I've just been reading a story on the Daily Fail website (I secretly just really love reading all the comments!!).
Basically, a husband made a list of all of the reasons over a six week period why his wife wouldn't have sex with him. They actually only had sex three times in six weeks!
This is the story - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2699651/Not-tonight-dear-I-m-tried-gross-sick-drunk-Frustrated-husband-creates-spreadsheet-detailing-different-reasons-wife-not-sex-him.html#article-2699651
The husband then emailed the spreadsheet to his wife, which I thought was maybe a tad too much, and he should have just spoke to her.
However, I also think that her excuses are just a load of crap, and seeing that they're both only 26-years-old and their sex life is that limited is such a huge shock to me!
The comments on the article are insane! People are saying he's lucky to get it that much, and others are calling him a sex pest! I'm quite surprised at how much it has shocked me to be honest!
I know most people (not everyone) probably enjoy sex a lot, given the nature of this thread. But it has got me wondering, do people usually make up excuses?
Nope. If I'm not in the mood I can usually be made in the mood quite quickly. Same for the OH if he's not in the mood. He'll just say so. I'll use toys he joins in a few minutes later.
I see no need in making up excuses. What shocked me when I read that is how childish they are, if you don't want sex just say so. If you're bothered about it communicate like adults.
If i'm not in the mood (which is a rarity, I have to say) then I will just say "I'm not in the mood tonight". It'll usually be because i'm too hot/tired. With the OH - I can usually read when he's not in the mood, so have learnt not to try. But we've never made up any excuses - and would certainly never go as far as to document it! That seems a bit crazy.
But also, it's the Daily Fail - any story they post, I take with a pinch of salt. Most of their 'sensational' stories are usually debunked as hoaxes!
I think I just presume that people only go through this sort of thing when they're in their 40's or 50'a but to see that a couple the same age as us is going through this just makes me feel so sad inside. But from reading the comments it seems like a lot of people are siding with the woman.
Don't get me wrong, he didn't handle it well at all and he should have just spoke with her, but I kind of see where he's coming from. If he's constantly getting these lame excuses then maybe she did need to see how pathetic they were in black and white.
That's also very true David, it could be a hoax, but I think the comments from others speak for themselves. I didn't realise so many people just don't seem to enjoy sex! Sex is amazing! I just don't understand it!
I think I just presume that people only go through this sort of thing when they're in their 40's or 50'a but to see that a couple the same age as us is going through this just makes me feel so sad inside. But from reading the comments it seems like a lot of people are siding with the woman.
Don't get me wrong, he didn't handle it well at all and he should have just spoke with her, but I kind of see where he's coming from. If he's constantly getting these lame excuses then maybe she did need to see how pathetic they were in black and white.
That's also very true David, it could be a hoax, but I think the comments from others speak for themselves. I didn't realise so many people just don't seem to enjoy sex! Sex is amazing! I just don't understand it!
im 32 almost 33 and I only just found my libido again.
dunno why it went or how i found it but i enjoy sex so much more now!
If I don't want sex I just say so! This sounds like a relationship in trouble. His concerns are legitimate, but the way he confronted it is so immature, passive-aggressive and frankly pathetic. If he behaves like that with his wife all the time I don't blame her for not wanting to sleep with him.
I think everyone at some time or another , no matter what just doesnt feel in the mood , having to make up excusses , will just make any issues worse
We all get frustrated at points our sex lives ebb and flow up and down, I cant see how his actions are intended to help the situation , or is he just looking to justify a devoice?
Maybe if he had spent the time talking,helping and and actually paying attention to his wife instead of on exel spread sheet he wouldnt be in this position ?
I am crazy about my wife ( rightly so)and I am always teasing her by email skype and text about what I want and would like to do to her, but I dont feel the urge sometimes dispite our/my plans, and neither will she , but I would never lie! and hope she has enough confidence in our relashionship to simply be able to say no not tonight !
I beleive the worst think you could do would be to pressure or emtionally pressure some one into allowing sex , just for the sake of it , theres no point ! it will set up resentment, and rot any relashionship .
I do think the husband was a bit harsh. Definitely should of sat down and had a discussion instead of being hurtful and saying that he won't miss her. It does come across that he is a bit of a jerk.
If I'm not in the mood I will just say so. When hubby and I first bought our house together 3 years ago, we had sex in every room but that soon died down as we were very busy and there was a period of around 3/4 weeks where we didn't have sex! (I was 22 and he was 27 at the time). If he sent me something like this I would be mortified and extremely upset.
