Sex with the wife is very rare.She has no sex drive what so ever she won't even talk about it. If I mention it I get my head bitten off this alone puts me off. I always tell her I love her and how good she looks she is a fantastic woman and I love her to bits. If I'm aloud sex it's always the same she wants me to lick her which I enjoy I time making sure I for fill her needs. Then she will won't it over and done with as quick as possible. It's same every time and it's starting to drive me mad I just don't know how to cope with any more.
Not sure what to suggest, talking about in a neutral place, with no pressures. Involving a counsellor to have a neutral perspective. Not sure of the context, has there been some shift in your personal cirumstances which has led to the current state of affairs? I think that you do need to communicate how you are feeling, rather than making any rash decisions. Good luck.
Looking through your past posts it seems this issue has been going on some time. Have you considered buying yourself a Fleshlight to take the edge off? Obviously it's no replacement for a loving sexual relationship with a partner, but they do feel pretty good. 🙂👍
Menopause can send a woman's libido into minus numbers, do you think that could be a part of it?
I agree with Ian Chimp, i am in exactly the same position as 'I Wish'. Talking dont seam to work meet with a brick wall every time i bring up the subject. My Fleshlight is the place to go to relive the tension. I know it wont be any consolation to you. I Wish, but your not alone... Hope things work out for you buddy and get that Fleshlight you wont regret it..
Sorry for your situation . I am a decade or so older than you and have been in a similar situation for about 17 years . My wife hit menopause quite young and is disabled . She is also on many medications . I was enjoying summers after retiring where I laid in the sun often and at her suggestion went to a local nudist camp . I prefer to wear little or nothing when it is warmer out . About a little over a year ago our oldest grandson moved in with us . So some of my outlet activities had to come to an end . I do have quite a few toys of many kinds , but no longer get to use them . The fleshlight never realy did it for me , my two "girlfriends" left and right hand do a much better job for me . My only outlet is my imagination , often coupled with distant memories . I wish you better luck than I have had . My wife suggested I get a side girl . Nice thought , but it would kill me . I love her with all my heart and always have . I went from lover to more of a care taker many years ago . Hang in there .
You're not alone. Been there got the t-shirt only the other way round. Years of rejection really hurts and scars you. Hope you sort it out soon. The longer it goes on the worse it gets...trust me.
As usual, some outstanding advice from Alicia.
Is she happy or content in most other aspects of her life? In my experience, and it has been discussed on here (from both perspectives) many, many times, absence of libido is sometimes a manifestation of other dissatisfactions: mental health, feeling exhausted by the daily grind, and so on. I would be less inclined to ask her specifically about sex if it is obvious that the shutters come down on those occasions.
I don't have any suggestions which haven't already been made, but what were things like when you first became intimate?
If things were good in the past then that is different to if things have always been difficult - there may be a way back if you have good times to remember.
My OH and I both had rather repressive upbringings but had a good sex life when we first got together and as the kiddies came along.
An early menopause knocked my libido out of the window for ages - a few years. We did keep talking, though, including discussing other options and maintaining other aspects of affection and intimacy (eg a massage or shower together). We decided to ride it out.
Eventually, my libido came bouncing back - although there were no guarantees. Now - with the help of Lovehoney - things are better than ever.
These times can happen in a long relationship. Does it feel like one of those times, or has it always been this way? Answering that might be a key to seeing a way forward.
Good luck!
I've read this post with interest, this sounds like my wife, she has lost all interest in love making and I am left frustrated and feeling unloved. I will take a look at fleshlights hopefully these will ease the frustration.
Player 69 wrote:
I've read this post with interest, this sounds like my wife, she has lost all interest in love making and I am left frustrated and feeling unloved. I will take a look at fleshlights hopefully these will ease the frustration.
They do have their downsides too (bit of a faff to clean and dry, not necessarily discreet, etc), but I like knowing I've got mine there if I want it. Some people prefer the Tengas, but I've yet to try them.
I've got this one, which is not discreet in the slightest (unless I pretend it's a spare for my Dyson that I don't own 🙂), but I think it feels great. I've also got the warming rod, which is also another bit of faff, but feels great if you get the timing right. 👍 Some people warm the sleeves up in water instead.
Turbo Blow Job https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=38031
Warming Rod https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=40520
There's also the Lovehoney Thrust range which are a bit cheaper if you wanted to start there? There'll be some in the sale at the moment too. 👍
Thanks for the advice everyone. I don't think much will change pretty hard to describe really. The daily grind of work life and kids no time to ourselves and 101 other things on her mind won't help I try getting list down even if it's just cooking tea ironing clean etc etc but I can't see get any where near 102 love making and enjoying it together. After 37 years together she still looks fantastic and I still excited by her and I tell her but she never says this back to me other than I love you which I know she does. I would be nice for her just to say I am horny I want you . I just had to talk about it to someone and seems as good as it can get as people on here understand. Thanks
Menapause can be an issue. I've got patches and I'm horny as hell. Although I'm separated, so I suppose sex can be more exciting with new partners. Have you tried to spice things up?. Role play, bondage, porn, massage ??. Worth a try. Good luck xx
While women menopause, men suffered ED and others medical conditions. Whatever the situation you are in just remember how you first fell in love with each other. Many times understanding one another's need and moral support is more important to keep the relationship going.