Deep pain during sex

First of all hello all. :) I'm not usually much of a poster on forums but I could do with some advice.

My gf gets pains deep inside her during sex (I think cervix?) especially if I'm taking her from behind but also sometimes when she's on top.

Have tried adjusting the angle by various adjustments to the position which can help somewhat but still will cause her pain if I go all in.

Have tried her laying on bed and putting pillows underneath to push her ass up more and still same issue.

Have tried using plenty of lube.
Always do plenty of foreplay if I'm going to be taking her from behind.

Not sure what else to try?

And yes for the most part its good as long as I don't thrust all the way in... But once I get really into it its hard not to push it all in.

Any advice on what else to try would be great?

Thanks

Carl1357246 wrote:

First of all hello all. :) I'm not usually much of a poster on forums but I could do with some advice.

My gf gets pains deep inside her during sex (I think cervix?) especially if I'm taking her from behind but also sometimes when she's on top.

Have tried adjusting the angle by various adjustments to the position which can help somewhat but still will cause her pain if I go all in.

Have tried her laying on bed and putting pillows underneath to push her ass up more and still same issue.

Have tried using plenty of lube.
Always do plenty of foreplay if I'm going to be taking her from behind.

Not sure what else to try?

And yes for the most part its good as long as I don't thrust all the way in... But once I get really into it its hard not to push it all in.

Any advice on what else to try would be great?

Thanks

Hi Carl

All of the positions you've just described are desgined for deep penetration. Whilst some women like the sensation of deep penetration and cervix stimulation, many find it far too sensitive or painful. 

If your gf finds deep penetration too painful, you should avoid positions like doggy or any missionary where her pelvis is lifted (legs over shoulders / cushion under bum). 

When she's on top, she can try leaning forwards so her chest is close to yours to recude the depth of penetration. Orrr get her to lean all the way back - this will steer your penis towards her g-spot rather than her cervix. 

A postion which may be mutually beneficial could be spooning on your sides and entering her in that position. You'll get the benefit of feeling like you're taking full thrusts, whilst it won't we quite so cervix-y for her. 

It's also worth noting that the cervix moves a lot during a woman's cycle. About mid way through her cycle it should be at its highest and hardest to reach so deeper positions may be more cofortable for her at around this time. 

Also, you need to bear in mind how well endowed you are. If you are particularly long, you may never ben able to fully insert yourself, but there are positions which can help you get a similar sensation. 

Thank you jess

We do mostly use the other positions that normally work OK without too much problems. (Even though spooning also tends to also hit it sometimes) but was hoping to find ways for us both to enjoy all positions fully without limiting ourselves.

Don't get me wrong its not bad from behind by any means its just I have to keep my mind partly on restricting my thrusts ... And sometimes I would like to just go bananas lol

What you say about the cervix moving during cycle is interesting and I'll have to mention it to her and see what she says. May just need to do some experimenting ! :)

Regarding endowment.. I have never really considered myself particularly large but recent (unrelated to the issue in this thread) events have got me thinking..

Something else I thought about was putting something around the base of my shaft to stop me being able to go all in.. Just not sure what would work.

Thanks again and I'll have a think about it.

Has she seen a doctor about this yet? Some gynaecological conditions can cause pain during sex and might be worth a trip to the GP, especially if she's experiencing other gynaecological problems as well. There might not be anything to investigate, but all the same there might be

Hi meow thanks we thought so too when we first got together .. She did go to the GPS years ago about this issue (this isnt a new issue Btw its something we have been working around for years.) And verdict was that nothing was wrong.

Carl1357246 wrote:

Thank you jess

We do mostly use the other positions that normally work OK without too much problems. (Even though spooning also tends to also hit it sometimes) but was hoping to find ways for us both to enjoy all positions fully without limiting ourselves.

