Hi there, I’m just curious as to whether this is just me, or if others feel this way too during anal... I’m not new to anal, but it’s not our regular way of making love either. One reason we don’t do it more regularly is that whenever we have it, I usually feel like I’m either about to poo or am pooing. I never am actually pooing and never have during it or immediately after- even if I go to the loo to try. The sensation of my partner thrusting inside me makes me feel like I’m desperate for a poo and so never really fully enjoy the actual doing of it as much as I love the idea. We use plenty of lube and it’s never painful, but I always end up asking him to hurry up and finish because of this sensation. We are both very open and relaxed with “stuff going wrong” so I wouldn’t be embarrassed if I did have a slight accident during it and I’m not ashamed to talk openly with him about it. Does anyone else feel like that or do you have any advice for me?
Hi! At first it felt like that for me too, but I've ''trained'' my mind so it rarely ever feels like I have to poop during anal. I think it's normal to feel like you need to go #2 because when you have something in your bum it's usually poo !(upload://5BDs2y1gm13l2R58ovmAMxyNM3f.gif)
How about doing some anal play when masturbating, so that you get more used to the sensation? This way you can relax even more since you don't have to think and worry about your partner's pleasure. You can use a toy that is smaller than a penis and (if you want to) gradually go up in size.
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16053 small size, good for beginners
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28501 small, vibrates
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=4667 easy to hold, can also be used for double penetration
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=32887 might be slightly big to begin with, but I love having it in during play/ sex
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=24636 these give me the strongest ''I need to poop'' sensation, so definitely good for training.
I agree with Smultron, I used to get the sensation of needing to poo too and I really do think it is just your mind automatically goes to establish association - something in your bum = needing to poo. The more regularly you give your brain an alternative association the quicker it gets 'trained' I rarely get that feeling now.
Thank you all for your thoughts and suggestions- that’s been a relief to hear it isn’t just me and that it’s normal. I think I just need to get over it and try to resist the urge to stop. Anal is something we both really enjoy, and I do love it until about halfway through when I start getting this feeling, so I think I’ll try to do it more regularly (why my Mr certainly won’t be complaining about) to get used to the sensation and try to look past it. The idea of more anal play is a good idea for when I masturbate (which is something I very rarely do anyway) but I could certainly do it with my OH and enjoy it together. Thank you all for your experiences and advice, it’s been really useful reading what you’ve got to say and reassuring. Xx
Hi loving it
I he thrusting hard? That makes the feeling worse. Best to get used to the feeling of something static in there first for a while like a plug and then get used to the feeling. Or go very slow. try DP with a plug in and see if that changes the feeling.
I would second every one elses comments. Nice bunch on here!
Thanks for your reply illtakethehighroad, the idea of having something static in there first to get used to the sensation is a good one. Recently when we’ve been having regular sex I’ve got him to slip one and then more fingers in my bum, which I like and haven’t had the same sensation of feeling like I’m about to poo. I haven’t asked him for anal for ages (it doesn’t happen unless I ask- he says he doesn’t ask because he wouldn’t want me to do it unless I wanted to and he figures if I ask then I must want it). I don’t think he thrusts too hard, I think it’s just a case of having the sensation of movement in there at all is what causes me to feel that way. I think I’ll ask for anal again soon and see how I get on with everyone’s advice of toys first and then trying to not focus on the sensation of pooing and see if I can move past it. Everyone has been so great in their ideas and thoughtful advice, I’m really grateful. X
I agree with what other posters are saying! I highly recommend you wear a plug! At first it feels weird but the longer you keep it in the more you get used to it. This and douching made me feel a lot more relaxed for anal 😊
Hi loving it.
If fingers in feel okay then yes almost certain its the thrusting feeling thats causing it. I would recomend introducing a butt plug, trying it during sex and then get used the feelling of gently pulling on it. That will pull the bulb against your sphincter and get you used to the feeling more. Anal beads might help as well as they pop out when pulled. Means more foreplay but that justs means a longer session!
Also you could get him to pause inside you for a long time, or thrust for a bit, stop and pause. No idea if that works but worth a try.
Funny how your OH feels about anal. I was the same for years as well, always thought i would like it. Tighter hole, naughty etc but thought my OH would hate it so would never have suggested it because it needs to be consensual. All lasses i knew who trried it told me it was meh, exs said straight yuck without me suggesting it, assumed only men like it, knew my OH would hate the idea and had exs try it without asking, So never mentioned it. Came on here looking for lingerie and other things to spice up post kids sex life. See the sheer amount of bum products.which piqued my interest. came on forums to see both lads and lasses all saying how good it felt.
Completely opened my mind and realised how much i had missed out. Showed my OH forums (and she grew up in a household where going to the toilet and wiping your arse was a embarasing dirty taboo let alone sex) and she is still very nervous and squeamish but working on it slowly, just starting with touching and plugs, not got to full anal yet and not sure we will. whereas i am a complete convert and very open minded now.
I would be honest with your OH, tell him you like it and you are happy for him to suggest it as long as you are in the mood you will be up for doing it. Nothing to be ashamed about and its nice to work getting past the thoses feeling together.
Lastly quite right about the people on here. I assumed it would be like the rest of the internet, full of trolls and people frothing at the mouth. I have asked similar questions to yourself. Everyone has been lovelly. Its the only forum i bother posting on!
Hi Loving it,
Yes, this is quite a common feeling, and yes, you need to retrain your brain a little.
illtakethehighroad suggested you could get him to pause for a while or thrust stop and pause, and I can recommend trying this. Even today, with as much anal as we have, I sometimes get him to slow down if he's getting too big. If he pauses, it gives your bum a chance to fully accomodate his size before starting up again. Often he'll do small movement rather than stop completely, as we've found that keeps him harder.
With regard to your "hurry up I need to poo" thing, I'd try a little positive affirmation type approach. So instead of asking him to hurry up and finish, tell yourself that you don't need to poo, that it is your gorgeous man driving into your ass and that you love it and want it, all whilst he's carry on. Even if you only extend it by 30 seconds to start with (and still ask him to stop), each time you get further will be a little nearer the goal. Hopefully thinking that will build a nice positive association with the feeling. Try to embrace the feeling, enjoy it, and let him carry on and see what happens. Fundamentally, it is not pain, so it is nothing to fear, and if you did actually poo, the thing to think is "so what?" - what would be the problem (given you say you don't have an issue with a little mess). I found positive thoughts, answering the negatives with practical answers and embracing what he was doing to my ass quickly helped me to move past these feelings.
Good luck hun xx
Thanks so much KinkyMira!! You’re all so kind and generous with your advice and support. I’m thinking it’ll be soon that I initiate anal again, we have the whole weekend off alone together so that might be a good opportunity xx
100% agreed that it is a mental connection. I definitely think a mantra/ positive thoughts are key. I never worry about mess, if he wants to "go there" he can run the risk 😂 it does amuse me however that he won't partake in VIP when I'm on my period but it always up for bum fun!
Thanks for your advice, Mrs.John- always good to hear others go through the same stuff xx
Yes I can confirm that I felt the same when we started to experiment with anal. The more that you practice the more relaxed you will get and this feeling will subside. Incidentally my husband also had this feeling when I started pegging him but also said that now he doesn’t feel it anymore. So keep at it and you will be fine.