Embarrasment at the Post Office

Sex Tips & Talk
61

Hey there

I just want to say a big thanks to everyone who has written- it has really helped calm my nerves/embarrasment, and also with coming up with what to say next time.

I dont personally thing this lady behind the counter actually had much at fault. It felt like she was asking a procedural question, rather then trying to be nosey. Backed up with what various people have said, that the rules have receintly changed, I dont actually hold a grudge against her- per say, she was just doing her job, and I firmly believe that, however it was just the situation and circomstances which I found so embarrasing- I was literally just struck dumb. I was unprepared (luckily, through this thread, people are hopefully not so now), and it was just too damn hot. It was hotter in that post office then it was outside, and I'd been queueing for a considerable amount of time. Also- whilst I do have a playful side, this town does have a generous proportion of old and retired residents- who also tend to come out at lunchtime, and actually saying anything blunt or rude would just have felt inappropriate. I would possibly have a quiet joke, if there wasn't anyone around, but just with that sort of audience- there was a large queue behind us now, it just wasn't right.

to Emu- It took a while to come to terms with buying online here, but I have now, and I do fully accept what I buy- on a personal level. However, telling complete strangers about your personal sex life- especially when they're not inviting it too (it's an honest question they apparently HAVE to ask now)- that is where a SITUATION does get embarrasing. Also, consider this- you may be fully comfortable around sex and BDSM, perhapse even in a more open or public enviromnent. But we all have to start somewhere, and a newbie buying their first small vibe might be highly embarrased about doing so. Doesn't mean they shouldnt, when sex is a basic animalistic need.

62

Long Time Cumiing wrote:

Well I've been to the Post Office this morning with my OH to return a lovehoney purchase that we decided wasn't for us.

The woman behind the counter asked exactly what this post is discussing, exactly what was in the box. I told her I was returning an unwanted gift and she still kept pestering. She asked the lady next to her if she could send packages without knowing the contents, proceeded to give me a pamflet and asked me if it was any of that stuff.

I told her no but she still asked what it was, I told her it was a personal item I didn't want to discuss and she told me without knowing the contents they can't send it.

I then asked her how much detail she needed and proceeded to explain that it was a 'personal toy' that I was returning. She accepted this answer, enquired about batteries and then sent the item for me. She also told me that the Post Office had a new policy that was initiated last Monday where they have to know the contents of every package that they send, else they can't send it.

We walked away discussing it and my OH told me she was tempted to just blurt out that it was a sex toy, or even be more discriptive and explain its exact use and functionality. I found this highly hilarous.

If this is true and the new Post Office policy is to ask, I vote all us LH users play a game that surrounds trying to embarass the Post Office staff by being as jaw droppingly discriptive as possible. Tell them it's a vibrator that didn't make you orgasm or handcuffs that dug into the headboard etc. See how embarrassed we can make them.

J

This sounds almost EXACTLY what happened to me. She kept insisting that she needed to know, and wouldnt take any other answer. She even gave me that same 'restricted items' leaflet too. I actually ended up saying that I would write it down for her, but I didn't want to say it outloud. I think she might have gotten the hint- I'd announced to her that it was 'personal', I didn't want to explain. I think she'd definatly figured it out though- and actually, that's the main thing which I'm still taking with me which I feel embarrased about.

I personally think there should be some oberly PC way of stating 'sex toy' that the post office would be happy with. 'Battery operated personal pleasure device' or some such. Because- and please dont think that I'm backing down- it seems that the post office now dont have any option but to ask- it is their job. I dont agree with purposfully going about trying to embarrass or humiliate the workers when we do need to make returns, yeah, have some fun in discussions and stuff- but in all honesty, they're just doing their job, its no doublt embarrasing enough as it is for them to have to need to pry now. The problem is, it's not the PO workers who have made the decision that everyone must ask- its the management. And embarrasing the workers, as amusing as it may be in the short run, wont actually help any in turning around or altering the new rules. An online game of 'embarras the post office staff' I think would be brilliant, given the situation- but (and I really dont mean to sound like a prude)- I don't think it should stretch to the real PO staff.

64

Cat Lady wrote:

Ugh, having found out about this, I am now seriously worried. I know I wouldn't handle being asked those kind of questions well so it will make me dubious about buying stuff in case it has to be returned. I was thinking of sending something to the Amnesty but not sure I want to now. So this new policy is a) putting me off spending money and b) putting me off recycling. Not good!

I think we are very much living in a Big Brother country now. Orwell was ahead of his time but he had a point!

