Hey all, so it seems that lately (been happening for the last month/month and a half) my husband has been having problems maintaining an erection. He can get it up but it doesn’t stay up long and he’s even noticed during masturbation he’s struggling he said 3/4mths ago he had no problems at all.
We have got cock rings and he said they are somewhat helping and he did confess since we moved two months ago he’s been forgetting to take his blood pressure meds so I’ve kicked his butt about that (and made him see a gp on the weekend for a check up)
The issue I have is going into sex I feel like I’m letting him down if I can’t get him to orgasm but he’s also feeling like he’s under pressure to perform how do I navigate this so we can both be satisfied?
All though hard to admit…………ok I’ll start again that was below the belt ……… ah….
Sorry I couldnt help it jokes aside and no offence meant, I’m pretty sure the amount of guys that suffer a little ED at some point in their lives is pretty much all of us!
There are so many things that can cause it, it would be difficult to name them all … high blood pressure, diabetes, age, work life, home life , stress worrying about having ED….
I have been there a few times my self and had testorone levels checked and been fine and tried a few different versions of the little blue pill. Just having these in my arsenal and knowing that if I struggle I could take one if the situation called for it and my little man didn’t have the stamina to carry on actually helped more than you would think.
I found if the sail went down mid session I would move to something else … perhaps take a pill while I went down on her or got some toys out etc!
It’s a little embarrassing but try not to overthink it as that’ll make it worse…… visit the GP again and mix things up when you’re together
@fish2929 totally agree with @rockstar seek medical advice as it’s probably a testosterone issue and a quick visit should sort the matter after a blood test
It is good he is approaching his GP first. I suffer with ED and a few months after it started I had a heart attack. There are some thoughts the ED can be a sign of heart problems.
It’s a vicious circle, the more you think about it, the more it can happen.
Then you expect it.
Other influences that have not been mentioned are
Porn
High cholesterol
Plaque in arteries
Age
Venous leak, where blood drains out of the penis, especially in a lying flat position
High cortisol from stress
Lack of good sleep, which can also affect test lvls.
Alcohol and drugs, prescribed or recreational
More than likely psychological though, before you go down the rabbit hole of the other reasons
Does he wake up still with morning wood?
A good indicator of if his little fella is working right or not.
Test lvls are a touchy subject, u can be low lvl but still within the acceptable range, and TRT is probably gonna be for life.
Viagra isn’t a good path to follow either, cos they can become reliant.
Penis pumps can be useful too, alongside rings.
New sonic treatment available too, but that’s further down the line.
@steve19 actually that’s why I made him go to the gp the Saturday just gone, since we moved a couple of months ago he had forgotten to take his blood pressure medication and even before that it was hit and miss due to the nature of his work plus we are both plus size people. He’s had a blood test done to check for diabetes as well among other things but he wasn’t comfortable to talk to the gp regarding the ED.
@MrGoodGuy it could be high cholesterol or high blood pressure or even diabetes partly why he hasn’t spoken to the gp yet about it as we’re more looking at his general health first. He’s also put on more weight so we’re getting him signed up to a swimming pool this week to get back into some sort of exercise routine.
I know it sounds kinda ridiculous, but try brazil nuts. They’re insanely high in selenium (and so you should not have too many). I didn’t need them when I was eating a few, but they made a pretty surprising difference. The difference I noticed was very specifically how long my erection lasted and how consistent it was. Had to stop eating them
It goes without saying and as above that stress and energy (sleep etc) also play a large role.
I am very interested in the testing kit. I have suffered with ED since just before I had a heart attack 7 years ago. Hospital keep saying they are going to refer me to talk/look into ED but nothing ever seem to happen. Would be good to test myself. Thank you for the information @GoGirl12
He has known high blood pressure and hasn’t been taking his medication. Known to be overweight and been putting on weight recently.
I’d suggest it’s likely to be cardiovascular health rather than hormones.
The stress/anxiety of erectile dysfunction is making it worse.
See the GP, make sure he takes his medication and look at diet/exercise. Cialis/tadalafil might help with confidence, but the underlying issue needs to be fixed too, otherwise you’re just masking symptoms.
Nothing except that we had been having a dry spell sex wise for almost a year.
I do think it is something health related though and he did find out he’s put on more weight so we’re sorting out to tackle that by getting him into swimming.
Weight can definitely have some impact on things if it’s over his BMI. Might be a point to go see a GP to just mention it and see if they can test if he’s lacking in any vitamins too.
While testosterone can influence ED it is well accepted to typically be a secondary influencer. There are many causes of ED. Some can be corrected and some can’t. Of course like everything, good overall health is the first place to start. Second I would say is good communication and support between partners. Physical ED can lead to mental ED quickly. ED meds may help with both physical and mental ED. Talking with a doctor, while uncomfortable, is very important.
I had some issues in the past and did a ton of research on the topic. My issue has greatly improved. Stay away from magic cures, creams, special herbs and other snake oil cures.
Again support each other and there are other ways to pleasure each other.
Part of my issue was I was wanking like an 18 year old using a middle age body. When I reduced the wanking and some of the porn I was able to perform when I truly want to perform and that was with my OH.
There are lots of possible factors here but you mention blood pressure meds straight from the get go.
In all probability there is your answer! An erection is literally the product of increased blood flow to the penis! Sort his blood pressure out, get him back on the meds, see the GP if needed and in all likelihood the problem will go away.
Don’t over complicate it and change too many variables at once or you won’t know where you are or what you’re doing. Given that the blood pressure meds are he variable that’s changed, correct that before you do anything else.
*** the above was written by Mrs SW2003 who is a doctor***
jokes aside and no offence meant, I’m pretty sure the amount of guys that suffer a little ED at some point in their lives is pretty much all of us!
