I lost my Anal virgininty a few months back with my fiancee. After i was very emotional and started crying, but didnt know why. I just wanted to hug him so much.
This is the 4th time we have had anal sex now, and i am still the same.
He thinks it has somthing to do with the fact i was raped at 12 years old, so didnt really have a choice in loosing my virginity (vaginal).
Does anybody else get emotional or is it just me?
At first i thought it was normal as it was my first time but didnt expect it 4 times later.
Firstly what happened to you is absolutely awful, and well done on being so brave and open about it.
I recently lost mine too and I have to say I didn't get emotional (well I thought it was super hot and was happy that I'd finally done it), so maybe it does have something to do with your past.
Sometimes it takes a few tries to get someone you like. I really hated my first psychiatrist, did not want to talk to him at all. So tried a different one and he was much better. The same goes for my psychotherapist.
When something like that happens, it's impossible to just get over it. I made the mistake of thinking I was going to be alright after what happened to me. A few years down the road I ended up with severe depression, all I wanted to do was die. I really think it would help you if you could talk to someone about it who could help you face the past and put it behind you.
It could also just be a way for your body to process the sensations. It's not unheard of for people to cry during massage for example. So while something is definately going on, it isn't a bad thing unless you're feeling bad about it/during it. If you're crying because you feel a wave of sadness, guilt or shame then it would be worth seeing someone, but if you're crying and everything feels good then frankly it sounds like you're doing something your body needs.
Might be worth having a google for emotion caused by touch/massage/sex.
Some people get highly emotional after sex in general let alone after what you have been through. I've been with a guy before who cried after sex it was his way of dealing with all his emotions after sex
I lost my Anal virgininty a few months back with my fiancee. After i was very emotional and started crying, but didnt know why. I just wanted to hug him so much.
This is the 4th time we have had anal sex now, and i am still the same.
He thinks it has somthing to do with the fact i was raped at 12 years old, so didnt really have a choice in loosing my virginity (vaginal).
Does anybody else get emotional or is it just me?
At first i thought it was normal as it was my first time but didnt expect it 4 times later.
Thanks in advance.
X
And also id say it's still relatively new to you. 4times trying out anal is not a lot really. You may need at least a couple of months till it feals part of the norm. And so sorry for what happened to you in the past.
I have no idea why a human can be so cruel to another human. I just don't understand how people can treat people so harshly.
You seam to be a strong person being open like you are. Good luck to you and hope things work out for you!
For got to say i feal like i have really achieved something after anal.
I get a hole lode of different kind of emotions going through me that i just can not begin to describe to you during anal. Its like being on some king of rollercoaster ride on your bed! Don't know what being high on drugs is like but some experience I have had won't be far of I'd say.
It could also just be a way for your body to process the sensations. It's not unheard of for people to cry during massage for example. So while something is definately going on, it isn't a bad thing unless you're feeling bad about it/during it. If you're crying because you feel a wave of sadness, guilt or shame then it would be worth seeing someone, but if you're crying and everything feels good then frankly it sounds like you're doing something your body needs.
Might be worth having a google for emotion caused by touch/massage/sex.
This!
There are some people who crave being brought to tears during intense sexual or BDSM experiences. They feel that it is a release and some would even say they need it. Do not feel strange or ashamed. If that is the way your body reacts, then so be it. So long as you are not crying due to feeling negative emotions. (This is a grey area. Take for example the people who enjoy being humilated or feeling pain during their session. It could be argued that they were made to cry because of something negative, yet they crave this. I am not a psychologist and can only guess from my own experiences/research, but somehow, it frees them. They seek it. I so wish I could explain better arghh!) Sex, especially something intense, can bring the emotions bubbling to the surface. It releases a lot of hormones and a lot of emotions.
If you enjoy it and it feels good and you naturally feel an urge to cry (but don't think it is caused by anything negative) then just be who you are and enjoy it. Explain to your boyfriend that people cry for many reasons; some negative, (like shame, anger or pain) and others positive, like pride, achievement and joy (Such as the birth of a baby). People cry at weddings, just as at funerals. People cry after getting an A on that important test (Achievement) and others cry if they got an F (failure). Crying is not always a negative reaction.