Yeah, I get your concern- but I think there may be too many issues coming up generally publicly as a result of this 'need to know everything' policy the PO have now. I'm not saying that it wont stay around long- because they're the type of establishment where change doesn't necessarilly come fast- and isn't easily revoked, but I think the public may generally take too much offense/issue with this. I personally think- seeing as this change has come into place because of the potential for parcels to be sent abroad, that they may revert to the old 'any hazardous contents' with the definatly-ground moved parcels, staying within the country like our very own return parcels.

Dont get worried, please. The whole point of this threat was awareness- but also to allow people to figure out- in advance- what they need to say should this arise. Yeah, the whole idea now feels pretty unpleasant, but I really wouldn't let it play on your mind for only the potential of needing to return something. Lovehoney as a company pride themselves on offering a discreet and simple service. With awareness of this issue, I'm sure the big bods high up in LH are figuring things out to help us with this new obstical to discression.

But for now, remember this, my feline friend. Dont let it affect how you buy- if you want something, no lady sitting in a stuffy public office can tell you otherwise. If the need arrises that you must return something, then you have a variety of things to say- 'non expensive electronic device, no batteries' for a powered vibrator, 'clothing' for lingerie, even 'silicone sculpture' or '3D art' as someone else mentioned, for plugs and dildos. And, if you're really concerned about possibly getting into a situation where I was in, (but I would imagine an answer printed above would surfice for them), take a piece of paper with the contents discreetly written down. Dont overwrite or be overly detailed, but in the event that you should be flustered, and not able to come out with anything, you'll have something you can discreetly pass over.

(PS- you really shouldn't be sending money via the post anyway, but that's beside the point, lol)

65

I do understand what you mean Cat Lady, to me it also seems an invasion of privacy for them to ask what's in a package, and if your PO is anything like mine, it's small quiet and constantly packed with other people. I don't like the idea of having to tell them what's in my packages, wether it be sexual or not, because I honestly don't believe it's their buisness. I feel the same when I try to make an appointment to see the DR and the receptionist asks me why I want to see them and what the problem is, it's non of their buisness why I want to see the DR, and I let them know as much (In the politest way possible)

I believe in regards to the PO the need to know what's in a package is ridicilious as doesn't most packages sent abroad get scanned through customs anyways? So they can see what's in packages without every tom, dick and harry knowing what's in my packages because that's what would happen in the town I live in "I seen such abody at the post office and she was sending a vibrator through the post" Whilst it gets whispered around, also I'm quite sure (as I've heard my PO workers gossiping about customers) that they don't have the privacy protection and can blabber it around to other collegues whilst other customers hear what's being said.

However it's not going to put me off ordering anything and if the need arises returning it, I'll just bend the truth about what's in the package or quite possibly just lie about it, since I don't believe what I'm sending is any of their concern as long as I'm paying the right postage costs, and not sending any illegal/hazardous items it shouldn't be any of their buisness, but as you said Big Brother State. We'll soon be required to sign in and out of our own houses.

66

Afternoon Everybody!

I spoke to Royal Mail this morning who have told me that the rules and regulations changed in July, which means the Post Office may need to ask a question or two about any parcel that may be transported on a plane (even within the UK). The Civil Aviation Authorties have asked that they do this.

Despite this, the questions they should be asking are not open ones like 'what's in the box''! They should simply be asking about dangerous goods etc.

Royal Mail have agreed to send us some guidance which we will have on the site soon....I've only seen one other complaint like this so far, so I suspect it's simply one or two Postmasters/mistresses being a little over zealous!

Sorry about that-email me at customercare@lovehoney.co.uk if you have any other problems.

Matt

67

My boyfriend took a package back to return for me the other day. The man at the post office couldn't scan the bar code at first so asked my OH if this going to Lovehoney haha he went all red faced and said yeah lol.

68

Lollipop ;) wrote:

My boyfriend took a package back to return for me the other day. The man at the post office couldn't scan the bar code at first so asked my OH if this going to Lovehoney haha he went all red faced and said yeah lol.

:o! Thats so funny. I had a friend who was a postie and she said they can all recognise the boxes when they deliver lol! So now I feel so embarrassed when the postman delivers me my usual multiple packages....

69

MissChar wrote:

:o! Thats so funny. I had a friend who was a postie and she said they can all recognise the boxes when they deliver lol! So now I feel so embarrassed when the postman delivers me my usual multiple packages....

Oh noes, cringe central from now on!

