Depression and Libido

Sex Tips & Talk
25

When you venture outdoors, you aren’t seeing the inside of your four walls or what is on a screen. The view is to infinity, or the limit of your imagination. You are interacting with other real beings, hearing birds or cars driving by whatever in a passive way.

As an old (ish) hippy, there’s nothing better for me than to immerse myself in the environment, especially in nicer weather. The best time ever was attending an outdoor (naked) yoga event, it taught me to listen to the wind rustling the trees, the force of gravity when you let your limbs drop etc. It was a great way to experience blocking out the internal noise in my head too.

Maybe a bit of mumbo-jumbo and I’m not suggesting that is for you, but if you take even just a part of that on, it changes your perspective on things. Realising that we all are really insignificant on the planet actually boosted my self-esteem greatly.

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26

I’m thinking maybe this is a lost cause. Should I just call it off with my friend and take down this post?

27

Why not read what people say and have a think if it may help you ?

We are putting a bit of effort in to help you, it would be appreciated if you responded to our ideas.

Alcohol is never a solution either, it always exacerbates the negatives.

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28

Drinking is never a solution. I have had experience of someone close drinking everyday through depression (toxic relationship) she was diagnosed as being alcohol dependent (could not function without drinking). Her stomach would swell and look like she was pregnant and she would have to go into hospital to have about 10 litres of fluid drained out of her stomach. She was told that she had about three months to live if she continued to drink. She turned her life around and recovered so it is possible Many of her friends, also alcoholics have since died and believe me it is a horrible way to go.

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30

Going outside won’t change your behaviour. Its about improving your mood.

I think its about feeling that you’re part of it all and its all part of you. You’re not this separate entity that exists in your own litle world. You’re a valuable part of something bigger. Seratonin and a drop in cortisol, amongst other things, will make you feel better. They’ll impact your mood, not behaviour. Its upto you what you do with your improved mood

If you want to improve your chances of producing seratonin, try eating more chicken, eggs, salmon, nuts, seeds, cheese, dark chocolate .. if you’re currently having difficulties with appetite its not going to help how you feel. I’m on meds that as a side effect have suppressed my appetite so I’m having to force myself to eat at regular times. I don’t enjoy it but its got to be done.

As a side note, if you were diagnosed with Autism early, then prior to 2013 you weren’t technically allowed to be diagnosed with ADHD as well. Just in case that might be a factor.

I don’t believe you’re incapable of learning anything. To get on here, register and use the forum requires a shit ton of complicated learned skills. You’re not stupid, and you’re not incapable. Maybe you just haven’t found your thing yet. Maybe the way you’ve been taught hasn’t worked for your brain.
I failed everything until I somehow got into university and Bs’d my way onto a course I was interested in. I was in all the important ways years behind my peers who on the whole were 3-4 years younger than me. I loved it, learned the way I wanted, and did really well. You might just need to find your thing or find a way of learning about stuff that works for you.

Can’t remember who said it but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it’s stupid.

31

I go for early morning dips in the sea. The cold water is really good for when my head is full of thoughts. It shuts off my brain, calms me, it helps the parts of my body that are sore, I feel the nerves twitching and I get out feeling grateful.

If you have a beach or a lake near you, I recommend it. But only when people are about, or go with someone. My first time I thought people were crazy and the sea was so cold. Its always cold, but its so good.

I think if you can’t see the beauty in nature, then my suggestions probably won’t help. But its finding whatever makes you happy, and doing more of that.

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32

To all those reading trying to help. I’ll say that I’m 21 years old, and I know that may seem young to quite a few of you, but I’ve managed to try a lot in that time, and trust me, I am an unforgivingly untalented individual, who doesn’t have the intelligence or kinesthetic prowess to be near mediocre at anything I do.

I only passed highschool through being given answer sheets, so my diploma means nothing. I still don’t have a license. I am beyond under qualified to work. And I’m most likely going to die homeless.

33

Bless you I can totally relate to this kinda situation… just saddens me how our current government situation is hell bent on being anti mental health aware, which makes life all the more a struggle to plan ahead or have dreams towards a future.

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35

I’ll see what I can do, but the results of doing something like that are very predictable in how I will comprehend what I’m absorbing.

Also, random thought. When I read your responses, in my mind for some reason, you sound like Ben Starr the actor.

36

I’ve got no idea what to do…

37

I try focusing on small daily comforts, light movement, and lowering pressure on myself. Letting desire come back on its own and treating solo time as optional has helped me a lot.

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38

I’m adding to this as all of these folks are correct.

Get out, keep busy, do things.

After I discovered my ex-wife having an affair, I spiraled, I began therapy before I even confronted her. I moved out to my own place right away.

I did not want to be in my own place with the 4 walls suffocating me. I knew I’d continue to spiral downward if I did that.

I kept busy, even doing things I’d otherwise not do just to be active. I volunteered doing things I’d otherwise not have done just to be out and among people. I didn’t say no to friends or coworkers asking me to go places with them.

I went to the gym a ton to deal with my sadness, depression, anger etc. I worked late at the office too.

Pretty much I did anything to avoid being home alone in my new empty place without my wife and 3 young children.

I was depressed. I didn’t recognize my life. I loved being a family man, I coached little league, youth soccer, I bathed our children each night (my wife didn’t). She and I put them to bed each night, reading stories, talking about their day, talking about what the next day would bring, we’d scratch their backs, then say prayers with them.

I was now alone, my kids weren’t with me, the dogs were with them too.

It was such an abrupt change too. My life was “normal” and then I discovered she was cheating and it all came crashing down in an instant.

What “saved” me back then was keeping myself extremely busy with things, work, friends, activities, volunteering etc.

I knew I couldn’t hole myself up and cut myself off from others.

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39

Same as redundancy being suddenly forced upon you, it is a form of grief and loss.

Glad you dealt with it in the best way you could at the time Herman, you’ve come out of it well of course now, but that pain will never leave you.

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40

Know what you mean about redundancy. That happened to me back in 2011. You get the feeling that nobody wants you. Anyway i was lucky in that i got the first job i applied for, much to hubbys surprise as he spent 6 months trying to get a job and ended up taking contract work.
Also suffered depression as well, unrelated to the redundancy, as it started before then. Still resurfaces occasionally when i think back to things that happened but try to push through.

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