Funny cumshot

What is the funniest,surprise cumshot you have had with your partner? Where did it land, fly, or get sprayed? and what was the reaction?

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Interesting topic I can’t think of anything specific with my partner
Would be interested to see what your own personal experience was

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Once on holiday using a wand, accidentally plastered the headboard, wall above it and my wife’s hair.

Also once during solo time, i splattered the laptop keyboard, fortunately it didn’t short it out!

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@WillC definitely shot a few loads over headboards of various beds and walls and furniture beside the bed in my younger days lol but all during solo masturbation sessions and sadly now I’m in my 60’s it’s gotten to be more of a rarity lol

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I’m in my 60’s and still pretty torrential! :rofl:

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Maybe thirty years ago when I was about 25-ish, I was at a friend’s workplace. He’d just began a start-up company and rented a small office ā€˜suite’ and he was showing me round on a Saturday evening and for some reason he felt is appropriate that we were naked. (He knew I was a naturist even then)
Long story short, we ended up masturbating and in those pre-phimotic days I had a much better ā€˜range’.
I can see as clear as day, that I shot about six big spurts shot at least four feet (not joking) across the desk & coated the phone, apart from his amazed squeals, I recall the panic as he saw the semen was soaking into the speaker slot. (BT Norstar model :blush:)

Story 100% true.

Haven’t seen him for a decade or so now. We didn’t do anything like that again, but I am not ashamed.

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The OH got me one of these at Xmas time

https://www.lovehoney.com.au/sex-toys/male-sex-toys/male-masturbators/p/lovehoney-open-invite-clear-rechargeable-vibrating-male-stroker/a47125g84535.html

The first time using it together I was laying half on my side propped up on one elbow and I shot a couple metres right up over my head and all over the headboard of the bed. We were both in shock as I’ve never shot semen that far before that’s a new personal record :joy::joy:

The first time using the same toy solo I was laying in bed on my back and put a towel on my stomach to catch it all and and this thing made my cum shoot straight up all over my face and in my eyes … and there was a lot of it :joy::joy: 100% not what I was expecting …:joy: not sure what it is with this toy that makes me shoot so far but I make sure to point it in a different direction now :joy:

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@lowndsey it’s ages since I’ve cum in my own face
Need to try to get some in my face on cam with my guys

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One occasion i was sharing my ex with a friend.She was sucking his cock and alternately french kissing me so i got to have a little taste too.When he shot she sort of coughed and sneezed at the same time and come shot out of her nostrils landing on my face.It was both hilarious and sexy at the same time.

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@HappyInPanties I thought cum coming out of the nose was purely a porn thing usually happens in the face fuck type of porn
Must be amazing to see for real but wasn’t it unpleasant for her?

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She didn’t seem to mind and also found it quite funny thankfully.She did get really turned on watching me lick some off her face and swallow.It was amazing to watch too and have never seen the like before or since.

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@chuckychester35 I was fucking my ex Doggystyle pounding her hard and slapping her ass . During it I felt that I could not resist any longer and I was about to cum, I pulled my cock out her pussy without warning her. At that same moment, she turned behind her shoulder to ask me: ā€œwanna cum?ā€ my plan was to cum on her back but but the situation changed in moments, the semen started spurting out of my cock and a few ropes hit her on face .The laughter was loud and it was fun.

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Once during a particularly horny and long awaited climax I accidentally (and totally unintentionally) somehow shot a little on my cheek.
Only happened once and never managed it again. Still surprised.

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One that made me and my last partner chuckle, was when we woke up early as we had to organise a birthday party, so it was a bit of a rush to orgasam me being rather too excited my cum shot right into her eye and some landed in her fringe, she didn’t have time to try to get it all out of her fringe. You know how cum dries hard lol she did well at hiding it,but the worst for her was the red eye she got from my cum going into her eye, she had people coming up to her all day asking if she was ok.

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@teacake So funny :joy:

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Mrs W here …

To summarise, our funniest was a short while ago when Mr W had not long entered me and I suddenly realised Penelope had entered our room and proceeded to play with my body while loudly vocally urging Mr W on … at the point of orgasm, for some reason he withdrew and his cumshot hit both Pen and myself - she received about 90 percent of it over her nose and mouth. She immediately responded with ā€œThank you very much!!!ā€ in an extremely indignant voice and then went to the loo and then to her own room … it had me laughing so much that it seemed ages to get to sleep afterwards… still so funny … :rofl: :rofl: xx

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There was a time years back with someone else it went right up her nostril! :joy:

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With an ex I was laying on the bed while she gave me a Blowjob / Handjob.
As she was tugging me to finish, my jizz ended up everywhere from my forehead to my belly. We both laughed :rofl::rofl::rofl:

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Apparently there’s a knack to get it to fly far :joy: a certain technique :raised_hands:t4::raised_hands:t4:

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What about the snail trail from a woman does that count?

One time we were making out just kissing I had my trousers on but she was bottomless with no underwear sitting on me, we had the family coming round and as usual they came round earlier than expected, as I was clothed it was quicker for me to answer the door then my partner came down looked at me and gave me a cheeky grin and smiled and grabbed me saying we need to quickly get some milk from the corner shop, and lead me out to the back entrance through the kitchen, she gave me a kiss and whispered look down at yourself… :joy::yum: she had left a long streak across my leg very noticeable. she had noticed it when I rushed to answer the door but decided to let me answer the door​:joy:

Me being Me my first reaction was to take a picture and even though we aren’t together anymore I still have the picture. :yum::fire:

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