Hi guys!, does anyone have any tips about getting a sexy delivery when you live with family? im always worried in case they ask "hey i saw you got a package, what did you order" or they want me to open it in front of them and ask why when i say no, i dont have another address i could send them to
this is the only reason i dont order sex toys often, i have to wait untill my family are on holiday or something but they havnt been away in nearly a year.
can i just ask them to deliver it to my neighbours and i just pick it up or something?
Thanks
You could pick it up from your local post office?
Is that something that has ever actually happened with your family? Having to open mail in front of them? It can be easy to feel paranoid when ordering sexy things but realistically, how much do your family care about your mail beyond the polite 'oh what did you get'?
I wouldn't get it delivered to a neighbours house unless you have a neighbour who has given you express permission. Bad idea.
If your family ask you open it in front of them, which I doubt they would unless they are VERY invasive people, you can have an excuse at the ready that it is a surprise and you don't want them to see. Of course, you would do well to have something stored away that you could then produce as the 'surprise' that you could give to them. But no need to be so elaborate unless you know they would force the issue. I mean, if you are using this forum you should be an adult. Even living with family that still entitles you to a certain level of privacy.
As for 'what's in the box', as generic and offhand an answer as 'oh just a book I ordered' matches the generic and offhand question, does it not? It's not really something people tend to want an elaborate answer to. If they want to see, pop upstairs and bring down a book. Or CD, or t-shirt, or whatever you have a large collection of that they'd not realise it wasn't a new one.
You could potentially save all the hassle and get it delivered to your local post office, depending on if your post office offers the service. See here: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/help/local-collect-faq/
Lovebirds_x wrote:
Is that something that has ever actually happened with your family? Having to open mail in front of them? It can be easy to feel paranoid when ordering sexy things but realistically, how much do your family care about your mail beyond the polite 'oh what did you get'?
I wouldn't get it delivered to a neighbours house unless you have a neighbour who has given you express permission. Bad idea.
If your family ask you open it in front of them, which I doubt they would unless they are VERY invasive people, you can have an excuse at the ready that it is a surprise and you don't want them to see. Of course, you would do well to have something stored away that you could then produce as the 'surprise' that you could give to them. But no need to be so elaborate unless you know they would force the issue. I mean, if you are using this forum you should be an adult. Even living with family that still entitles you to a certain level of privacy.
As for 'what's in the box', as generic and offhand an answer as 'oh just a book I ordered' matches the generic and offhand question, does it not? It's not really something people tend to want an elaborate answer to. If they want to see, pop upstairs and bring down a book. Or CD, or t-shirt, or whatever you have a large collection of that they'd not realise it wasn't a new one.
You could potentially save all the hassle and get it delivered to your local post office, depending on if your post office offers the service. See here: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/help/local-collect-faq/
you are right, i have ordered toys before, im just a bit parranoid as all, really dont want that akward conversation, thanks for the help and info!
Here are some good and some excellent excused you could use if someone is being nosy:
1. It is a present for [insert fake or real (if trustworth) friend's name here]'s mum. [blabla] was worried she'd find out about it if it was delivered to the house.
2.It's a present, so it's a secret... Christmas is coming up you know!
3. I signed up to this penpal site and I've got this penpal in Chile who wanted a parcel of "British crap" (or from wherever you live) so I ordered some shortbread and some tea and some stuff I'm going to send him/her
4. It's a new hair straightner/curling iron/solding iron/USB mouse/whatever else gadget you have that could need replacing, my old one broke.
