The refractory period is the bane of a lot of peoples sex lives, mine included!
As soon as I cum it’s all over the switch is turned off. It’s extremely frustrating as we want to continue and I want to do cum play amongst other things but just can’t bring myself to do it.
Hubby and I have had round two before, but kegels and tantra weren’t the fix for us. The cure is (or at least it was for us) you have to both want it; you have to remind yourself that she is full of cum for you, and have her remind you. Have her tell you how hot she feels being full of you, make out with her and have her invite you back in. She has to want it too; she has to want you, specifically. If she’s a “one and done” kind of lady, chances are you could be feeding off of one another’s energy. Good luck! 
I dont know if a ruined orgasm may be the key here, if its the orgasm that releases the hormone rather than the ejaculation. I know when I had one I was surprised that I could still stay hard and then ejaculate later on in the session with an orgasm.
I am a bit younger than you (mid 30s) usually i find a break of 10-20 minutes of just cuddling or whatever is good. Stay in the mood somewhat, etc give back rubs, change position, etc
I remember when we were still going out
We were in my room at my lodgings
We were having sex for probably like about the first week she was on the pill so no condom so I was super horny
I think we had full sex and I came inside her about 5 times in the same evening
After the first time it was like climb off her, lie there relax and caress then start snogging and teasing again and then start to penetrate her and then cum pretty quickly
I can’t remember anything like that since
We never were into post sex cum play etc as it wasn’t even anything I knew about back then
But I would love to eat her pussy after sex these days but my recovery time is too long and I’m not turned in enough
I’m different with my cam sessions with guys tho when I’m in my lingerie
I can cum and then go off do something mundane for maybe 20 minutes then get a message from another guy or group of guys that are interested in wankin with me and I’m erect and ready in seconds and can cum again in minutes
I can still repeat this maybe 4 or 5 times in a day if I’m home alone but by cum no 3 I’m cuming dry but it’s still feeling good
I think that the overall article was suggesting that, when you orgasm multiple times before ejaculating, you can still ejaculate after the last orgasm. That way, you can still get the ejaculation that you want at the end. In edging, this has a similar pattern, except that you do not orgasm multiple times; you only get close (not too close) to orgasm multiple times and then finally ejaculate at the end. I have come very close to ejaculating during edging, but I was able to back off. Unfortunately, if you get that close, you sometimes wind up ejaculating when you do not want to.
@TruthSeeker12345 I’m getting more into edging or rather remaining really aroused for a longer period without ejaculating
I tend to do this in my cam fun with guys
I’ll chat n cam n get close to a cum
Then either the other guy cums and is satisfied or has to go
Then I cam again and say I prefer not to cum yet but get close
Then cum in maybe another call
I used to be in a rush and would cum at the earliest opportunity
This is a different kind of fun
Thanks a lot for the replies guys! People have made some good points and some really good suggestions - it’s definitely given me some ideas to work on and a way forward
I don’t know how long my refractory period is - time between getting a hard on - but after we fuck and lay there a while, playing and feeling each other, I get a good hard on and can fuck to orgasm. I wonder why the second orgasm is stronger? OH also cums once from my penis when we have a double header. Is her vagina more sensitive?
It will usually take me about 20 minutes or so to be hard and ready for another round. Like other guys have said, cuddling, staying in the moment helps and keeps me aroused. I’ll cum the next time or two also but volume of cum decreases each time. Some nights though, we fuck and then pass out cold. A good orgasm is the best sleep aid for me.
This morning I was home alone and managed to masturbate n cum 3 times in about 3 hours
I’m over 60 now so I think I’m doing ok
I’m almost coming dry by the time I’m finished on the third but the intensity of the build up and the hardness of my erection is a good as ever
Between times I was messaging different guys and sharing pics of me in my lingerie that maintains my arousal level I guess
I guess there must be some evolutionary reason which comes into play a bit for guys once we have cum (such as not wanting to be prey to some predator while going in for round 2, better to just get it over with in the wild/cave man days)..
But yeah I can definitely relate as it’s a very sudden shift mentally after orgasm with ejaculation.
