Blank message .. or coded perhaps miss??!!! lol
sorry I have no idea what happened there, my whole computer shut down lol! What I wanted to say ghost, was if you think things need spicing up, in my opinion, cyber sex is a very dangerous road to follow. Rather you have a chat with your partner, buy her some things from here. Imagine how you would feel if you found out your partner was chatting about her most intimate sexual desires with random strangers? Would you be happy?
I think not.
Don't think anyone was 'lecturing', just warning since he seemed to be assuming that she wouldn't have a problem. A good while back, there was some drama as a user indulged in the same thing, and his wife found out and was decidedly NOT on board. If someone's unaware of the danger, then informing them politely - as others have done - is perfectly correct, and ghost at least took it in the spirit it was intended (and hopefully now either has the green light to do it the correct way, or has come up with an alternative which suits his relationship).
I was not trying to lecture, but warn him, its different. Assuming partner will be all right with you having cyber sex is completely wrong! Some are, there are examples of that. And then go ahead. But I know my partner would consider it a regular cheating and if I did it periodically, he would consider breaking up with me if he found out. We did have a chat about this. Watching porn is all right, having cyber sex is not. He could be potentially risking his relationship and I think thats why we warned him a bit about how people may see cyber sex.
Miss Behaviour wrote:
Imagine how you would feel if you found out your partner was chatting about her most intimate sexual desires with random strangers? Would you be happy?
I think not.
.. and what many forum members actually do here at LH forums!!!
But back to the ghost's question - it looks like he's got 2 supporters already after D-l 333 lent her licious bare shoulders to the cause!
Jo...and your point is? I am not speaking about "many" forum members, i was answering one specific one.
I think it is different when you are talking about sex with someone. I am allowed to discuss sex with my friends, even do with two male friends and thats fine. But having cyber sex is completely different category. Discussing chat is more about what you can try, what sex toys are there, what do you think of something. Cyber sex is action with someone. Living it through and usually masturbating at the same time or being really turned on. I dont get turned on by discussing sexual topics here.
Jo wrote:
Come on all of you! Did you read what ghost is asking?!?
Hi. Where is the best place to go and chat . ...
One started with advise to ask his gf first and all of you sing in one accord 'Have you asked her, have you , have you-uuuu?'
Just tell the man where you normally chat without asking your gf, bg, oh first !
ShaftMaster had some info on Mywebcams.com.. ghost, you may see those girlies there and I think some offer to view your cam (if you pay them of course). Other than that, I don't know but if you discover anything let me know. (Hey, assuming you are a responsible adult and whatever you do you are aware of the consequences, don't think I am encouraging you!)
Actually, yes, I did read his post. Including the bit that said "I'm not interested in cheating on my partner".
Apologies if I've overstepped a mark, I just thought it was worth asking if he knew whether his OH considered cybersex to be cheating. Whilst I don't want to ruin his fun I also care enough about you guys to want you to consider the long-term implications of your actions.
To get "back on thread" according to your reading of the original post. I'm sorry I don't know of anywhere, good luck with your search.
Jo wrote:
Come on all of you! Did you read what ghost is asking?!?
Hi. Where is the best place to go and chat . ...
One started with advise to ask his gf first and all of you sing in one accord 'Have you asked her, have you , have you-uuuu?'
Just tell the man where you normally chat without asking your gf, bg, oh first !
He asked for help and got the best kind in reply, hopefully because of it he still has a healthy relationship.
While I understand your point that nobody offered him the straight answer he first came in search of, there is a perfectly good reason for that.
Just because you may have knowledge of a certain subject doesn't mean that it is always safe, either legally or (as in this case) morally, to share that information if you feel that they may harm themselves, betray others or commit a wrongdoing. As you can see, our fellow members only have Mr. Ghost's best interests at heart.
Jo wrote:
Miss Behaviour wrote:
Imagine how you would feel if you found out your partner was chatting about her most intimate sexual desires with random strangers? Would you be happy?
I think not.
.. and what many forum members actually do here at LH forums!!!
If you cannot see a difference between "cyber sex" and discussing matters related to sexual health and happiness with like-minded adults then I would suggest that you may have the wrong idea about the Lovehoney community.
In answer to your questions general online chat rooms are full of people wanting to have cyber sex this i think is ur best bet.
Question answered! Now what i think
I know cyber sex is one of those things that is a grey area - some people classify it as cheating and others dont (personally I myself would say it is cheating) So like many of the lovely other ladies have suggested i would discuss your want for cyber sex with ur OH and see how she responds to the idea.
Some great constructive advice was given and thats how it should be taken as constructive advice.
I hope i answered your question Ghost x
I would def consider cyber sex cheating..Ask your partner how she feelsas she may see as harmless fun or she may not.
Maybe there are other ways of spicing things up that involve both of you...
Jo wrote:
Miss Behaviour wrote:
Imagine how you would feel if you found out your partner was chatting about her most intimate sexual desires with random strangers? Would you be happy?
