So a term that keeps demanding my attention lately (I.e. keeps appearing in various places) is finding you life and love and how one without the there leaves you disatisfied and incomplete. I understand life to mean purpose through work, hobbies etc and love to mean someone to love completely and love you back the same. I am strong so I keep going and continue with life but I have given up any hope of find love. I was always such a positive person but it becomes increasingly difficult without you don't have anyone to share experiences with, as well as the feeling that any time I start to be grateful for, enjoy something or look forward to something it sonehow gets taken away. So yes I definitely feel something is missing but I would also go so far as to I say I feel fundamental incomplete as a person knowing no-one will ever love me in a complete way.
AmyA. I can empathise completely with your feelings. I feel as if I have missed the boat somehow and know it’s probably too late for me now to meet someone and begin a relationship. I have watched as friends and family members seem to breeze through it. And I can’t get out of the starting block as it were. I don’t dwell on it otherwise it gets me down and I am enjoying my life but it does hurt watching people enjoying companionship, wondering why I find it impossible. Hope I don’t sound too miserable as I really am not. It’s good to talk : )
I’m so sorry to hear that Alicia, you’ve had a rotten time & deserve to have a nice life. I really hope life gets back on track for you. Very best wishes.
I also share this feeling like a lot of things are missing from my life. I'm healthy and I've a small family of my own, who a love so much and I'm sure they feel the same towards me. But, there are always buts, sometimes I feel like I don't belong in here, UK, where I've been living for 20 years, but I also don't feel like I've a home to go back to, even though I have.
I think life is made of choices and it was my choice to give up a career, marry a lovely guy, who is from a third country, and settle down here. I miss my other family, friends, food and the person I was before. However, when I was there, 20 years ago, I longed for someone to share my life with and I wasn't really happy being a career woman and single, I wanted more.
That somehow shows that I believe to certaim extension is normal do feel like that because reality is life is full of ups and downs, it's not easy for anyone. When I feel really low, I try to concentrate on the moment and be grateful for what I've instead of what I could have. That helps me a lot, kinda put things in perspective. I'm not able to have a long term plan because that stresses me out, I try to take one day at the time. And I try really hard to look in the mirror, breathe, smile and keep going ahead because people I love rely on me.
Ah guys, this thread just gets more upsetting. What a lot of ‘incomplete’ people we are here.
Alicia and Lu.
Sorry to read about your unhappiness. I do hope things get better for you in some way.
Hugs and kisses.
Thanks Knight, it's so good to have comfort and lovely friends like yourself to confide in on here. x
AmyA and 10spdee,
I'm so sorry you both have to feel you need to give up in the 'finding love and companionship' side of things. I did this at one point, when I was 20. I thought no-one would ever love me due to my 'secret' (back then) mental issues, in which I'd always tried to hide the 'monster' side. 😵
I can't believe someone, who I think is gorgeous, actually wanted to be with me, love me and live with me for the rest of our lives!! I still don't, because I can be a moody b**ch sometimes.
He didn't even really know what he was in for, as I had to explain some upsetting events that had happened to me years before, so I owe everything to him.
Please don't give up, I always found some element of hope even when I was at the bottom of the pit with my depression.😇
From talking to you both on here, how could someone not love either of you, or want to be with you.
Amy was my first friend on here and took me under her beautiful wing. x 🦋 🌹 🕊
So sorry to hear so many of you are having problems with life. But many of the earlier replies to this problem are correct. You must try and stay positive in everything you do, and have some of you have said give yourself small goals to achieve.
Many years ago John Cleese used to own and run a company that taught people how to solve problems, this was mainly in the business world, but you can use the same technics to your own private lives. One of the main things in tackling problems is to not look at the big problem, but to cut it down into small pieces, or as he used to say, bite size pieces. It’s like eating a meal, you don’t shove the whole lot down your throat in one go, you take one piece at a time and eventually you clear your plate. It’s a very easy conception but believe me, it works!
Leanne’s idea of writing something positive down each and every day is an old and trusty idea and one that works. Positivity must came from within yourselves, other people can help, but it is you that must start the process. I am a positive person, I always try and find a positive from a negative. I was working down in our lower garden the other day and found that I had messed up the sizing of some tiles I was putting down the road. 4 days of hard work ruined, a waste of time. I stepped away and recalculated my plans and idea’s and have now come up with a much better plan that both works and looks better.
My other small thing that I use as a positive, is to try and be polite to people. I always smile and say to them good morning/afternoon/evening when I meet them, and ask them how they and their spouses/partners are, and generally listen intensely to their answers when they talk back. Many people have said to me how do you always stay so positive, and that’s from someone who actually looks miserable, but very rarely is. I am also very polite to people, I say thank you to everything, and I am one of the old school, of opening doors for women, and holding them for the next person to hold when they get to the door, not this walk through it and let it swing and hit the next person coming behind you. And the good thing is, none of this politeness costs me a penny! So try saying good morning to everyone you see today, and see if they respond positively? Most people will smile back and say good morning back to you. And that is a positive.
Have a good day folks! 