Thanks - that sounds like a very similar situation to ours, and if I’m honest, your outcome is my ideal scenario. I don’t necessarily want to be at it every other day, but you’ve hit it bang on the head - it’s the intimacy and connection that I would love to focus on.
Really appreciate your message, that’s given me some optimisim!
Thanks @CurvyCandy2 - we have had conversations and a few days / couple of weeks ago we did have some fun without PIV (new to the forum and have been trying to remember the acronyms!). We didn’t discuss it explicitly but my hunch is that it was my wife’s time of the month, and so it was essentially heaving petting on her upper torso while she gave me a HJ. Isn’t something we’d done since we were teenagers (in the 90s!) but I have to say it was enjoyable. I did mention to her while we were (playing doesn’t seem the right word) that we didn’t have to do this if she wasn’t able to also climax, but she assured me she was still enjoying it and it was a lot of fun. We had to figure out the logistics of the finale (and not making a mess of the bed as it was all spur of the moment), but it was something I really enjoyed. I have to say I’m not hung up on getting my rocks off in the traditional manner, and I have always (and probably always will) had a hang up about my wife not achieving an orgasm when I do. That’s my issue though, not hers.
As I mentioned to @our-adventure-bed - I’m not expecting us to be at it like rabbits; I suppose a bit of variety (and some gentle exploration) is my ideal hope.
Thanks to you all, only just discovered the forum and I hope it will help us. I’d like to show my wife these threads at some point, as the fact that others have mentioned the need for connection (and trying to get past the stigma of being a bloke who just wants a shag) is something that I hope will help us. I think my wife is a goddess and hope one day she might see herself (in some small way) in the same way I do.
Yes my husband would be similar, he would want to forego a HJ if im not also having an O. I honesty dont mind, im sure your wife is the same, and we women do like a little bit of a feeling of pawer and that we have satisfied our husbands 
I second this. Some power to women goes a long way. Edging with HJ, denial and spankings in between 
Do you get the kicker of your wife telling you she was horny last night but… Or the you were on a promise until X?
So on top of “nagging” you can find you missed your shot because she didn’t say anything or initiate anything?
Hi there,
I posted under a different topic, but gives some context of my/our journey over the last 2 years, and more recent months.
We haven’t come out the other side yet, but I am hopeful. But I have found the lack of intimacy, the feeling of rejection, and the resulting bitterness quite challenging. I found it hard not to let it impact my behaviours (thankfully being very self aware helped avoid most of this). I spent 18 months I’m self reflection and study mode, reading, understanding all aspects of healthy relationships. Then about 2 months ago I opened a conversation up with conversation with my wife on our need for improved communications, intimacy, and the need to work on our marriage separate to our strong family (I view the marriage / family dynamic as separate but intrinsically linked). She was open / honest, and tbf was not consciously aware of the impact of her behaviours. I’ve also started some self experimenting / exploring as an aside - again from info / experiences here.
We’ve still A LONG way to go, but I’m hopeful at least.
Bit of a ramble, no idea if it helps, but best of luck. The people and information on this forum are amazing!!
No, my wife would never say anything ahead of time. It’s purely spur of the moment.
@CurvyCandy2 Same thing happened again yesterday morning - amazing HJ for me (got a bit carried away if I’m honest and started subconsciously thrusting, which in hindsight I absolutely loved). Also, apologies if this is too much info, this time my wife carried on until the end and I came on my chest and belly, which was also a thrill. I think it’s now become something of a favourite, so I’m hoping to do so again. I still did feel guilty though and did try to mention it to my wife that I felt selfish, but she said it was fine and didn’t really want to talk about it further. Quite difficult as on the one hand (no pun intended) I absolutely loved it, but on the other felt (again) guilty that I’m left feeling satisfied, whereas she didn’t have the opportunity. I appreciate she might be enjoying it, it’s just hard to not feel like I’m being a selfish git.
I really do want to say thanks to all who are responding - as I say, my wife isn’t really one to communicate about this area of our relationship, so I appreciate having a forum (in every sense of the word) to discuss and try to understand / not get too hung up about things.
Fantastic! Little steps and Hopefully things can progress, keep talking and being open. If things go well you could even spice a HJ up. In the meantime at least you’re having that little bit if intimacy.
As someone else suggested, mutual masturbation can be beneficial if there is consent and agreement between the partners. In mutual masturbation, both partners are in the same room when it occurs. The partners may participate in each other’s masturbation, or each partner may just face each other and masturbate separately. In the participation scenario, the partners will be lying on the bed side by side. The man would turn his head towards the woman and lick and/or suck her nipple. He could massage her breasts and kiss her and touch her sensitive zones. The woman could reach over to the man’s penis and stroke it tenderly. She could also use a bullet vibrator to stimulate her clitoris. The man could also aid in the orgasm by tracing a bullet vibrator in a circle around her clitoris, either with the clitoral hood in place or with the clitoral hood pulled back. A laptop could be placed on the bed with an erotic video playing on the laptop, or the video could be playing on the TV in the room. For the orgasm climax, the woman could use clitoral stimulation to orgasm. The man could use penis stroking to climax and ejaculate. Therapists recommend mutual masturbation to build intimacy in the couple, and it also allows the couple to learn the best arousal methods for both partners.