I think not.
.. and what many forum members actually do here at LH forums!!!
Whenever I talk about mine and my gf's intimacy, it's almost always generaly discussions in which I use our experience's to help out others. Added to this, I am doing so, knowing that my gf is ok with it, because I discussed it with her, and she specifically gave me her approval. she know's it's all anonymous, and trusts me not to reveal specific details regarding names, where we live etc.
Ghost gave the impression that he had not disxussed cyber sex with his partner, and so, as mentioned above, I used the benefit of my experience to try and help. Apologies to Ghost if it seemed like I/we were trying to force it on you.
Also, it seems interesting to me that it's not Ghost complaining, but someone else?
Shaft, I dont know where you got the impression i was complaining or anyone else for that matter! Maybe have a read again of the thread???
Satoshi, yes i am familliar with the lovehoney forum and people giving advice as i have done and as others have done for me too! But when someone asks a straight question, for gods sake just answer the man instead of giving in what is my opinion `a lecture'. Everyone has their opinion of whether cyber sex is wrong or not.. that was not the question. Fair enough if you have an opinion on the matter, then just say `in my opnion it would be better to discuss with o/h' rather than say `have you spoken to your mrs, its cheating'. That is my opinion on the matter!
Dee_licious333 wrote:
Shaft, I dont know where you got the impression i was complaining or anyone else for that matter! Maybe have a read again of the thread???
Sorry, maybe complain wasn't the right word, I was merely trying to point out how it was others reacting, and not the person who we were giving a 'lecture'. And I'm not trying to dismiss your opinions, just reassure you that (at least from me), it was meant as advice. There was no pressure (intended) for Ghost to take it, I merely didn't want to sit back and do nothing to prevent what could be a breach of trust between two people, when it could have been avoided.
Dee_licious333 wrote:
Fair enough if you have an opinion on the matter, then just say `in my opnion it would be better to discuss with o/h' rather than say `have you spoken to your mrs, its cheating'. That is my opinion on the matter!
Not that such wording would change the meaning or validity of their posts but perhaps you were a little hasty in your reply:
CurlyCoupleWife wrote:
I personally would view it as cheating as it involves another real person.
Just my personal thoughts (snip)
Pixieking wrote:
Personally, if someone was doing that to me without telling me i'd consider it cheating.
ghostgirl wrote:
If you havent discussed it then it might not be such a good idea, I would consider it cheating as well
ShaftMaster wrote:
me and my gf are broad minded, and she has even suggested the idea of an open relationship, but even cybering is still something I'd want to talk to her about. Even though I'm sure she'd understand, I'd still want to respect her and the honesty/openess we have.
Laveila wrote:
(snip) thats why I would discuss it. with her first
wildjezz wrote:
I think it comes down to trust when you are in a relationship
My suggestion... (snip)
Miss Behaviour wrote:
in my opinion, cyber sex is a very dangerous road to follow
Ghost seems to be a sensible fellow and doesn't seem offended by the honest advice:
ghost wrote:
I love all kinds of sex but i love my other half more than my own sexual desires.
ghost wrote:
Ok Point taken. Not sure what the reaction will be, but lets see. Thanks for the feedback.
Youve picked out the `in my opinions' well done!! im glad you got time to read through the whole thread.. bit pettty IMO but there you go!!
Dee_licious333 wrote:
Youve picked out the `in my opinions' well done!! im glad you got time to read through the whole thread.. bit pettty IMO but there you go!!
No pettiness intended, I was merely defending our fellow members by pointing out that perhaps you hadn't before posting your previous comment 
In my opinion it is always better to read someones reply thoroughly before denouncing it.
Ghost, my apologies for getting off-topic, I hope you have found the advice you were looking for.
ghost wrote:
Hi. Where is the best place to go and chat . Im not intersted in cheating on my partner but a bit of cyber sex might spice things up a bit.
This is the bit that a lot of us spotted & responded to.
ghost wrote:
Hi. Where is the best place to go and chat . Im not intersted in cheating on my partner but a bit of cyber sex might spice things up a bit.
This is the bit that others have picked up upon.
In my view neither of us is wrong we've just focussed on different areas of the initial post. By reading all of our responses ghost will probably get the answer he was after.
Having read through the responses I don't think many of them were judgemental.
In my view asking if ghost knows his partner's opinion on cybersex is a very different thing from saying "cybersex is dirty & cheating and you're a bad man".
If his partner is fine with it or if he's ambivalent to his partner's feelings then I couldn't care either way as to whether he participates in it or not but having spotted posts of his before I'm under the impression he cares about his other half and might want to consider her feelings first.
CCW x
Wow!! Seems like this thread was certainly thought provoking! I did want to get opinions on the subject before taking it any further. Lots of mixed opinions for which i am very grateful. I think i will hold tight, pick the right momeny to discuss with the other half and then take a decision on whether to pursue or not. Thank you all again :-)
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