5. I let [insert friend] order some lingerie here, she was worried about her father receiving it and being nosy, haha.
6.It's a toy for [friend's name]'s daughter's birthday
7. I don't know, [friend's name] said he/she'd send me something, but to wait to open it until she's here.
8. It's hairspray and some [insert whatever simple beauty gadget they would not be interested in]
9. [Some disgusting foodstuff they would not want to try], I'm bringing it to [friend]'s party for a food-themed truth or dare
10. Some guy on the internet said he'd send me a bunch of stuff if I would sign away my soul to him.
11. My welcome pack form the scientologists, I want to open it in peace and tranquility, please.
12. I really don't think you would want to know...
13. It's sex toys.
14. Huh, I was sure they would have put air holes in it so they could breathe? Don't bait worms breathe?
15. It's some Halloween/Christmas/Easter decorations
16. It's something for my halloween costume, I guess you'll just have to wait and see
17. It's my chest hair preservtion kit
18. It is some TV-shop crap. Don't ask. I'll send it back.
19. MY SUMMONING CIRCLE!!! FINALLY! Do we have any candles?
20. This is not the parcel you are looking for. *step away slowly*
Haha clockwork oasis, some of those are pure genius!
13 is the winner.
LOL, Clockwork_Oasis!
2 is good clockwork oasis funny
Love this actually some VERY good ideas here!
Great ideas for the future
Clockwork, i think ill use excuse 13 :)
21. it's a freebie or free sample i sent off for the freebie excuse will work up to the medium brown box size
Brilliant! Nice work clockwork oaisis.
I usually just say it is something for my ecigarette or it is something for my homebrew. Start having a boring hobby that you can blame packages on but that no one has enough interest to ask more than the polite "whatcha get?"
I have to say, I didn't know you could do click and collect at the post office. I will be making use of that in the future, very handy.
rayking wrote:
13 is the winner.
+1 😂
Thumper the Rabbit wrote:
Brilliant! Nice work clockwork oaisis.
I usually just say it is something for my ecigarette or it is something for my homebrew. Start having a boring hobby that you can blame packages on but that no one has enough interest to ask more than the polite "whatcha get?"
I actually strongly second this advice! I am a bit of a hobby baker, and any talk of my speciality flours, baking scrapes or gluten enchaners would make my parents' eyes glaze over :P Boring hobbies for the win! (also, home brewing <3 )
I love the excuses!
in particular: 10. Some guy on the internet said he'd send me a bunch of stuff if I would sign away my soul to him.
SO good :)
And todays genius award goes to....
Clockwork_Oasis wrote:
Here are some good and some excellent excused you could use if someone is being nosy:
1. It is a present for [insert fake or real (if trustworth) friend's name here]'s mum. [blabla] was worried she'd find out about it if it was delivered to the house.
2.It's a present, so it's a secret... Christmas is coming up you know!
3. I signed up to this penpal site and I've got this penpal in Chile who wanted a parcel of "British crap" (or from wherever you live) so I ordered some shortbread and some tea and some stuff I'm going to send him/her
4. It's a new hair straightner/curling iron/solding iron/USB mouse/whatever else gadget you have that could need replacing, my old one broke.
5. I let [insert friend] order some lingerie here, she was worried about her father receiving it and being nosy, haha.
6.It's a toy for [friend's name]'s daughter's birthday
7. I don't know, [friend's name] said he/she'd send me something, but to wait to open it until she's here.
8. It's hairspray and some [insert whatever simple beauty gadget they would not be interested in]
9. [Some disgusting foodstuff they would not want to try], I'm bringing it to [friend]'s party for a food-themed truth or dare
10. Some guy on the internet said he'd send me a bunch of stuff if I would sign away my soul to him.
11. My welcome pack form the scientologists, I want to open it in peace and tranquility, please.
12. I really don't think you would want to know...
13. It's sex toys.
14. Huh, I was sure they would have put air holes in it so they could breathe? Don't bait worms breathe?
15. It's some Halloween/Christmas/Easter decorations
16. It's something for my halloween costume, I guess you'll just have to wait and see
17. It's my chest hair preservtion kit
18. It is some TV-shop crap. Don't ask. I'll send it back.
19. MY SUMMONING CIRCLE!!! FINALLY! Do we have any candles?
20. This is not the parcel you are looking for. *step away slowly*
Yeah if you can say "It's sex toys" in a joking way they'll possibly feel uncomfortable but your smiling or laughing making them think it's not, but you've actually told them the truth! :D