Don't get me wrong its not bad from behind by any means its just I have to keep my mind partly on restricting my thrusts ... And sometimes I would like to just go bananas lol

What you say about the cervix moving during cycle is interesting and I'll have to mention it to her and see what she says. May just need to do some experimenting ! :)

Regarding endowment.. I have never really considered myself particularly large but recent (unrelated to the issue in this thread) events have got me thinking..

Something else I thought about was putting something around the base of my shaft to stop me being able to go all in.. Just not sure what would work.

Thanks again and I'll have a think about it.

I also pondered whether you wearing something at the base of your penis would help too.

Even though this is marketed as a ball stretcher, something like this would be perfect. It's super-soft and squishy so if you were to wear it at the base it would stop overinsertion, and cushion your thrusts too :) 

The cervix is my favorite erogenous spot, but our does require a lot of warm up for most women. What I do is to give myself a cervix massage before making love, but only do you avoid the pain but the sensations from the a-spot/cervix area feel divine and out of this world.
I use any dildo with a slight curve for this purpose. The "fucking sculptures g-spoon" is my favorite, but also the vixen mustang is great and on a lower budget these ones work too for me too:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=32877
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=34763

You can also use your fingers to massage her cervix for a more intimate experience, although it is not always possible to reach with the fingers.

I truly believe that all women deserve to experience the heavenly sensations of cervix simulation, when completely relaxed and open, but it is normal to require a lot of specific foreplay beforehand. It's worth the effort in my opinion.

Lovehoney - Jess Wilde wrote:

Carl1357246 wrote:

Thank you jess

We do mostly use the other positions that normally work OK without too much problems. (Even though spooning also tends to also hit it sometimes) but was hoping to find ways for us both to enjoy all positions fully without limiting ourselves.

Don't get me wrong its not bad from behind by any means its just I have to keep my mind partly on restricting my thrusts ... And sometimes I would like to just go bananas lol

What you say about the cervix moving during cycle is interesting and I'll have to mention it to her and see what she says. May just need to do some experimenting ! :)

Regarding endowment.. I have never really considered myself particularly large but recent (unrelated to the issue in this thread) events have got me thinking..

Something else I thought about was putting something around the base of my shaft to stop me being able to go all in.. Just not sure what would work.

Thanks again and I'll have a think about it.

I also pondered whether you wearing something at the base of your penis would help too.

Even though http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=24098 is marketed as a ball stretcher, something like this would be perfect. It's super-soft and squishy so if you were to wear it at the base it would stop overinsertion, and cushion your thrusts too :)

Ahh yes that is the sort of thing I had in mind. I might try that next time I order... I have in the past used my hand wrapped around the base of my shaft to stop over insertion .. Which worked but this would free my hands up for other things :) Thanks jess

Shakti wrote:

The cervix is my favorite erogenous spot, but our does require a lot of warm up for most women. What I do is to give myself a cervix massage before making love, but only do you avoid the pain but the sensations from the a-spot/cervix area feel divine and out of this world.
I use any dildo with a slight curve for this purpose. The "fucking sculptures g-spoon" is my favorite, but also the vixen mustang is great and on a lower budget these ones work too for me too:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=32877
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=34763

You can also use your fingers to massage her cervix for a more intimate experience, although it is not always possible to reach with the fingers.

I truly believe that all women deserve to experience the heavenly sensations of cervix simulation, when completely relaxed and open, but it is normal to require a lot of specific foreplay beforehand. It's worth the effort in my opinion.

Interesting .... For how long and how gently? Would you say a softer feel dildo is preferable for warm up? Don't think I'll reach with my fingers so.. Might try the toy route.

It's quite individual and dependent on other factors such as time if the month and how much other foreplay went beforehand. For me generally around half an hour before lovemaking and at times I do 10-15 minutes daily just to keep the openness.

I prefer a harder material for the actual massage and then vixen mustang or bandit for some initial thrusting, but this might be a personal preference. For deep penetration I also like to be in control of the depth in the beginning, with me on top or from behind with a clear agreement that I set the speed and rhythm, and the best part is when I can completely let go and surrender.