70

Lol well it does say LH on the boxes. I think a lot of people would know what that means haha. :p

71

Anyone worried or embarrased just tell them its a toy. thats usally enough, im sure my postie has an incling of what xx xxxxxxx is they probably have a little insiders joke about us "kinky folk" that get multiple deliveries ;)

L&J

72

Our postman rings the doorbell to hand over every delivery we get ..... except our LH boxes. When these arrive he leaves them by the door, rings the bell and runs!

I think all the posties know what [xxx] is by now!!

73

I would just reply 'toys'. I only usually get asked about the value of the items I post. I usually send gifts in the post to people, just saying a gift should be sufficient.

74

My neighbour is the manager of the local sorting office, the posties don't bother bringing my packages out only to drop off the little red card. My neighbour just brings them home and hands them over with a funny expression. I'm sure he knows the contents, he must see hundreds of plain packages every day.

75

Most posties probably do know what is inside but I don't actually care. As long as they are proffesional (which mine always are) then I have no problem with it.

76

Fair enough I agree they should have the right to ask if any prohibited items are concealed, but I definitely don't agree with them asking specifically what is inside. That's a bit too far.

I just went to my local PO to return something I bought from LH. Could have just been lucky, but I didn't get asked if there were any prohibited items / specifically what was in the padded envelope.

77

Just an update- had to send back some lingerie just yesterday, to get a different sizing. This time I was able to get seen in the post office straight away, and the lady accepted it no problems- almost forgetting to ask the 'any prohibited contents' question- almost. At the last moment, she remembered. And asked: 'What's inside the box'. And I confidently replied 'clothing'. But it seems as if 'what is inside' has become the new security question, even if the wording which has filtered down to the PO staff isn't exactly what they're supposed to be asking, as Matt O suggested.

Oh, and as for the appearance of the parcels- I think they're VERY recognisable- to those who use LH. Half the time I think '** Trading' is really obvious, but I keep having to remind myself that it'll only be obvious to those who actually use LH- because their discreet returns address is something which is well known and prided within LH. And I think if anyone else recognises a parcel as originating from Lovehoney, then they themselves must have used LH in the past. Any sly smiles in the post office (appart from in embarrasing situations)... well, if they're exciting enough as a person to know what LH stands for, then I think they're welcome to share a knowing smirk!

78

I had to have lovehoney send me a cheque for a item I returned because my partners card was canceled and my partner had to go to the bank to cash it but it had Lovehoney limited on the cheque I couldn't stop giggling lol.

79

I made a complaint with Royal mail in regards to this. So I suggest you all make a complaint with Royal Mail. This is the reply I received back this morning. I gave them details of my PO but advised them that it has happened in quite a lot of PO's.

Dear Miss FrozenAngel (Name removed for obvious reasons)

Thank you for letting me know about your recent experience in one of our Post Office® branches..

I was very concerned to learn that the Branch Assistant requested to know the contents of your item of mail. I do understand the concern this may have caused you and please accept my apologies for this.

It may help if I explain that due to the introduction of the Dangerous Goods Act, Royal Mail and Parcelforce prohibits and restricts specific items from its network. It is therefore important that our staff question customers about the contents of their mail to ensure they are not accepting any prohibited item that falls under this act.

To enable the transaction to be completed, we advise our staff that customers should be presented with the Dangerous Goods Act leaflet which displays the restricted and prohibited goods. We would then expect the customer to confirm or deny whether their item contains Dangerous Goods or not.

Post Office counter staff are not required to know the exact contents and I apologise sincerely for the concern the issue has caused you.

If you can supply me with details of the Post Office that you visited. I can ensure that the information will be used for training purposes.

The details of your complaint have been included and recorded under the above reference number. If you need to contact us again about this matter, it would help us if you could quote our reference number to enable us to quickly access the information.

Once again please accept my apologies for any concern caused by this incident.

If you need any further help with Post Office products and services, you can call 0845 722 33 44 between 8.15 am and 6 pm from Monday to Friday, and 8.30 am to 2 pm on Saturday. You can also access information at http://www.postoffice.co.uk, the official Post Office website.

Yours sincerely

PO employee (Name removed)

80

So the answer to the question in the future, is that it contains no prohibited items

81

No well I said that Bakerson when I went the week before last and they said they needed to know what was exactly in the package. I was in a small PO that's in a shop and full of people in a small town and just blured out the contents because I was getting really annoyed.

I advised them that it wasn't on the prohibited list, nor was it illegal. She said she needed to know the EXACT contents before she would send it.

Well according to Royal Mail they don't need to know what's in the package nor should we be asked that, we should be presented with a prohibited list and confirm or deny if the package contains those items.