Emotional connection vs Lust

I’ve heard many times (especially women) say, that sex is about emotional connection (intimacy) rather than lust/raw sex.

Are emotions above performance? What do you prefer and why?

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I not only have to have a physical attraction but also an emotional connection with a person in order to have sex with them, which is why i have never had a one night stand. Never been in a position where i have gotten so turned on that would lead to something like that. That was just not me. Another reason why i could never do a threesome or go to a swingers club for sex with strangers as there would be no emotional connection there for me to want to have sex with someone i had just met or had even met a few times.
If i have that emotional connection like i do with my husband then yes sex between us can be also be lustful and raw as well as intimate.

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@Some-no-one
My personal opinion is that its different for everyone. It could be both for a lot of people.
Doesn’t everyone have a “Honeymoon Stage” of their relationship.
I’m sure my first time will be anxious, nervous, exciting and all of the emotions that go with having sex for the first time.

I am not an expert on any of this. Just a virgins opinion.

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Pure lust for me almost all most of the time, we have our emotional times too but because we are both hornballs its pure lust..

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I wonder…
Sometimes when two people are together, that don’t match in any way… I hear people say:

Yeah… their sex must be amazing.

Or: Women talk about sex more to other women then men do with eachother. And women prefer to know info about the cock, skills, how… so to me that’s more a focus on “lust”.

But please, do correct me if I’m wrong… I am curious and just want to know..

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I think the reason people say that when two people are mismatched is because they have so little in common the only reason they are together is because of the sex. Very rarely lasts when the novelty of the sex wears off and someone else better suited comes along.

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I think it varies person to person but I’m a demisexual and sapiosexual so I don’t have celeb crushes for looks but if they say something interesting or they’reba good person generally then I talk about them like I want to eat their brains. Same with guys: I go by vibes, not looks.

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I’ve never had sex without an emotional connection, and when I asked her, neither has my OH.

It just dosen’t work for me as a pure lust thing, there has to be feelings too :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Emotional connection defo makes the sex more fulfilling than a lustful bang that’s over and done with, often leaving you feeling rather lacklustre afterwards!

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From what I’ve heard, in most cases when it comes to more long term relationships. Women associate love with sex, men associate sex with love.

Lust fades after the ‘honeymoon’ period, the excitement goes and day-to-day stress gets in the way.

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I agree i associate love with sex, which is why the emotional bond i need to have sex, but i do think some men also feel that way. Although a lot of men can have sex without any feelings whatsoever for the woman and dont even care what they look like.

Also true the lust wanes after the honeymoon period and then life and stresses get in the way. But as stresses fall away, perhaps due to retirement as in our case the lust and excitement can be rekindled and we are about to start a new and exciting chapter in our lives that i am really looking forward to.

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I think it can be both. Depending on the mood we are in. It can be a hard and lustfull fuck session where we both just need to cum. And other times a love making situation , soft gentle and un rushed

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I should also add lustful raw sex does not necessarily mean good sex as it can be all over in a few minutes or seconds which is a disappointment for the woman.

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For me there has to be an emotional connection to want to have sex with someone. Part of sex is that amazing emotional connection between two people

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So you have an emotional connection with your female friend? With me i have to love the person so that would be a no no as it would jeapordise my marriage.

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