Funny adult wedding stories

Sex Tips & Talk
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Another member posted a funny wedding night story, and I figured others may have some as well for entertainment purposes. I will leave it it up to them if they wish to share here as well.

During the after-after party the booze kept flowing. I lost my jacket, and then my tie. Shirt was unbuttoned and eventually removed. Had my newly wed not put me to bed I have no doubt I would have lost my pants at some point.

My bother is a scammer, sorry to say. He shagged two of the bridesmaids leaving them to believe he was local. By noon the next day he was on a plane heading to Vancouver some 2200 miles away. I was the brunt of their outrage.

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Thankyou for the referral. It wasn’t our wedding night, it was at our wedding breakfast. Fortunately I can be quite the actor when I need to be, so I was able to hold up a perfectly reasonable conversation with my husband, all while fighting my garter off - he still can’t believe I did it!

The funny one from our wedding night was his boxers.

There’s some backstory to this because my husband is “multi-national” (in a British sense) - he is 50% English, 25% Welsh and 25% Scottish. So the story goes, not long after we started formally dating I wrote in my diary that he was “50% English gentleman, 25% Welsh sheep (he has very curly hair!), 25% Scottish beast and 100% SEX GOD1!”. I forgot all about it until he helped me pack to move and accidentally read some of my diary, including, embarassingly, that page. He tormented me about it for a bit and life moved on, or so I thought.

On our wedding night, I got out of my dress and was somewhere in between that post-wedding state of “thank heavens that’s over” and also knowing what comes next. My husband and I aren’t always the most romantic, but I knew he would want our wedding night to be special and so I was trying to follow his lead. So, I’m trying to find my footing in this slightly awkward dance when I noticed it: there, on his boxers, were the words “sex god”. He was oh so proud of himself!

Your after-after party story made me laugh; we wives and newlyweds have a tendency to want to keep our gifts firmly wrapped until we can get them home.

I’m sorry to hear that you don’t have a great relationship with your brother, either. I try to get along with mine, but, we don’t - he has a sense of entitlement towards me and a belief that he can talk over me, that he knows better than me (and all this in spite of once openly admitting that he is jealous of me). The really funny thing is my mother thought he would be the first to fly the nest, and I would be the one who struggled. I got my first home at 24, married at 27 and started my my blog at 34, I’m also quite popular just for being myself. My brother, meanwhile, is 34, still living at home, unemployed, single, and tries too hard to be liked. My Mum often wonders why he can’t get a job or a girlfriend, and I don’t know that I have it in my heart to tell her that she’s raised a golden child “narcissist”.

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Not really a funny story more a shocking story.
I was invited to a wedding evening do by my mate very last minute as his date was ill.
Anyway, drinks were flowing, bit of dancing and then I got chatting to a lovely woman at the bar and all was well. She then whispered in my ear that she had a room upstairs and would I like to see it…?
The room was lovely and then one thing led to another and well, you can guess the rest.

Anyway, we tidied ourselves up and went back downstairs and went our separate ways to enjoy the rest of the party.

Then it I heard “and now it’s time for the first dance” and walking across the dance floor holding the hand of the groom was the woman I had just been upstairs with!!
I looked at my mate and said “she’s the bride…where’s her wedding dress” he proceeded to tell me that someone had knocked a bottle of red wine over her dress and so she changed into a different outfit. He looked at me and said why?..…”because I’ve just been upstairs having sex with her!!” Was my reply…
Needless to say their marriage didn’t last long….

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Before I was on the scene, my now husband was best man to his best friend, and the best friend’s sister was the chief bridesmaid. Now, many years before, my husband had said how pretty his mate’s sister was, and it turned out his mate had conspired to keep them apart. His sister found out and was very much not impressed.

Roll forward to the wedding and both my husband and the sister were winding the groom up that my husband was taking all the best man’s duties seriously, including shagging the chief bridesmaid.

The groom laughed, and they kept on even making a joke about shagging the bridesmaid in the speeches.

About halfway through the night, she made it clear she did actually want to f*ck, so they found a storeroom and did. They were amazed no one heard, because she wasn’t exactly quiet.

After they tidied themselves up, they went back to the party, and when the groom asked where they had been, they told him. He laughed, assuming it was still the gag.

He still thinks it is the gag when they mention it all these years later. They haven’t mentioned the dozens of other times they shagged since. :rofl: :rofl:

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That’s insane! I definitely have a shocking wedding story too. Long story short, “the best wedding ever” ended up being the worst wedding I’d ever attended, lasted 8 months and she apparently didn’t even want to go through with it anyway, though she kept and flogged all of her gifts. Needless to say, we’re no longer friends.

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It’s amazing how naive people can be. Hubby and I were “friends”, you know, friends through friends, we kept the “with benefits” silent, apart from when we had his Dad’s flat to ourselves. Nobody asked, so nobody knew :rofl:

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Haha @Tenshadesandme. Love it.

I’ve remembered a couple more.

Firstly from my own wedding. Because my body is crap, we decided to have our wedding night shag in the afternoon after the ceremony and before the evening meal.

My husband deliberately (bastard!) came very shallowly in me, and I was pantyless under my wedding dress, so for the entire meal, I was dripping cum. I made him lick it all up as punishment when we got back, but I love being made to drip and he knew it. Best way to end the day.

The other thing I remembered was at my then best friend’s wedding. It was the trend at the time to do a picture of the bride and bridesmaids in their wedding outfits lifting up their skirts and showing their pussies to the photographer. The bride insisted we did it, and me and the other bridesmaid agreed.

Come the moment and the other bridesmaid realised that she hadn’t shaved for ages, so she wouldn’t do it. One of the guest was a beautician, so off they went to the ladies and the bridesmaid’s pussy hair was removed. Ten minutes later, there were all three of us, proud bare pussies showing being photographed for the wedding album. We still tease her about it to this day - how on earth could she forget she’d agreed to do that!

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That’s brilliant @KinkyMira I could just imagine having a evening of looking at the wedding photo’s.

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Not really funny, but mildly amusing. My GF married my husband (yes, plural marriage) back in 2018. She’d always been told that she wouldn’t be able to have kids, and in fact they had tried many years ago when they were engaged. They hadn’t had sex since then (several years and relationships inbetween). So their first sex of their new marriage was on their wedding night, and some of it I actually recorded. GF missed her next period, and figured out that she literally got pregnant on the wedding night. So there’s video of their first kid being conceived. :rofl:

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