Genital herpes help

This is a question for a good friend, Unfortunately they caught herpes off their last sexual partner.
They are now single and have been for a while, they would like to be back in the dating game for either a bit of fun or eventually a new relationship but one thing that has held them back is the stigma, as they put it, of having to tell potential partners they have herpes,
Is there a way they can have sex without the worry of the sexual partner catching herpes from them? Are there any treatments, creams, even some sort of sexual barrier that they can use that will protect the sexual partner or is it as they fear they will have to tell the person and hope it doesn’t put them off having sex or a relationship?

1 Like

Sorry, I have no experience of this but I would think this would be something to discuss with a doctor, pharmacist or sexual health clinic. It’s best to ask a professional because they will be able to give your friend the best advice. Hopefully someone else here will be able to help but I’d still run it past a professional to be on the safe side.


Get to the go or sexual health clinic - there is no safe method and it’s very contagious


Most of the questions I ask on here “are for a friend” too… :wink: J/K That would suck… be careful as they can turn into other things.


@valbowski77 It really is actually for a friend, a female friend who is struggling to deal with having to be honest about having herpes!
She’s very vanilla so the LH forum is not for her so thought I’d ask on her behalf.
I can thankfully say I’m herpes free.

She needs to learn about it. I don’t think there is ever a safe time.

I’d be furious if someone I had sex with had herpes and put me at risk by not telling me and giving me the opportunity to decide for myself whether I want to engage or not.


They need to go to a sexual health clinic, they see people from every background there’s no judging, I should know my mum was the receptionist at the one in our local area in the past.

Really worth her going to Family Planning/ sexual health clinic. Most at risk when sores are present, but never risk free. She could ask about prophylactic daily antivirals which lowers chance of passing on and team that with condoms. However, even with condoms not entirely risk free. Dental dams can be used for oral too. Hard convo to have, but she may feel better about it if she can tell them she is on supression meds so risk really low.

@steviefun, Thanks you, the type of reply I was after, I believe she has been to a sexual health clinic but she wants to know how others who have it live with it as she was hoping they might be able to give first hand advice, if the medication given can help and how people tell new partners as herpes has such a stigma about it, she not the most confident person when it comes to dating and this has added extra pressure she really didn’t need through no fault of her own.

not personal experience, but tell her soooo many people have herpes in the world, she is not alone, it is inconvenient, can be painful, but is not hepatitis or HIV …

1 Like

I’m still mystified about what herpes is… but with any sexual STI/STD I’d always recommend if your having sexual intercourse of any nature it’s better to tell the other person as it’s their right to be made aware of anything incase of the unlikely hood it gets passed on :grimacing:

Is herpes curable or will they be stuck with it forever?


@AJSTAR As far as I know you’re stuck with it forever, it’s the same infection as cold sores on mouths and that’s one way of catching it, through oral sex as well, it can be bad when you first get it, clear up but it never goes away and like cold sores can flair up at anytime, it can even be contagious even when there are no physical signs of infection.
Maybe this will make it clearer.

@AJSTAR think coldsores of the genitals. a virus that lays dormant and then flares from time to time

1 Like

Woah!!! That’s freaky yet oddly sounds like the least bad kind of sexual thing you could end up with catching as I suppose like when we’ve all had chicken pox, it’s a virus what stays with us forever and can come back as shingles in later life…
Plus people commonly have cold sores without worry or judgement so hopefully they won’t find any negativity towards them by telling others about what they have :thinking:

Kinda sounds ouch! But yet not as bad as some other things you could catch I guess