The refractory period is the bane of a lot of peoples sex lives, mine included!
As soon as I cum it’s all over the switch is turned off. It’s extremely frustrating as we want to continue and I want to do cum play amongst other things but just can’t bring myself to do it.
Hubby and I have had round two before, but kegels and tantra weren’t the fix for us. The cure is (or at least it was for us) you have to both want it; you have to remind yourself that she is full of cum for you, and have her remind you. Have her tell you how hot she feels being full of you, make out with her and have her invite you back in. She has to want it too; she has to want you, specifically. If she’s a “one and done” kind of lady, chances are you could be feeding off of one another’s energy. Good luck! 
I dont know if a ruined orgasm may be the key here, if its the orgasm that releases the hormone rather than the ejaculation. I know when I had one I was surprised that I could still stay hard and then ejaculate later on in the session with an orgasm.
I am a bit younger than you (mid 30s) usually i find a break of 10-20 minutes of just cuddling or whatever is good. Stay in the mood somewhat, etc give back rubs, change position, etc
I remember when we were still going out
We were in my room at my lodgings
We were having sex for probably like about the first week she was on the pill so no condom so I was super horny
I think we had full sex and I came inside her about 5 times in the same evening
After the first time it was like climb off her, lie there relax and caress then start snogging and teasing again and then start to penetrate her and then cum pretty quickly
I can’t remember anything like that since
We never were into post sex cum play etc as it wasn’t even anything I knew about back then
But I would love to eat her pussy after sex these days but my recovery time is too long and I’m not turned in enough
I’m different with my cam sessions with guys tho when I’m in my lingerie
I can cum and then go off do something mundane for maybe 20 minutes then get a message from another guy or group of guys that are interested in wankin with me and I’m erect and ready in seconds and can cum again in minutes
I can still repeat this maybe 4 or 5 times in a day if I’m home alone but by cum no 3 I’m cuming dry but it’s still feeling good
I think that the overall article was suggesting that, when you orgasm multiple times before ejaculating, you can still ejaculate after the last orgasm. That way, you can still get the ejaculation that you want at the end. In edging, this has a similar pattern, except that you do not orgasm multiple times; you only get close (not too close) to orgasm multiple times and then finally ejaculate at the end. I have come very close to ejaculating during edging, but I was able to back off. Unfortunately, if you get that close, you sometimes wind up ejaculating when you do not want to.
@TruthSeeker12345 I’m getting more into edging or rather remaining really aroused for a longer period without ejaculating
I tend to do this in my cam fun with guys
I’ll chat n cam n get close to a cum
Then either the other guy cums and is satisfied or has to go
Then I cam again and say I prefer not to cum yet but get close
Then cum in maybe another call
I used to be in a rush and would cum at the earliest opportunity
This is a different kind of fun
Thanks a lot for the replies guys! People have made some good points and some really good suggestions - it’s definitely given me some ideas to work on and a way forward