Thats actually a super helpful essay on the topic. Gave me alot more to think about that I have yet to consider.
Taking all that into consideration, it seems like I may have had a wildly inaccurate idea of sex workers/brothel employees.
Question though. What do you mean by an NSA scenario? No strings attached/friends with benefits kind of agreement?
That was and still is my go to idea at the moment.
Paying for sex is the last resort thought at the moment.
I have brought that idea up with some friends… but they are not even in the same country
This is actually the exact situation Im in. I kinda want to lose it but dont have the confidence and all to meet women and go on dates. (I havent even been on a date yet, got lots to catch up on XD)
Spent a good 10 years being a massive introvert and asexual, which has brought me to this scenario.
Only difference is it work colleague’s and not a sibling that may organise it
Friends with benefits is the first thing that came to mind a few years before I started considering just paying for the experience which started a few weeks ago.
I have talked to some people and it has been suggested that friends with benefits or a no strings attached fling seems more appropriate to my situation.
And adding what I have been reading here, seems alot safer and better in the long run aswell.
Thank you everyone for all the tips/advice/personal experience.
Certainly given me alot to think about and has made me think about holding off for a while and trying other things first.
Just some info for y’all.
I havent been on any dates or anything… ever, so naturally there is very little confidence there.
Also a bit of an introvert, so socialising and meeting people for proper connections is a bit rough.
(Considering dating apps atm)
I find myself going inbetween not wanting sex, to wanting the proper emotional/physical experience, and then sometimes just wanting to experience sex (hence this post)
One buddy I talked to suggested casual sex or a FWB partner would be a good way to go about it, which I now feel is the best route after reading all the advice here.
So yes, sorry NSA = no strings attached, apols for not clarifying
That is sensible, in my opinion.
If this became a last resort that you wanted to explore, I would personally suggest the online route. Just be very careful about the site you use, and ensure speak to lady first and trust your gut instincts.
By finding someone independent you’re far more likely to get your needs met.
The brothel experience I found very cold and impersonal, and unlikely to be that comforting/encourage experience you mentioned.
Reading your final post, I wonder if you might be better putting the Escort/FWB/Virginity thoughts to the side for a short while, and maybe look at the socializing and building connections, and see where that takes you - without there being a target in place of sleeping with someone.
It might help you understand what you are looking for more. Online dating can be rough in itself, or it was some 4 years ago when I last used it. Can find send a lot of emails with not a lot of response back.
I used to use an app call Meet Up, which advertised social groups for different hobbies, socializing in different ways. It might be worth having a look and seeing if there are any social groups near by that may be of interest to you, as it would give you a chance of socializing with people near by and seeing where that might take you with meeting people and building some connections as friends with ladies and see how that starts to feel, and it may help to build your confidence a little more.
I guess my suggestion is taking a little time and being kind to yourself.
Wishing you all the best, whichever direction you decide to take, enjoy the journey rather than focus on the destination
This maybe a betted option than paying someone…you will be surprised how many people want a ‘no strings’ relationship. That way you will have a connection. There is plenty of swingers sites.
I have no experience with this but can say it did go through my mind. I didn’t lose my V until I was 21! And I can safely say I’m glad it was with a now long term partner.
I cannot imagine paying to loose it and would personally advise not to. Surely you want it to be with someone you love and cherish in life?
100% have a think about this before you go ahead. Just remember you can’t go back so you want it to be a nice experience as otherwise it may put you off sex forever.
Being an, something age, I can recall the exact moment I lost my virginity. It was with a G/friend we were both virgins ,all these years later we are still friends.
The point being, if after a century-Okay not that long-I can recall that first experience then you will too. It is quite normal for the first experience to be over and done with pretty quickly but it is a pleasurable memory. Do you really want that memory to consist of a working girl who gave zero fecks about you? A girl who most likely did not want to be there, a girl who may actually be depressed about the situation she is in.
There are higher class escorts who do the work for the money, the clue is in higher class, they will charge a lot of money. If you can afford it and still want to use a working girl then go for the latter.
Just to put a downer on your quest, a lot of girls advertising on sex sites are trafficked, do you really want that on your mind? Add to that how safe are they? As in what precautions do they take? CIM, Anal, Sex without protection. Do you really want your first sexual memory of that seeing little things embedded into your pubic area, an increasingly scratchy and painful Penis?
Higher class ladies do make every effort to protect themselves, after all if they never they would not make money from men willing to fork out hundreds of pounds.
I waited until the right girl came along and I am pleased I did, that may not have happened to you yet but it will do. An old saying, there is someone for everyone in this world you just need to go out and find her.
Would you know which sites are safe with a good reputation? Had a buddy suggest Hinge for this, but I feel its more dating focused and not a no strings attached thing? Atleast I didnt see any profiles that suggested anyone was open for a casual sex/NSA relationship.
Hey
Just wanted to add a different side as a sex worker.
I have met a few men thro my website when me and hubby were on a break, and I needed to put food on the table.
Im not saying this is every escort, as I am just 1 person.
The guys I did meet, were great and we felt a connection, of the NSA, it wasn’t empty.
1 guy was, and I wasn’t attracted to him at all, and I have to say it was really awkward for both parties.
Again I cannot comment for every escort, but most are just in it for the money, for me, it was about validation after a tough marriage. I have to say, I didn’t get that.
I would check out hook up web sites, as you have more options than when paying for it.
Theres no date or time or script that you follow in life like; must have lost virginity at 21, married at 25, career by 26 kids by 28 etc
Life goes at its own pace for each person. There isnt a stigma attached because youve never had sex, and if people do go on about it, then get them to f*ck.
Dont rush it, dont sit and dwel on it, work on you, get sociable and things will work naturally, its not a teenie bopper movie script
Thank you for your advice from being a sex worker.
When you say a connection, is it just you and your client just getting along rather well? Like good chemistry and all? But both understanding the situation?
And whats some reliable hook up websites that you know of?
