I have been having gay sex a long time, but often things can become bit messy. I am a bottom, and highly sexed! Do any guys have any tips. I have to douche about 4-5 times before sex so I know that I am clean. I do suffer with ibs, but would just like to be relaxed and enjoy sex without this happening and causing me embarrassment. Please help 😐x
Hi Simon. Your post has been up since yesterday, so I'll offer what I can - I'd suggest seeing a Naturopath about your IBS, and getting that sorted. It's likely to be an emotionally based issue, perhaps you could explore that some? For sure being anxious about mess isn't going to help. And - with anal sex there's always a risk of a little poo. It is the bum's job, after all. I hope some of the guys have more ideas for you. Relax. It helps with everything.
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Simon, you are douching wrong, a douche should be only a little water to rinse out your rectum. If you take too much water doing a douche it will make things messier not cleaner. My advice though is to have a high volume enema before one of your sessions. Done right, this will empty the entire colon of waste, leaving your squeaky clean for at least several hours after and if combined with diet high in fibre a day or two beforehand 12-24 hours of no waste.
Gran wrote:
Hi Simon. Your post has been up since yesterday, so I'll offer what I can - I'd suggest seeing a Naturopath about your IBS, and getting that sorted. It's likely to be an emotionally based issue, perhaps you could explore that some? For sure being anxious about mess isn't going to help. And - with anal sex there's always a risk of a little poo. It is the bum's job, after all. I hope some of the guys have more ideas for you. Relax. It helps with everything.
Naturopathy or naturopathic medicine is a form of alternative medicine that employs an array of pseudoscientific practices branded as "natural", "non-invasive", and as promoting "self-healing". The ideology and methods of naturopathy are based on vitalism and folk medicine, rather than evidence-based medicine. —— Everyone is entitled to their own, but suggesting an intervention that has no scientific basis, meaning every scientific study into naturopathic treatments found them to be either wholly ineffective or at best a placebo, is bad advice IMO.
Hi Simon
As KingGirthy has suggested, I think you're douching too much.
Using too much water in your douche, or douching to close (in time) to when you expect anal play actually increases your risk of mess. You need to use just a small amount of water in the rectum (no deeper) and need to give your body time to properly expel the water. Otherwise the water simply acts to soften any stools, or as an enema (which is designed to remove waste from your bowels.)
Also, as someone who suffers with IBS, I'd recommend against douching at all really or at least limiting it to occasional use. Every time you douche you remove the good bacteria from your gut, which can contribute to digestive problems and could be worsening your IBS.
My advice would be to try to give up douching altogether if you can. If you're nervous about this, try not douching before you play alone (rather than before couples play) so you can get used to the fact that no-douche penetration is actually very clean.
(Eg: I enjoy anal play and have never douched in my life.)
Follow these steps:
1) Go to the toilet before play. Preferably 40-60 mins before play, but anytime that day is good.
2) Clean externally
3) Warm up with small toys / fingers
4) Use LOTS of water-based anal lube. For you, I'd recommend choosing a lube that contains very few ingredients, and that those ingredients are body-friendly, so as not to upset your gut.
The more relaxed and prepared you are, the less likely you are to have mess and, if there is a little bit, it really is minimal. Nothing to worry about.
Separately, from where you've douched frequently in the past, it may be worth you looking into taking a prebiotic, to replace the bacteria in your gut. You may even find it helps to improve your IBS symptoms (but do check with a doc before doing this.)
Good luck!
I think the posts above have hit every nail on the head, Iv always found a douche session can keep things a little cleaner down below but would always give a good hour or so after to make sure all the excess water has gone. But 4-5 is excessive and could lead to more mess. Anal can be quite clean as Jess has suggested without the need for a douche so maybe just play around with this while you go solo and see what happens. A high fibre diet will also help massively and try and stay clear of anything you know triggers your IBS. I have had a lot of issues with my tum over the years and have only just now found a diet that works for me, so look into what you eat and try and steer clear or anything too spicy etc. Also as suggested above, don’t focus on the “mess” as this can cause more problems and makes the sex far less of a pleasure and more panic.
Considering Jess Wilde comments on IBS, while enemas can be an effective treatment for IBS (so I’ve read), I would advise caution before trying to self administer. Before going down that route it would be advisable to speak to a medical expert. An enema can deplete your gut bacteria badly and the medium used for the enema could potentially cause irritation as well. Enema is only really necessary if you are trying to go deep or particularly large, but if it’s just sex then it isn’t really necessary. As she said as well, anal sex isn’t that messy, your rectum stays pretty clean. Diet is important, eat things like brown rice and chicken, lots of fibre and green vegetables. If you do decide to douche, try just a single bulb of water, use it sitting or standing upright and expell the water shortly after taking it in to avoid it passing into your colon. Some great foods for gut health are raw live sauerkraut, pickled beetroot, kimchi (spicy), kefir, kombucha, and miso, they are generally more effective than yoghurt.