Did I make a mistake?

I shared my wishlist with my wife over the weekend - did the share option and LH sent the email. I know she's seen it, but hasn't made a comment about it at all. There wasn't anything in there that was totally out of the blue, but perhaps I pushed it?

Here's what I had:




We had talked about something that I could wear/use during the day at work to keep my thinking about us. Originally I tried a butt plug, but it was a bit too uncomfortable for all day. I mentioned something like this, but neither of us has mentioned it in months.

For the strap-on, it's a new idea. We've done a bit of prostate play and I really enjoyed it.

I'm just worried that silence means turned off, and she's going to be less interested.

Perhaps she might buy something from there to surprise you with? and she doesn't want to let on. If that's not something she'll do then the best thing to do is bring it up in conversation, just ask if she's seen the email and then she'll probably explain her thoughts.

Thanks CA. I thought I'd give it a couple of days before bringing it up.

Jack&Dolly wrote:

Thanks CA. I thought I'd give it a couple of days before bringing it up.

I don't think you did anything wrong by the way, if nothing has been mentioned for a couple months she may have been taken aback by being sent the wishlist but because it's things you have spoken about before it shouldn't be such a shock. If it was me i'd be quite pleasently surprised actually. Definitely wait a couple days before mentioning it. Hope everything is well.

It could be in her junk folder too. Or she might think it's a marketing email if she's not read it closely.

Don't think you did anything wrong. Maybe she will surprise you and buy you something. If not then don't be afraid to ask. Always better talking than bottling it up imo

She may be waiting for the postie to drop off a wishlist item or two to surprise you :)

I think it is always best to just talk, especially as this is your wife who you love and trust. If I want to try something new from this site or another, I always discuss it with my wife to see if the item is something she will enjoy or not and if it isn't we just move on without creating any bad feeling.

The great thing about talking is that there may be an item that she doesn't like, but then she gets excited by the idea and we end up with a different plan and a different toy!

Just find the right moment during an evening (usually with some alcohol!) and casually open the conversation. Good luck!

Try and not jump to any conclusions, silence can mean a great number of things. Maybe she is thinking about stuff, maybe she’s putting a list together behind the scenes or maybe she’s waiting for a special ocassion to surprise you?. Sometimes people can get spooked and need some reassurance, such as if they aren’t into anal sex and you have a butt plug then assure her she doesn’t need to be involved if she doesn’t want too. People like to think the worst and I feel you have nothing to worry about, if your concerned just ask her if she got the wishlist or had seen it? Just drop a little hint to discuss it all.

Could be that it’s gone to her junk folder or she’s opened it but hasn’t really looked at it yet. Or possibly she’s saving for a more expensive item until a special occasion like Christmas?

Thanks for the great replies everyone! This stuff is all pretty new for both of us, we've sort of rekindled things after a number of years of maybe once a year (we're very emotionally close, just the physical that was missing).

I am probably overly sensitive, especially as what I suggested was more outside the norm than most things. But, there hasn't been any negative comments, or "why did you want to do this", so I'm going with the she's either thinking about it, or planning it for later.

I hope it works out for you Jack, fingers crossed.

Just an update, thanks again for all the responses!

I asked her if she had gotten an email with some suggestions and she said she had. I asked if there were any comments and got a “nope”. That was the end of the talk about it, so I really have no idea how she thinks about it. I’ll certainly ask, but it threw me off a bit.

Hi. Going from once a year to cages and strapons maybe a bit much for your OH. I think my advice would be to treat this as a "not yet" - but it could be a not ever. I think I'd drop the subject for now. Enjoy what you have currently got and try not to think of it as a set back. I hope you both have a good weekend.