digital (finger) sex by the guy on girl

Sex Tips & Talk
1

Would really appreciate some advice on this.

Over 14 years of a very active and largely fulfilling sex life with my wife for whatever reason there is an area we have barely ever explored. Not a particularly niche area at all in fact something which many couples seem to tend to experience very early on in their relationships, probably before they even get down to regular sex. This is, wait for it...me fingering my good lady inside the vagina (pretty vanilla huh:(

We've enjoyed regular sex for many years and my OH has always enjoyed and frequently orgasms through finger stimulation of her clitorus however for whatever reason she has always HATED having fingers inside her. This is to the point that if I ever try in the heat of passion to make a move in this direction it irritates her and she gets grouchy, and kind of looks at me as if to say, "what the f*** are you doing that for/does nothing for me"

Anyone ever experienced this?

I would one day like to work up to g spot stimulation and work towards the holy grail of making her squirt as one of those things on the bucket list. Is it just something I have to give up on? Is there a way to work her up to this? Or to even convince her of the potential benefits of at least beginning to explore this area?

2

surely you should be posing the question to yoru wife? ' what is it you don't like?'

There's a good guide somewhere to Yoni massage, part of which includes the internal massage. I know that JJ doesnt always like G spot finger massage, that can depend on mood, but often working on the different internal hotspots will have better reception.....

3

I personally hate fingers inside me, it's a real turn off.

If she really hates it I don't know how you could persuade her otherwise.

I can squirt by clitoral stimulation thankfully. Maybe thats something you could try instead.

4

Heatseekher wrote:

surely you should be posing the question to yoru wife? ' what is it you don't like?'

There's a good guide somewhere to Yoni massage, part of which includes the internal massage. I know that JJ doesnt always like G spot finger massage, that can depend on mood, but often working on the different internal hotspots will have better reception.....

Having read these forums for a long time, I can say 99% of the time this is exactly my reaction to other peoples threads ie why post on here when you could be talking to the OH about your problem!

Well, I guess like me people in most cases have tried that before they bring the matter to the boards, without success. Just cant seem to find an approach that makes the idea seem appealing to her!

I guess I'm really wondering if a couple have been through the issue and can tell me how they resolved it.

Thanks for the Yoni suggestion though fella. Not a term I've heard before but has opened up a new line of research, allsorts on google about Yoni we can maybe have a read of together as a couple, cheers

5

delilahxx wrote:

I personally hate fingers inside me, it's a real turn off.

If she really hates it I don't know how you could persuade her otherwise.

I can squirt by clitoral stimulation thankfully. Maybe thats something you could try instead.

Maybe some ladies just arent made for it! Would love to help her achieve a clitoral squirt. All the advice you read about squirting tends to focus on internal massage however. Any sources that focus on a clit induced squirt? Or just any general advice you could share delilahxx?

6

If anyone tries to focus on me squirting, I now hold it in. There is nothing more frustrating than being used to be someone's fantasy or to make me squirt for their own pleasure, just to tick it off some sort of list.

Focus on what she DOES like and you may be surprised that one day she will squirt without feeling under any pressure to do so, or to do something she dislikes, ie the fingers!

7

I hope you don't think I'm being rude here, but I don't think that some ladies "aren't made for it".

I actually was in this position myself, I've had two previous partners who have "fingered" me, but all they were doing is keeping their fingers stiff, and thrusting them inside me really fast!! Because this was two experiences and I wasn't that experienced. I just thought oh crap, why do people like this, it's horrible! Even when I met my husband, I didn't want his fingers anywhere near my insides, but I didn't tell him, and eventually it happened and I really enjoyed it!

I think all women have the capacity to enjoy it, but you need to take things really really slowly. If this is something she doesn't like, chances are she's not going to be mentally turned on. The majority of a woman's arousal comes from the brain, if our brains aren't in the right frame of mine then neither are our bodies. You need to make sure she's really aroused, and then try it out. However, you will need to tell her what you want to do. Tell her you just want to learn how to please her. Communication is key.

You should start by using a lot of lubricant. If she's not turned on and she's got fingers thrusting in and out she's doing to get dry really fast, which will makes things even more uncomfortable! Make sure you've got very short nails! Nothing worse than a nail catching your insides! Then when enter her do it very slowly, the "come hither" motion always works a treat on me! But you need to go very slow and ask her if she likes the feeling of it, ask her to guide you and let you know what she likes and what she doesn't like.