With regards to your past, it is your choice whether to seek help in the future and only you will know how much it affects you now, but I just wanted to say that with childhood trauma, it can take a long time and several different therapists to find you feel better. Mental health issues are so much harder to "quick fix" than say, a broken bone and it is quite common to feel worse before you feel better. A lot of people leave at this stage, because it doesn't feel very nice, but yeah...its one of those things that does take a while to work through. Just do what feels right to you.
For me, anal sex is a very deep and personal experience. During the act, it feels raw, sexy as hell, and without question my OH will hear filth pouring out of my mouth like at no other time. Afterwards though, I feel satisfied beyond belief and so so close to my partner. We're a very close couple anyway, but there's something about anal that just knocks down walls for me. Maybe it's because for years anal sex was a taboo subject, I wouldn't of dreamed of engaging in it with anybody (tried it, didn't enjoy it at all) I too had bad experiences when I was younger (not rape, abuse and very negative relationships) and some things weren't a choice for me, but allowing my OH to penetrate me anally was my choice, it's because of the trust we share that I can let him do it, and enjoy it so much. Because of this, this is when I feel owned by him (in a good way) and as someone who is often the dominate party, this is when I totally submit - it's emotional, for me anyway. I'm his, he makes me feel safe. It's beautiful, never fight your emotions providing you're happy and in control of your life
For me, anal sex is a very deep and personal experience. During the act, it feels raw, sexy as hell, and without question my OH will hear filth pouring out of my mouth like at no other time. Afterwards though, I feel satisfied beyond belief and so so close to my partner. We're a very close couple anyway, but there's something about anal that just knocks down walls for me. Maybe it's because for years anal sex was a taboo subject, I wouldn't of dreamed of engaging in it with anybody (tried it, didn't enjoy it at all) I too had bad experiences when I was younger (not rape, abuse and very negative relationships) and some things weren't a choice for me, but allowing my OH to penetrate me anally was my choice, it's because of the trust we share that I can let him do it, and enjoy it so much. Because of this, this is when I feel owned by him (in a good way) and as someone who is often the dominate party, this is when I totally submit - it's emotional, for me anyway. I'm his, he makes me feel safe. It's beautiful, never fight your emotions providing you're happy and in control of your life
Great to read - this is why I LOVE anal sex - the total trust and openness you give to your partner to look after you as you submit to them in such a way.
I cried the first couple of times I had both anal and vaginal sex by choice. I was abused when I was younger and never spoke to anyone until I had my daughter and then I had to be strong so I went to mu doc to see a therapist and I went through 4 therapist until I met my current therapist and the right one can really help I have been able to discuss everything in detail and am working through it. I would definitely say find the right one and you may see a difference X
For me, anal sex is a very deep and personal experience. During the act, it feels raw, sexy as hell, and without question my OH will hear filth pouring out of my mouth like at no other time. Afterwards though, I feel satisfied beyond belief and so so close to my partner. We're a very close couple anyway, but there's something about anal that just knocks down walls for me. Maybe it's because for years anal sex was a taboo subject, I wouldn't of dreamed of engaging in it with anybody (tried it, didn't enjoy it at all) I too had bad experiences when I was younger (not rape, abuse and very negative relationships) and some things weren't a choice for me, but allowing my OH to penetrate me anally was my choice, it's because of the trust we share that I can let him do it, and enjoy it so much. Because of this, this is when I feel owned by him (in a good way) and as someone who is often the dominate party, this is when I totally submit - it's emotional, for me anyway. I'm his, he makes me feel safe. It's beautiful, never fight your emotions providing you're happy and in control of your life
This actually made me want to try anal with my OH. The way you described it was just fantastic. It sounds romantic at times but yet you have filth pouring out of your mouth.
repeating what's been said, but it may simply be that the sensations are unfamiliar and your body is learning to deal with them, or it may be loosening up built up emotions. Either way as long as you're ok and your partner understands then it's not a problem.
I know when I've been having anal play afterwards I can feel like a shaking wreck and unable to think (first time it really happened with current OH immediately afterwards she wanted to discuss it - like was it good, could I improve etc - and I was like "just give me a minute !")
Could it be because you feel that you have giving you’re partner something you had stolen from you? A part of you’re virginity.
When sex is used as violence it can leave so much destruction behind on the survivor and when finally reclaiming back you’re sexuality and taking control of it, it can be incredibly overwhelming.