Cuck fantasies. Should I share them?

Sex Tips & Talk
1

Hello, people. It's hard for me to put this into words (soon you'll see that's the main problem, actually), but I'll give it a try.

We're both in our early 30's and going steady in our relationship. Everything is ok. And we always want to make everything better than ok. So... Regarding sex, lately we've been spicing things up a little: costumes, roleplay, public places, etc.

But I have this fantasy I just can't seem to share with her. Sorry if I'm being way too explicit, but here's the situation: a couple weeks ago, while sucking me off, she told me she loves my cock. I have a modest 4.7", so I told her if she was curious about sucking something bigger. She replied "it is perfect the way it is" and kept going. Later on, I was taking her doggy-style and began to told her how much I'd love to see her with other guys. She didn't say a word.

Last weekend, we were watching some amateur vids, and she got kind of upset when I played one of a girl blowing two men. Everything suggests that she's not into threesomes, not to mention cuckolding.

Of course, I'm well aware that some fantasies are better kept as fantasies. Making them true would change things drastically. And this sort of things, in particular, mean exceeed a point of no return. And I admit that it would destroy me to see her with another man.

But, as a fantasy, it drives me crazy. And I'd like to share it with her. On that same fantasy level. The hardest part is how to talk about this, and how to convince her of at least trying it (I mean, trying it as a fantasy, not as something real).

Is there any advice on how to approach this subject?

Thank you in advance for reading. Depending on your replies, there's a couple of other things I'd wish to add. But first let's figure this first part out.

2

My partner went through the exact same thing with me- of course that doesn't mean she'll react the same way I did...

At first, I was a little put off by it. Not because it was another man, but because of what that MEANT or could mean. (E.g.: Is he losing interest in me ? Does he not see me as his love, but instead as some sort of toy to pass around ? etc.).
Eventually, we decided to have a non-judgemental, entirely hypothetical discussion about kinks and interests after dinner: I brought up some of my fantasies I'd been ashamed to share until that point (I didn't want just a little rough play, I wanted a full-on rape-play scene which sounds so dark and awful if you just look at it on the surface). It really broke the ice being able to communicate openly and honestly about what we both wanted.

I think it's important that you try to encourage your partner to discover more about herself- why not treat her to a LoveHoney product that can pique her interest in exploring your cuck fetish ? (My partner seems to love watching me suck on his lifelike extender toy before he, ahem, DOES me with it. Sometimes, before he finishes, he'll take it off so I can tell him about the difference in size from the "other man". :')

You could also try playing with any sensations you know she's fond of, such as large vibrators or coating an inflatable toy with heating gel ?

At the end of the day though, some people just aren't in to certain things, and that's okay, right ? (I mean, if she had a fetish for something you didn't like, you wouldn't want her to force it on you or make some sort of exchange deal that would create resentment).

Take it slow. Ease her into the concept over a few months. Maybe even show her your post so she's absolutely reassured that it's strictly a fantasy and that you're very sweet but have no idea how to word things ?

Good luck. x

3

You cannot convince her in to anything she isnt interested in. Anything more would be basically pressuring her into pleasuring you for your own gratification, which of course is not fair.

All you can do is present the idea to her and if it falls flat like a lead balloon, then that is that i am afraid. As you stated, she already got upset at having to watch the woman sucking off 2 men. No amount buttering her up with toys and sexual aids will magically turn her thinking into suddenly loving the idea of cuckolding.

🐼

4

This one does sound like it will remain as a fantasy. The only thing I could suggest is to ask your wife if she would act it out in a fantasy. If she says then no then you will have to accept it. The only other idea is if you wanted to see her with something bigger is to suggest buying a strap on with a larger dildo.

5

I agree with everything said above. I think the first step would maybe to look at some suction cup dildos widely available on here. Using the suction cup you could position it, if she's willing, to suck both at the same time or one whilst taken from behind. Also ideal for solo play while you watch. The hands free element of the suction cup makes it a different experience to using other vibrators.

