Me and my OH are in a commited and loving long distance, and as much as we enjoy our times in the bedroom together, they can sometimes be few and far between, and the idea of an open relationship has come up in conversation.
We're both in our twenties, it's my first proper relationship and was a virgin when we got together, whereas she had a few boyfriends and casuals/fuckbuddies. I moved to university when we had been together for six months, and she has said that she doesn't want me to miss out on any fun, especially given my lack of previous experience.
We're both fairly open minded, and honest with each other, and it hasn't gone any further than a 'what would happen if?' (and to be honest, I doubt it will ever get any further than that). I'm certainly not going to go out looking for anyone else just because she's said she understands me having human urges, so I'm basically just wondering how common/rare open relationships are, and what people who have had one would say about them?
That's kinda the thing. Yes, I would be jealous if she had a casual, but it started off cos she's more experienced than me, and she said it would be one way, where I could do stuff but she wouldn't as she didn't feel the need. (I said she could do stuff with other girls as she has said she is curious, and I know that would just be casual).
I asked a friend (just for her opinion, not to do stuff with) who basically said "don't, she's just testing you", and no offence to her, but I trust my OH to not be like that, and so I wanted to ask people more open minded.
I am not sure if she is testing you. However, as this is very one sided then I think it could all go very wrong. It may not but there is quite a chance.
When I met my partner, I hadn't had experience whereas he had. However, I do now, though not with other men sexually.
I think it would be better to do this when you are together, as in physically, not long distance and be able to properly talk about this.
At the moment I don't think it is the right thing do.
I'm in a similar situation to you and I think it's quite "normal" to consider this option when your current long distance relationship has a lot of gaps in time.
I've been in a relationship for 2 years now and we see eachother every once in a while. For now we are wholly commited to eachother but I can understand the desire in having an open relationship in this situation. (I am quite content in keeping things the current way).
I think what's most important is that you both talk about how you feel, including your fears and issues. As long as you are open with eachother you should come to a decision that suits you both. Don't be rash and think about the possible consequences.
Thanks for your input. Sounds like you both a different way of doing things, but as long as it works, then fair play to you. A threesome is also something that's popped up in 'what if' conversations, but the thought of an escort has never come up.
I think that's one of the most important things about having a 3rd person/people. Who to choose? Personally I wouldn't be able to do anything intimate with someone I'd never met before, but I guess it's up to you as a couple where you draw the line on how well you know that person.