I have found however as I have passed the 40 mark age wise, I can actually get myself built up to going again quicker than I used to which isn’t often the case with others. I am usually the one wanting my wife to keep playing, cuddling, touching etc while I give it a few mins to start up again (but she’s usually quite happy to stop at that point instead). Would love a really long lazy morning or evening where we could play with going again and keeping the turn on, as it feels like there is way more fun and relaxed feel the second round..
I have the same/similar sort of desire, although less explicitly tied to the thoughts of cumplay. Haven’t had a session that allowed for it in a long while but I think it could work in terms of a BDSM/power play session where I cum first, quickly and selfishly, and then take the time to tease my wife and build to her orgasm and hopefully have recovered enough to cum with her the second time. We just haven’t had space for that in a long time to take any intention around it.
More frequently in the past it’s not been uncommon for me to cum at bedtime and then within an hour if wifey is really keyed up and unable to fall asleep she asks for another round which I’m able to deliver the erection maybe 95% of the time and cum again maybe 75% of the time. We had a stretch there a few years back after wifey was let go from a job and dealing with a lot of anxiety/insomnia that it was several nights a week of hitting me up at least twice a night, and I noted at least one night that it was 3x between 9PM and midnight. We have also had one occasion in the last year that a Sunday afternoon romp was followed just by snuggling under the covers for 30 minutes and I was aroused again so we both had another orgasm. But mostly it’s rare for us to have that kind of time and space together with the ages the kids are at.
In general terms.
Masturbation: One and done. Very very rarely will I want or need to go for round two and cash in again. Maybe when I was much younger then I would have wanted multiple a day. That’s not to say that I can’t, I just don’t want to.
Intercourse: We can go two or three times in a session. The first ejaculation is of course the best. That’s when the mental side of it kicks in. It’s interesting that others have mentioned that the want for more disappears after ejaculation.
If we continue to focus and stay commited to it and continue to cuddle, massage, flirt then round two comes round pretty quickly too. It’s been a while since we have gone three times but it isn’t out of the realms of possibility.
If you edge before ejaculating, the load can be very large. That might deplete the semen more. Maybe at a younger age, there was no edging . . .
Samantha here. My partner has a recovery time of half an hour id say depending how many times hes cum in the last 24 hours.
If hes not cum in a few days then hes ready to go again in 10 mins.
The other day we were having sex doggy and i was craving anal. I told him to put it in my ass but it was too late, he came in my pussy. I was still really horny so asked him to use his cum as lube to fuck my ass. He did but took him 10 mins or so get fully hard again.
I usually need to wait till the next day.
Although somehow, twice a day is easy when we’re staying at a hotel!
And recently, after a week away with family we managed to get a day to ourselves at home - finally being able to let go, we actually dozed off also for the first time in a while. What was surprising was I was ready to go again in an hour, wife didn’t want to waste the opportunity!
Even more surprising, the cons orgasm was just as strong as the first.
I suspect that’s a one off for me, but will enjoy trying again
Al’s OH writing. We all know about the refractory period. But yesterday we had sex in bed instead of the couch. After he came, he kept his penis in and only kept pushing in gently after. I’m not sure he ever got really soft because his penis didn’t fall out. We laid there a while and he started humping me again. OMG! Took him a while but he came again. This time his penis fell out soft after. He made me cum with some fingering and oral after.
Im in my 40s too and struggle to get a second round in. I occasionally manage it after about half hour but I’m never quite so hard and worry about losing it. I’ve had viagra before and that was successful. They advise you to take it half hour before sex so difficult if it’s not planned. It doesn’t work everytime, maybe because it doesn’t work well after you’ve eaten. After sex I stayed hard and rock solid so kept on going. It really give me confidence as wasn’t worried about going down, and I usually cum quickly but but lasted well over half hour the second round.
My husband is usually done after his orgasm unless it has been a while and he’s managed to go without wanking also. He has tried Viagra and Cialis a couple of time recreationally and on Cialis he normally doesn’t go soft after cumming and is ready to go again straight away. The effect usually lasts for 2 days so is good for the weekend.