Quick question if you caught your OH wearing your knickers or lingerie what would your reaction be? Or what would like him to wear?
I enjoy wearing my wifes underwear as it feels good on. I have brought it up to her about my fetish but she aint keen on it. The other night I did have a wet dream of her grinding on me whilst wearing her silky knickers, then took them off got me to wear them while rubbing and stroking until I came. Then woke up with my boxers extremely wet, being 43 I thought I’d grown out of wet dreams, but can not get it out of my head.
A lot of men, myself included, wear female underwear or lingerie and the reasons are as different as the individual.
Some literally find it more comfortable, others feel it connects them with their feminine side, some do it for gender identity reasons and genuine “cross dressing”, some like the idea of something considered taboo or “risky”, some just like the kinkiness of it. Some wear it everyday and don’t even own male underwear, some try it maybe once and never do it again.
Whatever the reason, it’s you. And only you know the reason you want to do it. There’s nothing wrong with doing it, no one’s being directly harmed and if it makes you feel good, why shouldn’t you do it?. It also doesn’t mean you’re gay, want to be female Or want to fully look like one.
The challenge you’ve got is your partner doesn’t sound supportive and no matter the kink that’s a tricky one.
She may be embarrassed by the thought of someone she’s always considered the “strong” one in the relationship wearing clothing considered effeminate (and the automatic assumption of gender identity/homosexuality issues as mentioned above), she may be confused as to just why you’d want to do it, or she may feel betrayed in that you’re doing something behind her back.
As with any fetish or sexual desire, open and honest communication is the key. Talk to her about what it is that draws you to wearing lingerie. Ask her what she doesn’t like about it and go from there. If she really Is against it you’ve got a few choices…give up on the idea (and maybe be forever frustrated), gain the trust and support of your partner and enjoy the kink freely and maybe even involve her with things like choosing lingerie for you (we love this aspect btw) or carry on behind her back and risk the consequences of her finding out and no doubt feeling lied to.
One key thing that sticks out is you’ve described it as being “caught” wearing lingerie. You haven’t been caught, it’s not a crime. Maybe consider it being “discovered” wearing lingerie and ask her to look at it the same way.
It’s funny, I read on here all the time people doing amazing things and I think how lucky they are and I wish my OH did that to me. But then I read posts like yours and realise that I am also lucky. My OH often does to me what your wet dream was about.
for me, I’ve always known I need both male and female clothes in my life. But it took some time to explain this to my OH. It took a few conversations and plenty of open dialogue between us. But we are now in a space where it’s normal for us to share underwear and to know each others desires. And through open and honest discussions, we both get a lot of pleasure out of it. My thoughts on it would be patience and talking honestly and openly with each other. Hope your dream becomes reality, coz it feels so good
I own some lace underwear. It’s not female, they’re lace boxer briefs (no thongs or anything like that for me). I think mine is a combination of comfort and a slightly ‘naughty’ aspect. I don’t have any desire to cross dress / wear my wife’s underwear (no judgement, just doesn’t float my boat). I’m a fairly beefy 6ft2 bloke who’s bald so I don’t think I’d have tried it if I did have that inclination anyway! Again, just my opinion.
My wife knows. She’s not keen on it, but she’s not against me wearing it. I genuinely find it more comfortable. But I also like how they look.
Never been caught wearing lingerie as OH knows I like to wear it and has bought me a few sets of my own panties bras stockings suspenders she has also hinted she is going to buy my some breast forms to wear with my bras she said I will have to get the correct size so you can wear one of my corsets properly as I know you like the look of them and asked if I would like to wear one tonight as we were going to our friends house ( Jen and Christines ) house for some celebration drinks as they have just become a couple but girls dress like men and men as women but that changed mid afternoon yesterday when it was decided everyone had to wear a dress or other female attire i said can I try it on first you may not like me in it so I did and she said I’ll adjust it a little so it fits better then filled cups of it to fill them out stood back and said yes you can wear this tonight and I’ll have a look on lovehoney to get you your own might get you a couple one of which is going to be a wet look one
That’s good to hear she isn’t against it, I don’t understand loving partners that is totally against it and won’t have a partner wearing them at all, It’s just clothing one rule should be for all, like women wearing mens clothing. This is why I always say sit down and explain why you like something.
In the past few years my o’h has become more and more interested in lingerie for herself than ever to enhance her body confidence and self esteem, probably like most women have always done to be fair.
However it’s not something I’ve ever been bothered about. She looks great and everything, but it causes no more arousal for me than if she didn’t bother. I encourage and compliment her of course, but can’t quite feel it.
Anyway more recently she has been encouraging me to wear her stuff so I know how smooth they feel on her and how good she feels. For birthdays etc I’ve been given some of my own to wear for her and I am happy to oblige.
I hope people understand that even though it doesn’t do much for me, if it makes her feel better that I do, and also the fact she is more raunchy by enjoying me in her underwear then all is good.
I know some people would love to swap places with me, especially those closet dressers, but I am being totally honest, even if there is something wrong with me lol.
My OH buys my lingerie for me and she pick stuff she would like to see me in and she is the same as my OH she does get more turned on when she sees me wearing it and no that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with us. My OH quite often if we’re going out will pick out what I wear under my clothes and just the other day when I was off she left an outfit for me to wear and told me I had to be wearing it sitting on the sofa when she got home as she had a surprise for me
I have Been “Discovered” wearing lingerie in the past by my Mother (it didn’t go Well ! ) and at a later date by my Ex Wife ( It went even worse !!!, and No it wasnt the cause of our divorce).
When I met my now Wife I decided that the truth needed to be told because after 4 years of being single Dressing was now a regular activity.
So i told Her about my love of dressing and the lingerie, dresses and shoes I had, Her answer was “Show Me, Dress for Me “, So I Dressed in a Black Basque, Stockings, French Knickers, satin slip and 4 inch heels, I walked into the bedroom and She looked me up and down and then said “ You Tart, I Love You” and that was the beginning of 30 years of mutual fun.
When She was working and I was at Home I would dress and send her photos of me dressed, Or She would tell me what to wear and I would have to send a photo to prove I was wearing what she asked me to.
I often wear lingerie under my male clothes, stockings, Suspenders, Knickers etc, It is so arousing felling the pull of the suspenders as I walk, and the silkyness of the satin on my body.
I learnt from my previous encounters that Honesty is the best policy, No Partner likes Secrets in there life, Be Honest, be Truthful and Be Your self.
One of the reasons I like to wear lingerie - and I think it was a key to why it was received ok when I told my wife - is the thrill of wearing the same items I find super attractive on her and having them on all day at work is a constant prompt to think of what she looks like when she is wearing them.
If that holds true for you, it could be a helpful explanation.
I would laugh really, really hard (because I can’t imagine him ever doing this), then I would be ok with it as long as he didn’t actually want to turn into a woman and divorce me for another man. If he just liked wearing my knickers for fun but remained straight and faithful to me it wouldn’t bother me.
And that’s the thing. Wearing lingerie doesn’t automatically mean a man wants to be a woman or even look like one that much. I know I don’t and I’m well aware that I undoubtedly look ridiculous, stupid and even a bit of a freak wearing a full bra, lace trimmed knickers and matching suspenders with stockings. I just like doing it, I’m not even sure why. OH also likes it. She likes the idea of me being fulfilled and she admits she in herself does find it a strange turn-on and also can’t quite put her finger on it but in the same way I don’t wear lingerie to look like or become a woman, finding it appealing also doesn’t mean she has a secret thing for women either.
