So my partner is has told me he wants to gag me .. As most of you will know if you read my intro here I'm new to all things sex toy related , so I was very surprised when my partner opened up to about this desire he has, I was hoping people could share their own thoughts of it as I'm not sure on it at the moment! I like the though of aspects of bondage and BDSM but I've never really thought about gags!

I hope I've posted on the right place and this is okay to ask!!

Thanks so much

D x

We hadn't ever considered a gag until quite recently then saw a silicon coated ring gag on LH and bought it on spur of the moment, it requires some trust from the wearer but can be great fun coupled with a blindfold to watch his/her face when something enters their mouth at the least expected moment.

Personally I am not keen on them as I would like to shout out my safeword if there is something I am not happy with. You will have to come up with some alternative system but make sure BOTH of you are always fully aware of what it is. It's best to do a abort drill before you start a session just to confirm understanding .

Just make sure you are also comfortable with the idea as well as I am not convinced that you are with your opening post.

If not tell your partner its something you will consider again in the future.

Remember play safe and enjoy yourselves .

Hi SweetiDebs, you sound unsure about this, have you told your partner that your not sure? Communication is key. When indulging in any sort of bondage play it is really important to have safe words, to stop things if they get a little too much for you or your not enjoying something. Now I understand that if you were wearing a gag then a safe word wouldn't work.

My very practical solution is to hold something in your hands, eg. Right hand red pair of knickers, and left hand a yellow scalf. Yellow for I'm not sure proceed with caution and red for STOP. You can then express your wishes by waving the item, even if your hands are bound as long as the items are clearly visible, it should work.

Having said this before you do anything you must test your safe word alternatives, in a non play situation. You must discus any concerns you have, like "I'm worried I will not be able to breath" or "I'm worried I might choke". It's only fun as long as you are both having fun. There are breath through ball gags avalible, but one of the O ring gags might work best for a first time play. Rather than being blindfolde as well the first time, why not suggest the room be dark with just a couple of candles lit or a dim lamp on, so that there is some light but not enough for you to see what is coming. This should help with any chlostrophobic fears.

Please promise me you will not do anything your not sure of. Communication is vital.

Thanks for all the advice so far!

Funlouise you are totally correct, I think I'm going to speak to him tonight and just let him know how I'm feeling, I want to make him happy and do the things he wants but if I'm not comfortable it will only make me hold it against him in the future which is something I don't want to do!

I like the idea with the coloured knickers! Something which is very unmissable!!

I promise I won't do anything unless I'm 100% happy with it!!

D x