Last week me And my friend was talking and we got onto the subject of bondage he said alot of girls judge him when he tells them what he likes. And that he was willing to meet up with strangers to get what he wants, so I offered to help. We have had the discussion on what he likes,dislikes etc and even a safe word for when he wants to stop, now here's my dilemma I don't know where to start I have been tied up before etc but he wants me to dominate him what do I do I don't want him to have a horrible experience and do something wrong . Any advice would be great as he's coming over in a couple of nights for this
Hiband welcome to the forums.
That's very nice of you to go out of your comfort zone with your friend. I guess it depends on what kind of stuff he's into. It's really difficult to advise without knowing that information. I would definitely suggest blindfolding him as it'll help with your confidence and he'll feel The sensations more strongly. Alsospeaking in a stern tone so he knows who's boss. Restraining him would be a good start then he's at your mercy. There's teasing him without hom being able to touch you. then stopping until its too much and passion takes over.
There's so many different things envolved with bondage I'm finding it hard to give any useful advice without knowing more 😕 if you could elaborate then I'll do my best to give you some advice. With more details the forum will be able to help you much morr. Also if you search in the searcbar at the top of the forums something like 'bondage where to start' or even 'bondage' youll see lots of posts. you'll also get more replies throughout the day 💟xx
I wrote this a while back to help a male dom. Some of the ideas will work for you too. Good luck x....
What about watching some videos and getting ideas from that? Show your partner this..
Gentle Dominating:
Push her against the wall/bed/floor/table. Hold down her wrists (above her head, behind her back, by her sides). Lean your weight against her to create the feeling like you are dominating her body. Push your knee between her legs and roughly spread them wide. "Spread wide for me, sweetheart."
Manhandle her. Put your hands all over her as if you can't get enough. Grab her breasts, squeeze her ass. Worship her. "God I love this hot/tight ass of yours". "This hot/tight ass of yours is all mine tonight." "You have the hottest/tightest little body ever." "Your body was made to be fucked by me."
Kiss her like you need it to breathe. Grab her chin and pull her mouth to yours, plunge your tongue in her mouth.
Run your fingers through her hair and pull gently. Tug her hair so that it forces her to look up at you, give her a sexy smirk, and kiss her roughly.
Grind your hips against her, let her feel your arousal pressed against her. "Can you feel how hard you make me?" "Fuck, you make me so hard." "I can't wait to shove this into that sweet pussy of yours." "God I need/want to be inside of you."
Getting more aggressive...
Light scratching: Use your fingernails and scratch along her back or lightly dig your nails into her ass.
Spanking: Slap her ass. Mix it up, don't just spank her a billion times: spank, rub it with the palm of your hand, grip it with your hand, slap it, etc. "I fucking love your tight little ass". "This beautiful ass is all mine...in fact I think I should leave a mark so you'll remember who it belongs to slap".
Biting: Bite her nipples, alternate with licking and swirling your tongue around the nipple.
Orgasm Denial: "Do you want to cum?", force her to say yes, then "I want to hear you beg for it." She begs. "Louder". She begs some more. "Good girl..." Proceed to make her come. Or tease her some more... "No I don't think I'll let you just yet..."
Forced Orgasms: "I want you to cum NOW." "Come for me, baby." Proceed to make her cum after you say these things. After you've made her come, "Have you had enough?...I don't think you have. I want you to come again for me." "I want to feel you soak my fingers/cock/tongue with your delicious juices". "I fucking love making you come, I think I want to do it again..." Make her cum again.
Have sex with clothes on. Ideal if she's wearing a dress/skirt - hike up her dress and fuck her like that. If she has pants, rip them off roughly. Move her panties aside (but don't take them off!) and screw her like that. "Look how wet you're making your panties...what a dirty little slut you are."
Make her pleasure you. Force her on her knees and suck you off. "Get on your knees now." "You're going to suck me until I'm satisfied." "Suck me with that talented little mouth of yours."
"Rape"/Light BDSM - So please, please tread carefully with this section, by "rape" I mean CONSENSUAL non-consent, if at any time she says the safe word, STOP IMMEDIATELY. Pay attention to her body language - if it appears like she is not enjoying something or starting to hesitate, STOP IMMEDIATELY, ask her if everything is okay, MAKE SURE THINGS ARE ACTUALLY OKAY. Again, please DO NOT continue if you have any doubts whatsoever. Constantly monitor her and your actions throughout this - remember your boundaries, STICK TO THEM. If you are interested in these activities, find resources and do your research, consult BDSM subreddits. Please, please play safe!!
Gagging: Gag her with a piece of cloth, my personal favorite is when my boyfriend fucks me with my panties on, then takes them off, and shoves them in my mouth. (Because your mouth will be gagged, you must have a "safe gesture" as a sign to stop if things get too much.)
Bondage: Buy rope, tape, handcuffs, four-poster bed restraints, etc. OR improvise and substitute with a scarf or belt. Tie up her wrists behind her back (then force her to suck you off), tie her to the bed frame and tease her. Safety point: NEVER leave someone tied up alone in a room (if you need to leave to go to the bathroom or anything like that, make sure you can hear her if she calls out to you. NEVER LEAVE SOMEONE GAGGED AND TIED UP.).