I also noticed that the cervix is quite connected to deep emotions and the feeling of profound love and trust makes a big difference, it's like you have to open up deep deep inside to let another person in and if there are past traumas, trust issues, inner tension, resistance towards feeling vulnerable, emotional problems or difficulty in letting go of control, then these emotions will need processing as they tend to pop up.

On the positive side the deep emotional cervix connection is also the reason why the pleasure and orgasms at this level are so profoundly fulfilling and not only "whole body" but "whole being" experiences.

I also noticed that the cervix is quite connected to deep emotions and the feeling of profound love and trust makes a big difference, it's like you have to open up deep deep inside to let another person in and if there are past traumas, trust issues, inner tension, resistance towards feeling vulnerable, emotional problems or difficulty in letting go of control, then these emotions will need processing as they tend to pop up.

On the positive side the deep emotional cervix connection is also the reason why the pleasure and orgasms at this level are so profoundly fulfilling and not only "whole body" but "whole being" experiences.

Your informations very interesting. Never, ever, ever have i contemplated cervix stimulation due to the pain I've endured with sex. What you've suggested about forplay making the experience immense pain free & out of this worlds intrigued me. The part of the post I've quoted is really making me think and want to investigate as a few of thecreasons listed are relevant so i never thot id say this.....cervix exploration seems worth researching and exploring. Thanks hun 👍💗xx

Mrs. McA here:

I have this problem. When he hits my cervix, it's really painful. I also tend to get lightheaded and dizzy when my cervix is manipulated(during gynecological exams, for example). My doctor suggested it could be a vasovagal nerve response. Some women just have really sensitive cervices. Short of numbing my cervix with something, there isn't much to be done but avoid contact with it.

I sympathize with the frustration at having to hold back; he and I would like to not have to worry about him hitting my cervix. We kind of get around that with anal, he doesn't have to hold back when we have anal, which is nice when we want deep penetration. Is that something you could bring up with her?

First of all can I just say how heart warming this thread is! You are seeking advice purely out of genuine concern for your OH, which is lovely! Not an ounce of selfishness on your part, so refreshing!
I have a tilted pelvis/uterus and can completely empathise. Fortunately I too have an amazing OH. You talk about positions she experiences pain. Are there any preferred ones where she has no discomfort? For me it's not always a specific position, rather than just how my body reacts at certain times. As in I can comfortably (enjoy) any/all positions one day, to then experiencing severe pain the next diring intercourse! My OH is well above average, but the pain i get is less to do with him and more down to my body. We can go from being deep and rough no problem, to having to be gentle and delicate, it just depends. Has she discussed this with her GP or Nurse? They may be able to suggest/advise. You obviously love her, but something so intimate should be enjoyable for both parties. I truly hope you guys can find a resolution, as it seems like she's missing out 😥

Lovehoney - Jess Wilde wrote:

Carl1357246 wrote:

Thank you jess

We do mostly use the other positions that normally work OK without too much problems. (Even though spooning also tends to also hit it sometimes) but was hoping to find ways for us both to enjoy all positions fully without limiting ourselves.

Don't get me wrong its not bad from behind by any means its just I have to keep my mind partly on restricting my thrusts ... And sometimes I would like to just go bananas lol

What you say about the cervix moving during cycle is interesting and I'll have to mention it to her and see what she says. May just need to do some experimenting ! :)

Regarding endowment.. I have never really considered myself particularly large but recent (unrelated to the issue in this thread) events have got me thinking..

Something else I thought about was putting something around the base of my shaft to stop me being able to go all in.. Just not sure what would work.

Thanks again and I'll have a think about it.

I also pondered whether you wearing something at the base of your penis would help too.

Even though http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=24098 is marketed as a ball stretcher, something like this would be perfect. It's super-soft and squishy so if you were to wear it at the base it would stop overinsertion, and cushion your thrusts too :)

Maybe there is a market for advertising something like this as a "Reducer"

That would boost a few ego's I'm sure, I mean being too big... Not me though sadly, need all the help I can get LOL