Be open and honest, be willing to let it drop and most importantly make sure you explain what it is that turns you on and that it's not about your feelings for her, that way if she says no she may still meet you halfway somewhere.

6

"Later on, I was taking her doggy-style and began to told her how much I'd love to see her with other guys. She didn't say a word."

Let me stop you there. I would not recommend bringing things like this up during sex. She's never expressed interest in it and the fact that you mentioned it whilst being intimate could have made her feel uncomfortable, under pressure etc. Her lack of response tells you that she wasn't into the idea, especially at that moment. Conversations about trying new things and fantasies are always best had away from the bedroom.

"Last weekend, we were watching some amateur vids, and she got kind of upset when I played one of a girl blowing two men. Everything suggests that she's not into threesomes, not to mention cuckolding."

Again, I would discuss what sort of videos you'd like to watch together beforehand. Don't just play something that depicts something she has not expressed interest in. If she got upset, I think you already have the answer to be honest. I don't think it just suggests that she's not into threesomes or cuckolding, but that she has no desire to explore those things. It sounds to me that these ideas just don't do it for her.

"But, as a fantasy, it drives me crazy. And I'd like to share it with her. On that same fantasy level. The hardest part is how to talk about this, and how to convince her of at least trying it (I mean, trying it as a fantasy, not as something real)."

Drives YOU crazy. It doesn't seem like it drives her in the same way. If she's getting upset over videos of this, she probably does not want to share it with you. I would have a conversation with her about it and see if there are some concerns that she has about this fantasy or whether it's just something she is not interested in. If it's the first option, talk through her concerns. If it's the latter, you need to respect her decision and drop it. You can't convince her to try something she doesn't want to do. That's not fair. A coerced yes is not a yes.

7

Pushing someone into acting out your fantasy can potentially destroy the other person AND your relationship completely so please don't do that. I have been there, I liked someone a lot and never intended to do anything with that but my partner kept pushing me to try it and finally convinced me to go for it. The guy was my friend and the whole thing really broke my heart. It felt unfair towards my friend and I felt like I was betraying my partner despite having permission. I called it quits, lost my friend over it and the relationship between me and my partner was never the same again as the guilt never left. Eventually my partner broke up with me as well. Guess how I feel about the whole situation now? Even more absolute shit.. So yeah, if you love her don't push it. You can already tell she might not agree and if you do tell her and she says no then you have to respect that.

8

Please please don't force her, she'll hate it, it could ruin your relationship how would you feel if she said I'm longing for so and so in my bed can you dress up like them, your not keen and do it but it's not your thing, the scene is ruined. This is worse another person is involved.

9

First off, I would like to thank you for all your replies. Although they differ in a few points, the idea of not forcing things and quit immediatly if she doesn't agree prevails as a whole. It's not my intention to convince her, but at least talk about it and, from there, see what happens. Of course I don't expect her to say yes, and I would never even try to push her into something she doesn't feel comfortable with.

Yet, and here's one of those things I wanted to add as soon as this thread went on, there are attitudes that puzzle me. I don't mean she's secretly into cuckolding, but she's suspiciously interested in kinks that hit so near the bone.

She wants me to wear panties. She told me so. And I did. I put on lacy boyshorts and thongs. She even spanks me when I'm dressed like that. And, every once in a while, specially when we are fucking, she calls me "faggot" and the like.

Sure, you can have fries without a hamburger. But... isn't it interesting how she seems (SEEMS) to be beating around the bush, regarding the cuck fantasy in and on itself?

10

Dressing up and cuckold are different things.

11

I agree with kitten. Having one fantasy doesn't mean that you're in to all of them.

