Hello everyone, I have a question for you
My wife and I have been using sex toys for the past few years. The questions are as follows, when we used to have sex she would always put my fingers in her mouth, she loves using a butt plug, when I first bought a dildo she immediately said that if I want her to put it in her ass, and I can put it in her vagina, does that all have any meaning? is she interested in a threesome? and I’m curious since she loves a butt plug and the feeling of “fulfillment” probably, is she ready for a bigger and wider dildo, the one we’re using now is a standard size, but I have to mention that she has never taken a dildo on her own initiative, she always uses it when I mention it
That wouldn’t immediately suggest she wants a threesome to me. Sometimes it’s just that if some = good, then more = better.
Have you considered just asking?
Easiest way to find out all of the answers to this and everything else is to talk over a drink and dessert
Hello and welcome. As a non-monogamous woman my answer sort of ticks all available answers here, but I’m going to say “not necessarily”.
Men, as you well know, only have one penis, so what better than to feel fulfilled without all of the extra parts of an extra man? Non-monogamy usually comes with other feelings: a desire to feel desired, or an awareness of an ability to love more than one person, namely. If she wants to explore a threesome, and you’d be up for that, then by all means talk about it, but I wouldn’t assume her wanting to feel full means she wants more than one man. I use butt plugs with my husband sometimes, but at least in that moment, my focus is still on him.
All the best to you both ![]()
Hello and welcome to the forum!
Only way to know for sure is to ask and talk about it. Exploring with toys, sensation, sex acts, et cetera are all, on their own, still very clearly on one side of a line before you get to adding more people to your play.
And also a huge distinction between “fantasy” and “desire.”
I enjoy being pegged but I’m not interested in having sex with another man.
My wife enjoys DP (dildo in vagina + anal sex), and often a dildo in her mouth, while I dirty talk to her about a group scenario and being used, filled, airtight. It’s a fantasy exercise that gets her so heated up to cum. We are not in any way interested in dealing with the consequences of adding a third (or more) people to our bedroom.
Best time to inquire on such things is not in the heat of the moment, but some other time when quite relaxed and free from other distractions without the pressure of the bedroom. Alternately, I do find it can be helpful after sex to pose some questions toward the purpose of debriefing the experience. “I noticed x when we did y and it got me thinking about z…” can definitely be a way to do it, especially once you’ve managed all aftercare needs and it’s not feeling like a piling on before the afterglow has even settled.
Only way to really find these answers out is to simply ask her
but initially just cause someone enjoys vaginal and anal play together doesn’t have to mean they want a threesome ![]()
Food for thought; Some women want a dildo, but not necessarily another man. That’s the misconception amongst a lot of men.
And welcome to the forum ![]()
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Thank you all for anwsers and warm welcome
What do you think about buying a new, bigger dildo? The one we’re using now is 5.5 inches long and 4.7 inches girth and she can insert it easily. I can’t ask her if she wants one because I’ve never asked about sex toys, and she always uses them when I buy them. Maybe she’ll like the feel of a thicker dildo and enjoy it more?
Sit down and look through the toys available together. It might be a hot night if you do.
It doesn’t necessarily mean she wants a threesome. My wife enjoys having multiple holes filled and there’s certainly a fantasy there, but bringing in a third isn’t something she’s open to. We’ve left the door open for that to change in the future, but for now we just enjoy our toys.
I co-sign on the idea of inviting shopping for toys together. Helpful if you have an anniversary, birthday, or getaway coming up and say you want to pick out something fun together for that specific event.
Wife and I have done that enough that I will sometimes send her the link to a cart full of ideas and ask her opinion that way, and I also know her preferences now (through the conversations over 20 years together and about 10 years really diving into the toy options) that I can pick out surprises of new things she might like.
It does have a meaning.
Pretty explicit.
She wants either of the dildo or you in her arse, and the other in her pussy.
She hasn’t mentioned a threesome, so sounds like you’re reading between lines that probably weren’t written.
Nope
She probably loves feeling full and being with you. I love giving oral and having a dildo in at the same time but have no interest in involving another person.
Like has been said a toy is a toy you can put away and forget…a penis has an owner who can spill the beans. Be careful.
If you do ask her be careful how you word it and not in the bedroom.
As for a bigger dildo browse together and let her choose a new one.
I forgot to mention that she said right away that it was because of me, to make it feel tighter. Also when we used the butt plug she said it was definitely tighter and better for me. Do you think she’s justifying herself that way? In fact, she really enjoys it, but doesn’t want to admit it.
Ask her, stop second guessing. Have some bedroom after sex chatter, I really liked (a), you looked so sexy when we were doing (b) and just talk.