I think I just presume that people only go through this sort of thing when they're in their 40's or 50'a but to see that a couple the same age as us is going through this just makes me feel so sad inside. But from reading the comments it seems like a lot of people are siding with the woman.
Don't get me wrong, he didn't handle it well at all and he should have just spoke with her, but I kind of see where he's coming from. If he's constantly getting these lame excuses then maybe she did need to see how pathetic they were in black and white.
That's also very true David, it could be a hoax, but I think the comments from others speak for themselves. I didn't realise so many people just don't seem to enjoy sex! Sex is amazing! I just don't understand it!
Just sums up your average daily fail reader!
To be honest, every relationship is different. Some are heavily sex-focused, others aren't. When you have clashes like this, there's obviously a disconnect in the relationship somewhere - they obviously want different things - the fact he's felt he needs to record a list and then publish it, speaks more about him then it does her!
I'm a self confessed sex pest. I regularly hunt my OH down like prey and corner him in order to get sex, he regularly uses the excuse that he can't hear me because he needs his ears cleaning, he's hungry, he's just eaten, he had sex with me while I was asleep so has no cum.
Its all in good fun and we have always had a very active sex life, but being 22 years younger I have a larger sex drive, but I'm never left wanting unless he's doing it on purpose to turture me!
I'm a self confessed sex pest. I regularly hunt my OH down like prey and corner him in order to get sex, he regularly uses the excuse that he can't hear me because he needs his ears cleaning, he's hungry, he's just eaten, he had sex with me while I was asleep so has no cum.
Its all in good fun and we have always had a very active sex life, but being 22 years younger I have a larger sex drive, but I'm never left wanting unless he's doing it on purpose to turture me!
poor guy.
because he needs his ears cleaning?
and because he had sex with you while you were asleep?
weirdest excuses ever! lol
I can safely say I dont think my hubby has EVER turned my advances down lol
I'm a self confessed sex pest. I regularly hunt my OH down like prey and corner him in order to get sex, he regularly uses the excuse that he can't hear me because he needs his ears cleaning, he's hungry, he's just eaten, he had sex with me while I was asleep so has no cum.
Its all in good fun and we have always had a very active sex life, but being 22 years younger I have a larger sex drive, but I'm never left wanting unless he's doing it on purpose to turture me!
poor guy.
because he needs his ears cleaning?
and because he had sex with you while you were asleep?
weirdest excuses ever! lol
I can safely say I dont think my hubby has EVER turned my advances down lol
Yep! Either that or he just runs and I have to pin him down or pull his pants down while he's running upstairs. It's just become a game really. We have clear ideas of how to deal with things and if either of us was actually bothered it's discussed properly, I know when he's playing and when he's upset with work or stressed out and genuinely doesn't want it.
the ear cleaning thing is because he loves me cleaning his ears, I have no idea how it started but now every time I touch his ear he shouts YEAH and jumps on his side with the biggest smile ever lol.
I think there's always one in a relationship with a higher sex drive, I never have and never will turn down any advance from my OH it's rare and exciting :D
This sounds like it is already destined to be a sexless relationship!
My wife and I have friends who have no sex whatsoever with their other halves, couples in their late thirties and forties. It tends not to be by mutual decision and I regularly have friends tell me their wife is just not interested in sex at all. Similarly my wife says she has female friends that either show no interest in sex with their partners, or they are bitterly dissapointed with the lack of sex in their lives, it seems to be one of those two extremes.
Ironically, every single one of our female friends has read the 50 Shades books, yet they are not interested in sex with their husbands? One particular male friend of mine told my wife and I that he snapped at his wife one night when she was sitting in bed reading 50 Shades and they had not had sex in almost a year, and she was not showing any signs of ending the dry spell!
The young couple in that newspaper article will only get worse unless she changes drastically or he just stops wanting to have sex with her . . . . but that seems very sad for him. I think some men would perhaps try a little longer with her and then eventually the relationship will end. If it is the woman's decision to reject him constantly, why would he live in a sexless relationship? You only get one life, so why spend it with someone who shows no interest in a perfectly healthy sex life with you?
I've yet to meet a couple where the lack of sex is a mutual decison. Normally one person alone is the cause and it can end otherwise good relationships. Many of our married friends are actually very dissatisfied with their sex lives, and it just seems very sad and unfair to us. Each to their own, I suppose, but if it makes someone in the relationship feel miserable, unwanted and rejected, can that really be a good thing?