Number 1 rule is communication. An open discussion done away from the bedroom where you can explain any concerns you have with her behaviours and if you want to then your fantasies. A strong relationship will be able to handle sharing as long as both parties know it's ok to say no, I don't fancy that one without any sulking or recriminations

12

scared to try? wrote:

First off, I would like to thank you for all your replies. Although they differ in a few points, the idea of not forcing things and quit immediatly if she doesn't agree prevails as a whole. It's not my intention to convince her, but at least talk about it and, from there, see what happens. Of course I don't expect her to say yes, and I would never even try to push her into something she doesn't feel comfortable with.

Yet, and here's one of those things I wanted to add as soon as this thread went on, there are attitudes that puzzle me. I don't mean she's secretly into cuckolding, but she's suspiciously interested in kinks that hit so near the bone.

She wants me to wear panties. She told me so. And I did. I put on lacy boyshorts and thongs. She even spanks me when I'm dressed like that. And, every once in a while, specially when we are fucking, she calls me "faggot" and the like.

Sure, you can have fries without a hamburger. But... isn't it interesting how she seems (SEEMS) to be beating around the bush, regarding the cuck fantasy in and on itself?

Dressing up in ladies panties is completely different to cuckolding, and actually I find it quite worrying you don't seem to see that.

As others have said speak to her outside of the bedroom without any pressure and respect what she has to say.

13

I think you are thinking along the lines of sissyfication, which can be a form of humiliation the same as cuckolding is or can be. It is not the same though. Some men like sissyfication as a form of d/s play and humiliation. Some men like to wear lingerie as a means to feel more sexy and they like the feel of the silky fabric against their skin. Some women like to see there men in lingerie because it looks hot or they like to dominate. None of this means the man or woman is into cuckolding at all.
I am not saying that there can't be a crossover in kinks because there can be but I very much doubt it from what you have said.

14

Here is a simple house rule that has worked well with my wife and I.

If the other person wants anything (not just sexual) then they can have it unless it will upset the other person in which case it is then nolonger on the table for discussion as it were.

This has kept us very happy and there is less disappointment as I do not want to upset her so not doing something is a better option then that. I hope this makes sense.

15

I agree with the others here. Placing pressure on your partner in a no no . All you will get is resentment and possibly problems with your relationship in the future. Trying new things is great as long as you are both in agreement and happy . Thats why we tend to fill in sex surveys on each other every 6 months. At this point I am still waiting to try anal but its not to my OHs liking hence its always a "No" on her survey . But I don't and will not pressurise her into changing her mind .I just accept it will not happen.

An avenue you could look at is perhaps your roleplaying side of things and perhaps with the addition of some toys that could be a possible way forward.

16

Hi everyone once again.

I'm sorry for replying so late, but I caught a flu and had to stay in bed.

I've read all your responses. Most of them were insightful. The rest made my mind clearer about what's humiliation and what's not in and on itself. I learnt a couple of things thanks to you.

Best think I can take out from all this conversation is giving the cuck fantasy a rest, and don't even mention it unless my GF brings such subject up. In the meantime, sure there are other things to try the two of us alone!

It's been of enormous help to read you all. And I thank you once again.

There's no much more I could add. You made your point way better than I.

17

scared to try? wrote:

Hi everyone once again.

I'm sorry for replying so late, but I caught a flu and had to stay in bed.

I've read all your responses. Most of them were insightful. The rest made my mind clearer about what's humiliation and what's not in and on itself. I learnt a couple of things thanks to you.

Best think I can take out from all this conversation is giving the cuck fantasy a rest, and don't even mention it unless my GF brings such subject up. In the meantime, sure there are other things to try the two of us alone!

It's been of enormous help to read you all. And I thank you once again.

There's no much more I could add. You made your point way better than I.

Wel done discover what fantasies she like then maybe role play, all the best.

18

I reckon I can kind of relate, I find the fantasy of a MMF threesome actually really hot. I do KNOW that the reality wouldn't be, and we have talked about all that. My OH doesn't find it nearly as engaging, but interestingly when I whimsically joked about getting myself cloned so we could have a threesome she was really turned on by the idea. Now every once in a while I might tell her what the two or three of me would collectively do to her. We both find it very funny but very sexy too.