Degrade her. Call her a dirty little sl**, b***h, w***e ever... "The only thing you're good for is to be fucked/satisfying me." Make her degrade herself "What are you?" "What are you good for?" "You're my slutty little wh**e. Say it." If she hesitates, punish her with a slap/spank. "Not fast/quick enough. Let's try again. (Repeat the question/your demand)." If you're satisfied, "Good girl" or "That's better." If not satisfied, punish her until she gets it right. Make her call you "Sir" or "Master". Punish her every time she forgets to refer to you as that.
In contrast to degradation (as pointed out by you guys!): Praise her for satisfying you so well and being your "good little girl/slave". Tell her how pleased you are with her behavior and how good she's pleased you. Reward her
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First of all try and forget the archetypical image of a leather clad Dominatrix yielding a whip and flogging her victim into submission. If you can put all that behind you then your half way there !
The best way of dominating your fella is literally tieing him to the bed and blind folding him. Because you have blindfolded him he can't see that your nervous and perhaps a little unsure of what to do. Once secured you can just tease him by all sorts of methods
I'll list a few activities you could try
Ice play
Feather ticklers
Massage
Food play
Dragging silk scarves over his body
Your toys if you have any
Tease him with your hands ,mouth, tongue etc.
Give him an occasional spank to show him who's in charge
Keep him guessing on what your going to do next..Allow yourself plenty of thinking time ,don't forget he can't see you.
For the final piece ride him whilst still tied up .
There are other things you can add to that list ,just browse through the forum for further ideas
Good luck.
mysteron wrote:
First of all try and forget the archetypical image of a leather clad Dominatrix yielding a whip and flogging her victim into submission. If you can put all that behind you then your half way there !
The best way of dominating your fella is literally tieing him to the bed and blind folding him. Because you have blindfolded him he can't see that your nervous and perhaps a little unsure of what to do. Once secured you can just tease him by all sorts of methods
I'll list a few activities you could try
Ice play
Feather ticklers
Massage
Food play
Dragging silk scarves over his body
Your toys if you have any
Tease him with your hands ,mouth, tongue etc.
Give him an occasional spank to show him who's in charge
Keep him guessing on what your going to do next..Allow yourself plenty of thinking time ,don't forget he can't see you.
For the final piece ride him whilst still tied up .
There are other things you can add to that list ,just browse through the forum for further ideas
Good luck.
Great advice x
Great advice so far. I'd just add that if you're going to tie him up, research that. A quick google will throw up very basic ties for wrists/ankles, including the use of scarves etc if you don't have rope. Or make sure you know how to recreate whatever method you were tied with before. Practise on your ankles to get the process down, it's surpisingly helpful! It's very important, both for safety and to help set the scene, that you know what you're doing in this respect. Be sure to keep the rope/scarf whatever loose enough that you can fit two fingers between it and him, and have a pair of safety scissors nearby just in case.
In your OP it seems like you're doing this purely to stop him meeting with strangers? In the BDSM world meeting with strangers is not a bad thing at all provided you are safe in doing so, it's very typical actually. Don't feel pressured to try to fill this role in his life if it's just for the sake of stopping him meeting other people, there are other ways you could help in that case like going with him to meet the people before a play session, being his safety contact (if he doesn't contact you at x time you know something is wrong) and so on. If it's something you want to do then that's great, just that part of your post read a little like you felt you had to do become this role in his life just to stop strangers becoming involved. Sorry if I read too much into it, just wanted to put it out there :)
Thank you so .much for advice he is big massively big into pain I think apart from doing something wrong i also massively aware of my sexual attraction to him ( think this is another reason i offered) but also the fact he is 10 years younger I'm 38 I brought some rope today and a paddle and blindfold also treated myself to some new underwear he wants to come round tonight I said yes but now getting excessively nervous what is the best way to start when he turned s up do I just take hom straight into bedroom work up to it anyway now on way home with purchases to get ready wish me luck and once again thank you for help
I would offer a drink. Stick some music or film on. Start with a leg touch or something.. see how it goes.
Well for a start he's one lucky boy to have a friend like you!
As you seem so open talking about sex and you have talked about bondage play I would suggest that you sit down and work out what it is he is expecting from you and bondage, everyones idea of bondage can vary massively, my OH loves rope bondage and light bondage! I love heavy bondage and extreme play.
There's a good chance that if he wants to try bondage he will have looked it up on the internet and probably watched videos of what he wants. I told my OH what I liked, she looked it up so she knew what she was doing, got what she needed and surprised me when she was ready.
Either way there is a lot of good advice and ideas on the net that should help you make his dreams come true! I know mine did! X
Find a good BDSM checklist to find out what you both like and want from a scene (session in which you do BDSM).
Choose safe words that you can easily distinguish from other words (I found "red" to be confused with other words I may shout so use "banana" instead) and safe actions in case the sub can't speak or remember the word (shaking head, kicking, spitting a gag out).
Dominance is about power. You don't need any toys or hitting or restraints to do it (though they certainly can help!) it's about your mindset. They are at your disposal, use them!
Some subs like degredation or humiliation, discuss this before hand. Some like being called horrible names or belittled. Talk talk talk before hand and you'll be sure how to get into the mindset.
Also if you're doing anything intense make sure you get your sub nice aftercare. Everyones different but blankets, a sugary drink and being left by myself for a bit works for me but other people might need cuddles, tea or attention.