Fisting

Hi all, been with OH just over 5 years. Just wondered does anyone ever fist there partner (we do it quite regularly) and you wonder if she’s ever done it before. I have asked and she said no but I was told by one of her friends when we was all drunk she knows of at least two guys that my OH told her about them fisting her. She says she enjoys it with me just wondered why she would hide that she’s done it with other guys in the past ?. Anyone have an insight as to why especially if you are a female woukd love to hear a lady’s perspective.

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Maybe she just wanted it to feel more special for you to think you was the only one :slightly_smiling_face:

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Your wife would be the best person to ask, I’m sure she’d also be curious as to why her friend is telling you things like that.

Maybe it was never really full fisting with the other 2 people, or maybe she doesn’t like talking about sex with other people, or maybe with you its so much better that now the other 2 experiences are not worthy of talking about :wink:

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Everyone has a past/past sexual history, i understand that you wanted to know and she has said no, yet her friend said different, but maybe she doesnt want to talk about previous relationships.

So what if shes done it before, she is with you now and loves you doing it, id leave it at that, otherwise you’d drive yourself mad.

For me i never ask about my husbands ex, or any one night hook ups, it would upset me (as obviously it has upset you) he has a past as do i, he will say sometimes (either in the early days or if we introduce something new to us) oh you like that? So youve done that before? i say no to shut him down immediately because i think the past is best left exactly there, in the past.

To be honest as a female im more concerned how the conversation came up with her friends, why her sex life/past is being discussed behind her back by people she is supposed to trust​:triangular_flag_on_post: why its anyones businesses but hers?

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I agree with this, i’d be annoyed that my friend is talking behind my back, but also that my husband is talking to my friend about our sex life.

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She was there with us we all openly talk about sex with each other when her friends visit. Just at that particular moment she happened to be out the room when I was told she’s done it before with other guys too. The topic of combo we including my partner was talking about was if any of her friends had done it before hence why it was mentioned.

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Well I guess that is different then if you all regularly discuss your sex lives over drinks and she had just stepped out.

But again i would say why does ot matter so much? what she did prior to meeting you isnt really anyones business, but you know this info now so, its maybe best to let her know her friend told you, chat about it so you can move forward.

The other thing to think about is if your partner was out the room is it possible the friend isnt telling the truth or doesnt know the truth . Maybe your partner had told her friend she had been fisted but she hasnt , there could be many reasons .
If you really need to know ask her , dont second guess it , that can lead to problems .
Myself and OH never discuss our past experiences with each other , we dont need to know what the other was getting up to before we got together

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This for me is a red flag in the friend: why wait until your OH is out of the room to say somethng? If you’re honest with one another, why can’t she be honest with you in front of her? That just seems like stirring up muck to me.

It’s possible that your partner lied to her friends to seem better than what she really is. We’ve all done it, we’ve all told little white lies so as not to seem completely inexperienced in front of our friends. Back in my teens I used to make up that I’d been with another girl because it seemed like everyone else was doing it and I didn’t want to seem like a boring virgin. Now, it doesn’t matter to me anymore. Even if I still haven’t been with another woman, I’ve had plenty of fun in other ways.

As others have said, it’s also possible that were it true, she wants to move on for whatever reason. I’ve got past relationships too, past relationships where I’ve wanted to forget things as well. I dated a man once and he went down on me, but he was really, really bad at it and I’ve often wondered why I let him do it in the first place (newsflash: who turns down oral?!). It may be that they were bad at it, or it may be that those relationships were unhealthy for one reason or another. What really matters now, though, is that she enjoys doing it with you :slight_smile:

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Thats fair enough then.
I will say however if you all really talked openly about sex, then this thread wouldn’t exist.

Talk to her with kindness, tell her what her friend said and take it from there. How the conversation goes will depend on the approach you take.

@adam.adpsec Maybe you’re wife knows you better than you realise so she didn’t tell you incase you didn’t take it well, and the fact youve gone behind her back to her friends and also moaned about it on this forum she’s probably right to keep it too herself.
We all have secrets from our past that will have no influence on now so they don’t really need to be known!!