Discussed sexual choking with my husband however I don’t want to go as far as restricting breathing, more him just putting pressure on my neck. I like the whole power play to it rather than the idea of asphyxiation.
He is obviously concerned about leaving marks on my neck and / or hurting me. We have just had a small chat about it and I know it is probably best to have further discussions and not talk about what to do in the heat of the moment.
Any tips or advice on starting this?
A lot of it will be learn as you go for him knowing how much pressure to put on you, especially when he’s excited and aroused
First of all however, I would look up online and check/learn where and how he should be holding your neck for a gentle choke
I personally love it (being the person doing the choking). All I would say is please be careful and do some research beforehand about how to do it safely as doing it improperly can be dangerous and cause damage.
If he’s doing it gently then this is unlikely, but as with most things, it’s worth going into this from a position of knowledge and information to ensure you give yourself the best chance for success.
You’re already having the conversation with him which is an amazing first step! Maybe try experimenting with different hand placements/positioning to find what works best for you, if you don’t want to be chocked to the point of not breath perhaps your husband could place his hands round your neck but avoid your windpipe.
Also, I know it sounds cliche but if you’re worried about experimenting it could be worth making a safe signal or safe word. That way you both know when it’s getting too much.
Good luck! (:
Ditto to the above posts, but regarding marks unless he’s really going for it and/or you’re a peach you should be ok. Or invest in some nice scarves and arnica cream!
Play sensibly, do the research and whatever you do….don’t do it drunk/high. I know a lot of people do it, and I get the thrill of the risk, but it’s not worth it.
I am going to start by saying this is not safe. There is no way of safely doing breath play; it is massively, life-threateningly risky. It doesn’t matter what you do, there is no way to make it safe.
Ok, now you’ve read that and are still going to do it anyway, there are some things you can do to reduce the risk (although the above still applies!)
Firstly, should never put pressure on your windpipe. One way to do it is for him to put his fingers below your jaw and push upwards, making sure his palm is not pressing down on you. This will give you the sensation without cutting off the oxygen.
Secondly, he needs to do it in short bursts. He can leave his hand around your neck for affect but don’t continuously squeeze.
Thirdly, if something goes wrong, he needs to be prepared to call an ambulance.
The best resource I have found for breath play is leatherfamily.co.uk They also do workshops on the subject. I’ve been to one and it was brilliant.
Yeah he definitely wouldn’t want to go near the windpipe and you are right about using a safe word but maybe I could add a hand signal along with it. Just incase it gets rougher than intended!
Thank you for such a good and detailed response. Yes, I certainly will be forgoing your warning but thanks for it anyway
. I know it is never 100% safe and thanks for the link for the information.
As others have said, my wife recently said the same to me and we started light and as we tried it more and more found the right level of pressure and more importantly where to grip
Did you fully restrict breathing or just have your hand around her neck?
edited by mod it was on tv a few month ago as only takes a little amount of pressure around the neck to kill someone especially when a woman is concentrating on other things. The closest Id go to choking someone, is putting my hand around her neck WITHOUT squeezing.
Yeah, I might forgo the squeezing. I have at times put my hand around my neck when masturbating but not squeezed. I like the control / domination aspect of it and not the being out of breath part.
For when my girl can’t speak we use clicking. One click is a check in, multiple clicks is a Red stop.
Clicking is a good one. How long have you been choke playing for?
I’ll jump in here too and agree with others too say stay away from her windpipe! No pressure in the middle of her neck (imagine your Adam’s Apple!)
If you/she do want the pressure try high up under the jaw and go more along the lines of restricting her movement.
One way for pressure is to apply on the sides, just squeeze with thumb and fingers, this can slightly restrict the blood flow to the brain and give you a light headed buzzy feeling. Too much and she will pass out though .
But…. If you get the pressure right …… and the timing….. combined with an orgasm she won’t know what year it is after, let alone the day of the week there’s loads of “how toos” and “dos and donts” online, do your research talk to each other and practice! Please start of gently though
I could never have this done properly to me I like a firm hold on my neck area but definitely wouldn’t call it choking, I would never choke someone if asked as its too easy to get carried away and not know the pressure you are using.
Thank you for your advice. I am not the one giving it though, I have asked my.husband to do this to me but I will certainly read up on it more and not just jump into it.
sorry my bad
But when you are talking about putting pressure to the sides, is that the middle of the neck? That sounds good the way you are describing it.
Thats an amazing article and one everyone should read before considering messing around witb breath play. It is something we do to a VERY mild degree and have made ourselves aware of the risks. So many people just go into it with no research. They dont realise they are literally playing with lltheir life os someone elses