So to start off the wife and I have great sex but we don’t use a lot of toys but we do have a dildo a but plug and a vibrating cock ring which she loves, but when I suggest using the dildo on her she always says she doesn’t fancy it which I find strange because it’s the same size as me and has some good vibrations on it and the first time we used it she loved it. Ive suggested it a few times now and got the same response so the other day i asked her why. This was her response she loves the dildo but she loves the first time I slide in and do the first stretch of her so she wants me more. She said if the dildo goes in first and does the fist stretch then when I go in after she doesn’t get that feeling and it doesn’t feel the same and she misses that. I know it’s a good thing her wanting me more lol but I also like to play with toys and maybe get more . Any one else find this ?
I can’t say i’ve ever found that or felt that way before. In terms of a overall preference I like the real thing better but mainly for the aspects of it being attached to a person. If it’s a choice of my OH using a toy or his penis on me I don’t really have a preference for one over the other or a preferred order. I suggest offering to go first then stoping to use the dildo as a in between to change things up.
I completely know what she means. That initial entering is such an incredible feeling - I’m not quite sure how to explain it but it’s just real good. The human contact is possibly what she’s craving too, particularly if you’ve been more inclined to use toys recently.
I’d suggest getting a vibrator that you/she could use clitorally, whilst you are penetrating her. This would then incorporate a mixture of what you are both wanting. You could always use the dildo after penetrative sex too if shes happy with that.
@Happilymarriedman84 like @Enchantress29 says my OH is just the same as this. If it’s something she doesn’t want you just need to accept that no matter if you like using it. Maybe she feels embarrassed if she shows she likes it during use with you? Would she use it in her own during self play do you think? If so maybe let her go with that for a while and ask her sometime about how it was and how much it turns you on. You have a great sex life anyway so even if you binned it would it be such a great loss?
Similar with my OH. I’ve suggested a dildo before but she’s said she just wants me. She’s never used a dildo before. I would love for her / us to try a dildo on her as I think she’d love it and I know I would love seeing her use it but usually when I suggest something it’s greeted with a shy ‘go on then’ whereas the Dildo was a “no, not for me” so I have to respect what she’s said.
With that said and completely contradicting myself, I’m itching to ask her about trying a dildo gag on me but doubt I ever will pluck up the courage.
Cheers everyone cheers for the responses. Yeah we’ve talked about it and I would never pressure her, she’s not really up for self play for some reason and I’ve tried to get her to play when I’ve worked away but she doesn’t feel the need. she’s reserved about playing and trying new things to be honest and doesn’t really start the play I’m always the one that starts it but then when we are doing it she loves it. So not sure lol
Yes, exactly 
I can climax with a few of my toys just on this feeling alone. Way before it’s all the way in. Ones with large heads…mmmm.
Can it also the material/firmness of the toy? I much prefer toys with a bit of squish for that feeling. You mentioned that the toy you have is the same size as you. What about getting a different size dildo to play with? Maybe she can get that stretch feeling more than once? If she started with a smaller dildo, and then you came in after. Or maybe an even bigger dildo after you?
Hi, I totally get what your wife means - his penis feels so much better than anything else - I’d always choose him over a dildo. The only thing that I do like toy wise before his penis is a small glass dildo - it feels completely different and, because it’s small I still get the stretching sensation from his penis.
You mentioned that you have a butt plug, does your wife enjoy that? Might trying a different plug or anal toy be an option for both of you?
Maybe ask your wife if there is something different that she would like to try, maybe she will come up with something that you haven’t thought of?
That’s probably an upbringing thing. Young women are pretty much taught “boys masturbate, girls don’t”. Obviously that’s wrong (and damaging) but it isn’t always something people can change overnight. Experimenting with the toys together and giving her some time may change this though. Let her know you are fine with her playing by herself but don’t push the subject.
As others have said, why not look for some toys that aren’t designed for penetration. There are loads of options, why not have a look through the site together.
Penetrative sex doesn’t have to be the finishing point for sex either. And you don’t have to continue with penetration until you finish either.
I have to say that for me my dildo is for solo play or when using it whilst giving my OH a BJ and simulating a spit roast. I also agree that that first penetration is great from my mans penis. The dildo is definitely not the same at all.
Cheers everyone yeah we’ve looked through the site together. She just never really active in looking for stuff or talking about it. We did have a long conversation the other week about just having fun with each other and that we aren’t hurting anyone in trying new things with each other and that I would never laugh or go funny about trying different things. I said I was open about anything. I would like to see her take a bigger dildo and see how she reacted to a fuller cock lol but that would defo be a no no from her which is good for my size lol even tho I would say I’m average and never had any complaints back in the day lol. Slowly slowly I think the way forward is as our sex is great think it’s just me trying to bring new stuff into the mix.it’s not that I wanted to replace me I just want to play with her first with it and watch her cum for a little bit then I can slide on in lol