But more importantly if she's not liking it at all, stop, and forget about it. You can't force someone to like something, and of she doesn't like it after this attempt, she's not going to like it. And trying it over and over again because it's something you want to do, is going to be more and more off putting to her.

Just try and take things slow, use lube, and make sure you communicate.

Good luck :)

8

MrsMcX wrote:

I hope you don't think I'm being rude here, but I don't think that some ladies "aren't made for it".

I actually was in this position myself, I've had two previous partners who have "fingered" me, but all they were doing is keeping their fingers stiff, and thrusting them inside me really fast!! Because this was two experiences and I wasn't that experienced. I just thought oh crap, why do people like this, it's horrible! Even when I met my husband, I didn't want his fingers anywhere near my insides, but I didn't tell him, and eventually it happened and I really enjoyed it!

I think all women have the capacity to enjoy it, but you need to take things really really slowly. If this is something she doesn't like, chances are she's not going to be mentally turned on. The majority of a woman's arousal comes from the brain, if our brains aren't in the right frame of mine then neither are our bodies. You need to make sure she's really aroused, and then try it out. However, you will need to tell her what you want to do. Tell her you just want to learn how to please her. Communication is key.

You should start by using a lot of lubricant. If she's not turned on and she's got fingers thrusting in and out she's doing to get dry really fast, which will makes things even more uncomfortable! Make sure you've got very short nails! Nothing worse than a nail catching your insides! Then when enter her do it very slowly, the "come hither" motion always works a treat on me! But you need to go very slow and ask her if she likes the feeling of it, ask her to guide you and let you know what she likes and what she doesn't like.

But more importantly if she's not liking it at all, stop, and forget about it. You can't force someone to like something, and of she doesn't like it after this attempt, she's not going to like it. And trying it over and over again because it's something you want to do, is going to be more and more off putting to her.

Just try and take things slow, use lube, and make sure you communicate.

Good luck :)

Thanks MrsMCx. Exactly what I was wondering - if a person can go from not liking it to liking it obviously provided that the mood and circumstances are right. Great advice too on how to approach this to. I really appreciate it.

The point isnt for my bucket list and that was a daft phrase to use. The object is to improve OUR sex life. For her enjoyment mostly rather than mine.

9

That's good to hear. It's actually quite refreshing hearing a man wanting to please his woman! Best of luck :)

10

have to say during foreplay, not keen on this. It does nothing for me.

neither does spanking which I keep telling him but he still tries lol

11

MrsMcX wrote:

I hope you don't think I'm being rude here, but I don't think that some ladies "aren't made for it".

I actually was in this position myself, I've had two previous partners who have "fingered" me, but all they were doing is keeping their fingers stiff, and thrusting them inside me really fast!! Because this was two experiences and I wasn't that experienced. I just thought oh crap, why do people like this, it's horrible! Even when I met my husband, I didn't want his fingers anywhere near my insides, but I didn't tell him, and eventually it happened and I really enjoyed it!

I think all women have the capacity to enjoy it, but you need to take things really really slowly. If this is something she doesn't like, chances are she's not going to be mentally turned on. The majority of a woman's arousal comes from the brain, if our brains aren't in the right frame of mine then neither are our bodies. You need to make sure she's really aroused, and then try it out. However, you will need to tell her what you want to do. Tell her you just want to learn how to please her. Communication is key.

You should start by using a lot of lubricant. If she's not turned on and she's got fingers thrusting in and out she's doing to get dry really fast, which will makes things even more uncomfortable! Make sure you've got very short nails! Nothing worse than a nail catching your insides! Then when enter her do it very slowly, the "come hither" motion always works a treat on me! But you need to go very slow and ask her if she likes the feeling of it, ask her to guide you and let you know what she likes and what she doesn't like.

But more importantly if she's not liking it at all, stop, and forget about it. You can't force someone to like something, and of she doesn't like it after this attempt, she's not going to like it. And trying it over and over again because it's something you want to do, is going to be more and more off putting to her.

Just try and take things slow, use lube, and make sure you communicate.

Good luck :)

+1 totally agreed communicating and trying is the only way.