Roleplay in general takes a lot of practice to even begin to feel comfortable. And then power play adds another tier where if you haven’t done it enough to know each others’ baseline expectations/boundaries, they need to be renegotiated every time. Sometimes you learn by flopping (now you know that she wants it to be naughty for her, too - not just the naughty doctor, but she’s breaking the rules, too). Next time, you’ll know and/or know to pre-negotiate the expectations. maybe this is a scenario that bringing in some CNC (consensual non-consent) can really ratchet up the heat for her. And if you’re playing that way, make sure you have your safewords so that her resistance doesn’t stop you when she’s still playing.
Here are ways I’ve “screwed up” in some of our fantasy/role-playing:
- Getting into a domination mood and restraining my wife - and then just going down on her. “She’s like: If that’s all we’re doing, I’m going to tie you down and sit on your face.”
- We were doing a CNC scene and as she was pinned, I fell into a “tell me how much you like that” kind of dirty talk habit that really broke the mood for her. She’s like, “nope - I don’t want to tell you that I like it - I know you’re a considerate lover in real life and care about my needs, but I need you to keep your character and be selfish today.”
- While my wife was bound, edging her with alternating between oral, face-f*cking, and her Womanizer to the point that she was so aroused it was irritating and she was begging to either be allowed to cum or take control of the toy. She was in a pretty bad way and I didn’t want her to get to that point where she’d overshot the landing for her O, so I freed one wrist so she could control her Womanizer and cum. Afterward we realized (or she told me, or I noted - I don’t recall) that it was a fantastic orgasm for her and no regrets there, but that she hadn’t safeworded out. Turns out we so rarely actually push to the edge that I hadn’t even considered that.
- After a particularly rough week for my wife, we started out an afternoon romp and she said she wasn’t in the mood to be dominated and just wanted some more tender, romantic sex - after we got into it she says, “you know, I could go for some domination.” So I restrained her and kept playing - but couldn’t get the “tender, romantic” out of the way and didn’t bring in the dirty talk she really likes when she’s bound. We had mixed messages about expectations.
And just to be clear: I ruined the fantasy, but we still had great sex. And this is not counting all the “bloopers” of getting everything set up and then a leg cramp sets in. Or her period has started. Or dang, I’m maybe too gassy to be sitting on your face respectfully. We’re having fun - we end up laughing - it’s all good.