Happy New Year to everybody! I am here with my usual gripe, being unable to orgasm.
Having suffered from depression for 13 years plus, I take duloxetine to control my moods etc. The vast majority of the time I am not interested in sex whatsoever, could happily be celibate without giving it a second thought, then, once in a blue moon I am so horny it is practically painful!
The issue is, thanks to the side effects of my medication, I am unable to orgasm! Believe me, I have been to Pornhub, and, given the vast number of videos available, nothing has helped me cum!
I have considered if a clitoral stimulator would help, or a g-spot love egg. Shame there’s no ‘try before you buy’ option as I don’t want to spend money only to find neither of them work.
Has anyone else suffered with this issue?
From what I have read on this forum there have been a lot of people who have (or have had) this issue here is just one example of a post. I am in a similar boat myself after recently being put on Sertraline where my interest in masterbation has nigh on disappeared but I am still interested in sex with my partner but I am finding it difficult in orgasming and sometimes, especially if distracted in anyway, maintaining an erection even during sex.
I did ask the GP about this and they want me to have a blood test for some initial checks but as it was the week before xmas when I had this discussion I thought best to wait for the new year to book myself in.
With regards to what can help I am afraid that I cant really comment on that but I have found that the male toys that I have only really work if I am really really in the mood, which has not been often!
Hi @CrazyInCambs, sorry to hear of your continuing struggles. I have also been on meds for my mental health so I understand. I’m not taking anything at the moment but my sex drive is the lowest it’s ever been probably due to a combination of poor mental health and the contraceptive pill.
My suggestions are as follows:
Speak to your GP and see if they can suggest anything. There could be an underlying hormone issue or something that you hadn’t even considered. Or there might be a different medication for depression that you could try. There are lots of anti depressants and they all have different side effects, some affect sexual function more than others. Being frustrated and unable to orgasm could, in itself, be affecting your mood.
I find that, once I have orgasmed once, my ability to do it again in the next few days increases. I would say that it would be worth trying some toys to see if they work for you.
I would probably go for a clit toy rather than a g-spot one because you can use clit toys when you are not aroused to help you get in the mood whereas g-spot toys need to be inserted so you’ll need to be aroused to want to use it (i would need to be but that might not be the same for you).
There isn’t a try before you buy option but there is a 100 day money back promise. If you buy a toy and don’t get on with it, you can request a refund. It is at Lovehoney’s discretion but I’ve used it a couple of times and they never questioned it. I guess if you used it lots of times and never actually kept anything, they might start to question it. When i used it, they just asked me what was wrong with it or what i didn’t like about it and then they refunded me and asked me to dispose of the toy.
I hope you get some success. If you would like any suggestions of toys do ask the forum. Just tell us what (if anything) you have tried before and what you usually like (clitoral stimulation, g-spot stimulation, do you want something gentle or powerful…)
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I suffered the same issue many years ago, the anti depressants made it extremely hard to ejaculate which caused a lot of friction in my past relationship. I’m not alone though as guys at work were asking me the same questions and the trouble is that you’re aware of it and it puts more pressure on you and it’s a vicious circle.
It would be worth a chat with your GP but they might be hesitant because it’s hard to get an antidepressant that works without other undesirable effects but if it’s causing issues it’s worth a shot, everyone should be able to enjoy the joys of orgasms.
One thing I’ll say which I did not notice before:
I studied medicine first and foremost ( I do have credentials )
- I had depression so much as a teen, and heavy anxiety
- I tried soft to hard drugs.
- Finally after DOZENS of SSRIs MAOI, benzodiazepine I finally realize my ADHD was misdiagnosed and after 9 psychs ( YES 9) They finally got it!
- Could never sleep/ had multiple panic attacks
- Couldn’t speak, always felt helpless.
I have tried almost all anti-depressants and opiates, and benzodiazepine + barbiturate + tricyclic etc.
after being prescibed amps, my life has been far better (work, preformance, promotions, money spending, love life and ontop of this it has helped my sex life 10 fold, it took work getting used to Vyvanse/Adderall but I realized after so much its the medicine I need and not an actual antidepressant)
It makes me feel happy plus also helps all of my focusing, and keeps me well rounded
Keep in mind medical issues don’t present as they seem ALWAYS!
I am happy I found my answer and I can enjoy life finally ( it has helped everything from sex to sleep to depression) (again this is MY OWN case) so it may not be true FOR YOU!
Ask your psych if it can be something else, be honest, ask **on behalf of your health and mental well-being dr I think this could help (you can even say I tried something before ) or I heard of this)
again be honest they like that and will give you things if you be honest. It took a while a long long time 10 years to find out all I needed was adderall/vyvanse.
Good luck!
Sorry to hear about your situation and hope it can be resolved. I can’t comment myself as fortunately I don’t suffer with the same but my boyfriend has been on and off an SSRI a couple of times now for anxiety and is currently on them. They do have strange side effects for him (he doesn’t really want to be on them and has made lifestyle changes but probably came off them too soon last time).
After a couple of months they definitely affect his sex drive and libido. He doesn’t really get horny but has no problem if I start off, so I have to remember to initiate things. It’s like they switch his dick off and he doesn’t get any urge or need to masturbate at all,which is not normal for him, but I certainly don’t mind that he is not wanking at all 
He struggles to get his orgasm from PIV but can go for ages so this has been very good for me and we have found a wand vibrator can get him there sometimes with long enough stimulation.