My boyfriend and I have been with each other for over four years now and have a really great sex life. We're always keen to keep things exciting in the bedroom, and recently I suggested to him that we have a think about trying anal sex.
The great thing is that we're comfortable enough with each other to chat about this kinda stuff, as I know that being relaxed before attempting anal is dead important - However.. (this is where your advice would be greatly appreciated!!)
Neither of us have tried anal sex before and it would be really great if you could help me with how best to go about it! I've looked at loads of the toys and reviews on this site but I just don't know which to go for! I can fit my index finger in quite easily myself and its still comfortable but to be honest, I don't really know where to go from here!
We had talked about getting a butt plug or one of the sets of plugs to use to try and open me up a bit more before we even attempt to fit him in. We know that it may take a bit of time experimenting with the plugs and plenty of lube before I'm ready to try his dick, but I would really appreciate your advice on which toy/set would be the best for 2 complete beginners!
I had looked at the Tracey Cox Supersex kit with the medium and large plugs in it, but I'm scared this would be too big to begin with? But then after reading some reviews on the smaller plugs, I was worried that they might be too small which would mean we'd be looking for somthing bigger to try sooner rather than later? Also, are their any lubes in particular you's would reccommend? I thought the Maximus lube looked quite good?
I'd really appreciate your experiences and advice as it's always better to ask for help from people who have been here before!
generally you cant go wrong with a set of thre plugs... also use dildos if you have any to get used to thhe feeling fo something in deep.
Lube and relaxation is very important... get him to use hs fingers to gently massage your anus and then put a toy in and get used to having the toy in there too...
take your time and relax! and of course enjoy the mindblowing orgasm a bit of anal play helps to bring about!
I love butt plugs, but I think you are exactly right about the difficulty involved in choosing one just the right size, and the need to buy several to upgrade. I would personally recommend going for a smooth dildo with a small head, which tapers to a wider girth, and so you can insert it more deeply over a series of sessions. I would also always recommend not buying a rubber or jelly toy as these can degrade over time, and often smell or cause a burning sensation. With all those criteria it sounds pretty tough but I think http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22560 looks pretty good.
And having tried lots of different anal lubes, my preference is for maximus with toys as it is thick and stays in place (but I would recommend for vaginal use as it contains glycerin which can cause or exacerbate thrush problems), and Sliquid Sassy for anal sex as it is pretty thick but not as sticky as Maximus on my cock
Hope this is of some help, and good luck on your experimentation.
I prefer rimming as the easiest and most comfortable way for beginners to use with the proviso that you are both scrupulously clean beforehand. It ios a better less invasive way of allowing the sphincter to relax.
when i first starting doing anal, i started with fingers, and small objects like tampons, end of a shaver.. then i got a few small smooth dildos/ vibrators nothing rigid to beginin with. once i got used to them i started with bigger dildos :)
My problem with plugs is that they only really stretch the "opening" and not the inside so depening on your parterns lenght plugs might not be the way to go.
Also i have the Tracy cox medium and large butt plugs.. the arnt too wide, the medium fits nicly if you can fit 2-3 fingers you should be able to take it with minimal difficulty :) i would reccommend them if your going to start anal, but id also use a dildo to stretch the inside as well :P
I found finger play and rimming relaxing enough. As soon as toys got involved it put me right off, I think I went to big to quick. Got up and going again a few months later and went straight on to him, everyones different.
I found finger play and rimming relaxing enough. As soon as toys got involved it put me right off, I think I went to big to quick. Got up and going again a few months later and went straight on to him, everyones different.
Yeah, I'd go slow. So you know you wanna try anal- thats great! Doesnt mean you need to do it all in a rush. And I think that will help with feeling prepared for it. You sound really nice and open about this, so it does sound to me like you'd be okay to figure things out over time.
What I would advise, also, is possibly not buy all your plugs or anal vibes in one go. Certainly with the plugs, I've actually found (though I dont have a great bed of experience here with lots of different plugs) that some may feel more comfortable then others. Some generally stay in better then others- and it does get really annoying when your plug keeps popping out! Also, length of the neck, the taper of it. It's all stuff to consider. Also, material- rubber is cheap, but tends to have a very prominant plastic-y smell- which if you've never experienced it before, you wont get why its quite off-putting. Its survivable, lol, and certainly not something to make you completely rule it out- it does generally tend to fade over time, but silicone is a much better material I find.
So I'd advise, buy a small plug (or poss two), figure out if the design's up to scratch for you- ask us for our opinions based on your experiences, if you're unsure, and then decide whether to go for a similar, or slightly different design next time. Unless you're hitting a major LH sale, it's not gonna cost any different whether you get them all together, or separately.
Don't do what I did and use a cheap vibrator. Was not large but was made of very rigid plastic so ended up being uncomfortable. To make things worse it split in two whilst inside me!! Luckily I was using it without batteries as an object rather than a vibrator. Luckily between me and my Husband we removed the offending object strangley he found this VERY erotic and needed to finish what we had started.
We have since purchased the anal beginners kit with three butt plug sizes and vibrator and wow they are good. We both use them and they are brilliant. Luckily the incident above did not put us off, but trust me the proper things are much much more comfortable and are much better.
You don't really need toys, tbh... the best thing you can do before anal is warm up with fingers and lots of lube, and two or three orgams to really relax you. I actually find that after a few orgasms I start to crave something in my ass, and I never have any problems with pain after I've come a few times :) Good luck!
Don't do what I did and use a cheap vibrator. Was not large but was made of very rigid plastic so ended up being uncomfortable. To make things worse it split in two whilst inside me!! Luckily I was using it without batteries as an object rather than a vibrator. Luckily between me and my Husband we removed the offending object strangley he found this VERY erotic and needed to finish what we had started.
We have since purchased the anal beginners kit with three butt plug sizes and vibrator and wow they are good. We both use them and they are brilliant. Luckily the incident above did not put us off, but trust me the proper things are much much more comfortable and are much better.
Yeah, that's another main thing- dont use anything NOT DESIGNED to be put up the arse... you know what I mean! Among other things, they're not designed to be safe up there, and can get lost in the body- apparently. You hear the horror stories, at least, and I'm inclined to believe there's good reason why anal toys are designed the way they are.
Some of the really ultra-cheap things I shudder to think about, and, my god, Dry Martini- that is some bloody riddiculous build quality on that vibe- shit. Hearing about that scares the living daylights out of me- I'm very glad your husband was so calm and removed it alright. Bloody hell... I am glad you guys didn't get put off- and rather oddly smug for some reason your parner found a kink! Anyway, its good news you guys are doing well since that.
My very first vibe (of any type) was a lady finger- and for the record, I would not use that anywhere near the bottom! Yeah, I'm in agreement, stay away from anything out of rigid plastic- it's way too unforgiving, thats why most anal tools are cast in a material with some give in it. And lastly, yeah, listen to Shellyboo (I'm just agreeing with everyone now....) best thing is preperation, and it neednt be fancy. Sometimes the best tools are what is at hand! And a good lube. But yeah, dont try and stint on the good ol' finger work because you've got some fancy toys- its even more reason to have a good play- and I believe one of the best ways of getting you prepared is by hand.