the other person is just doing it to return a favour and they dont really like it?
However if you want to stay together its going to be a case of communicating. Asking him/her why or if they like it, try to compromise. If it is just a case of "No never i hate it" then thats the answer. You can't force someone to enjoy or partake in an act they dont like. Then you need to decide if you can go without or not.
sex isnt all that important is it? find out what she does like...I cant imagine leaving my wife or my previous OH over a question of oral sex.
I meant, for me, oral is more important that actual penetration.
To answer your question "Sex isnt that important is it?" I refer you back to the numerous threads of people considering cheating/leaving their partners over the issue of lack of sex. And that is just on this forum. So I would say yeh, for some people it is more important, even to the point of destroying a relationship. Others can go without it and stay together happily, others can stay together and not cheat or leave but feel miserable about it.
I personally would not leave my OH if something sexual stopped. Wether it was caused by loss of interest or disability or whatever. However I have been with him over 3 years. If this was a brand new relationship in the early stages, and he told me "sorry no oral sex ever" or similar, then it would make me think long and hard about things. I am not saying it would be a complete deal breaker, but it wouldnt be easy to go forward...
My opinion ofc. x
Fluffbags wrote:
I meant, for me, oral is more important that actual penetration.
To answer your question "Sex isnt that important is it?" I refer you back to the numerous threads of people considering cheating/leaving their partners over the issue of lack of sex. And that is just on this forum. So I would say yeh, for some people it is more important, even to the point of destroying a relationship. Others can go without it and stay together happily, others can stay together and not cheat or leave but feel miserable about it.
I personally would not leave my OH if something sexual stopped. Wether it was caused by loss of interest or disability or whatever. However I have been with him over 3 years. If this was a brand new relationship in the early stages, and he told me "sorry no oral sex ever" or similar, then it would make me think long and hard about things. I am not saying it would be a complete deal breaker, but it wouldnt be easy to go forward...
My opinion ofc. x
my wife once said she didnt ever want oral sex but she also said she would never get married or have children...now married since 1986 with a child.......you wimmin is so komplitziert...she has a new found love for face sitting...no complaints from me I must say.
Firstly, I would like to thank everybody for giving their opions. It is intresting very intresting.
I totally understand that communication is everything, unfortunately for me, it takes 2 to have a conversation. If I bring up the issue of sex and what she might like etc then she doesnt want to hold the conversation..
I would never force her to give me oral, and as she doesnt object to me giving her oral, its only that she doesnt really give me any feedback. I may be crap at it, or an expert but if she dont tell me how can I tell or improve.
As for leaving her I love her too much, as for looking outside of the marriage, Ive thought about but have too much to lose, we have been together for 15 years and have 2 kids so No I will not go outside just for a Blow job.
I think has been said by Adventurous sex kitten I just stop going down on her when we are having sex and anyway as we are in sexless marriage anyway (ie intercourse less than 10 times a year).thi has been going on for the last 6/7 years. I will stick with the odd wank in secret to tide me over.
Cheers again for all your comments
Would I be right in thinking giving oral is one of the most intimate things you can do for your partner
As the giver can only take pleasure knowing that
What thy are doing is so enjoyable for there OH
So is it wrong then to expect the favour to be returned
As I have said in previous posts I would gladly
Go down on the wife she never protests or slaps me away
I am lucky to get a couple BJs a year
And when I do we've not had sex for a couple of weeks
So Iam bursting and usually gone in 60 seconds
Cap54 wrote:
Would I be right in thinking giving oral is one of the most intimate things you can do for your partner
As the giver can only take pleasure knowing that
What thy are doing is so enjoyable for there OH
So is it wrong then to expect the favour to be returnedAs I have said in previous posts I would gladly
Go down on the wife she never protests or slaps me away
I am lucky to get a couple BJs a year
And when I do we've not had sex for a couple of weeks
So Iam bursting and usually gone in 60 seconds
I also enjoying going down on my OH, which i enjoy but a lot of that is with the aim of giving her pleasure. Like you she doesnt slap me away or refuse its more of just lying there and not doing very much. Now this may be my faultbut if she doesnt tell me show me where to lick /rub etc thers not a lot I can do.
Also like you iI would not last long if my wife ever gave me a BJ as it isuch a rare occurance 3/4 half hearted attempts in 14 yrs.
I also agree nobody should be forced to do anything ther not happy with, but its just so frutrsting as it seems that my sex life is over.