Can you be more specific? Advice about what, exactly?
Situations, stories, methods, games, humiliations, punishments, toys and anything else a more experienced member might think of could give us...
If I understand you correctly, you're seeking new ideas for kinky stuff to do in the bedroom, is that right? If that's what you're looking for, some idea of what you've already done might be helpful.
My power exchange dynamic with my submissive is based less on specific activities such as you mention, and more on me owning him, so I don't think I can give you examples of games and suchlike as you requested. However, regarding methods, I established my ownership over him by gaining his consent for me to have the final say over his health and pleasure. That is, whilst he is responsible for allocating his own time so that he gets everything done that he needs to, and is also responsible for reporting his state of being to me whenever there is a change, I have the final say regarding how he takes care of himself, and how much pleasure (if any) he is allowed.
One health example - he has been to the doctor under my direction, and as a result, several long-standing, pre-existing health problems have been identified and are now being treated.
A pleasure example - I allow him to masturbate unsupervised and at times of his choosing for an hour once a week, but he's not allowed to orgasm unless I give specific permission.
I don't ever do "punishments", since I know that my submissive's primary desire is to please me, and his failure to do so hurts him much more than it hurts me. I don't have to do anything to punish him, he does it all by himself. The fact that he knows that I have no desire to punish him, and that all I want is my own happiness and his optimal functioning, means that he only associates me with pleasure, and not with unpleasantness. This is an important part of my training scheme.
You and your partner might be interested in my resource on prostate milking:
Right; this is something I've been experimenting more with recently as he's always loved it when I take control as I've come to (no pun intended) and some of my own pleasure/ excitement/ satisfaction always stems from his. I also enjoy the balance we have of neither person always being in a fixed role.
However following a couple of occasions recently, the first of which I tied him to the pull up bar, blind folded him, flogged, scratched and went down on him (he had to ask nicely) and the second of which I forbade him from moving, blindfolded and told him that I was going to please myself with him, and if he was very good I let him come.
I wasn't anticipating the kick that his response gave me, nor to enjoy the power as I did.
He confessess that he likes the quick stinging pain of sharp nails and spanking but prefers steadier more drawn out pain. The man is a wall of muscle and he has a fairly thick skin , yummy but more difficult to satisfy that way because of it, I have very sharp nails-not long, just very thin (read bendy) and sharp, but it takes a fair bit of perseverance to leave good marks on him. I want to see that face again lol.
I'd like some tips on how to proceed with this as being sexually dominated definitely is one of his kinks and apparently dominating may well be one of mine! However he isn't a submissive by nature and also gets a kick from a reversal of the above (although for health reasons we're more careful with things like ties when I am more submissive), Not meaning to imply here that all of our sexual activities are sub/dom based, the vast majority are not!
What I have in mind is to set aside a night just for us and tease him through the day so that he comes back horny but not expecting anything unusual, and be greeted by me in the halterneck version of this:
http://www.annsummers.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?productId=78472&storeId=10001&catalogId=40151&langId=-1
a red satin/ black lace thong, stockings and short black skirt
limited lighting but fairly inexperienced so I'd like suggestions on where to go from there! (economically viable ones only please ) xx
Nice to hear you are experimenting with power exchange, even just in the bedroom as it can be a lot of fun!
For a bit of Topping in the bedroom I would say (as in all power exchange/bdsm sessions/rels) that the first things to figure out are limits and a safeword. Then specific fetishes. I guess you already know what each others fetishes are
Safety is vital as you are making one of you extremely vulnerable in some way to the other and the other is getting off on it.
Choose a safe word first (see safewords thread) that isnt a word that would normaly be said at that stage/in bedroom play. Like pineapple for instance, or chihuahua. Lol
Personally I wear whatever I feel comfy in but if you want to dress up thats cool
Maybe try a bit of light orgasm control, dont let him wank until you say so, and if he disobeys then a punishment like with a punishment implement, a light flogger or paddle (see the Bondage Boutique range... also have a loyalty scheme!) this will save your nails!Or there are some vampire gloves about on the site with little prickly bits on for sensory play, or a wartenburg wheel (pin wheel) that are fun while he is tied up.
Sounds a good plan you have there! I would say if you are using home implements for bondage, make sure you can get out of them in a hurry and dont put near the neck... and take it slowly, easy to add more meanness, not so easy to back down with humility and still remain feeling Dominant or Top in a play scene!
We go by my limits always- well, so far (He only has 3 to date!) and we do nothing unless both are into it.
Dressing up is partly for him, both to delight and to tease and partly for me as I'm then less likely to chicken out and will feel beautiful rather than self conscious lol- also that satin feels amazing! We've found a few kinks and fetishes, one of which is being marked lol. but I'm sure will discover more along the way
The vampire gloves are already on my wishlist *sigh* when I win the lottery the pinwheels look interesting.
We have a light flogger, and will probably pick up something heavier fairly soon (again money dependent)
As I really am an amateur here, could you explain 'home implements for bondage'? I wouldn't go near his neck due to being a wuss at heart!
I've got a good Idea of the general concept of what I'm aiming for and safety first, just very little idea of where to go from here with specifics Thanks MC x
If you want a cheaper equivalent (ish) to vampire gloves, try metal Banjo Picks. They go on each finger and can exert a lot of pain on a back. I got 6 off ebay for 6 quid. All you then need to do is be brave enough to use them.
I'm Dominant all the time, I just temper my reactions to things according to the vanillas around me. Much the same as the way I can feel sexually aroused and be a sexual woman but not instantly jump on my partner in public, lol
I've not had much practice yet and it's a mood thing for me but enjoying experimenting, he's loving the fact I'm now confident enough even to try dominating properly- not that before I was passive or properly sub and have always enjoyed things but had major self esteem problems for a long time that are slowly diminishing!
On a few occasions apparently I've got everything right and just need to have the confidence to do so without being hesitant. It's been interesting, he's asking more frequently for me to make him come and for permission sometimes (outwith the domme scenarios) which I find curious but it's also led to him verbalising more in general during sex which is arousing and is drawing me out a little bit as well.
I got a front zipping cross back bra which is great for teasing and he can't undo the same way :) So it's a sort of work in progress really
For me i love the look of a dom girl, all black latex, very sexy. I also love being ordered to do things i wouldnt normally volenteer to do but really want to (did that make sence?) I spend my day telling people what to do and how to do things its nice to give it all up to the one i love.