Heya, Haven’t been as active on the forum for the past week but I am back.
I had a question and wanted to know if this is something other people have experienced.
I have found that whenever I masturbate through clit stimulation as soon as I orgasm I just get super turned off and almost feel disgusted.
I haven’t experienced this with a partner or through a G-stop orgasm, just with clit stim when I am alone.
I researched this and found this article
which I didn’t really understand so though I would bring it to the forum as I’m sure some of you lovely people with have your own comments which may be useful.
Yeah I wouldn’t say I’m turned off, but no longer as interested, and find the area generally too tickly for a while.
Usually both of us want to sleep after it lol.
@Sophie01 whilst I only had a quick read of the attachment it appeared some people mentioned or made an inference about psychological things (depressed,anger etc) whilst it may be none of my business but if when you were young parents or older people had a go at you for touching or fiddling “down there”.
Im not a pysc but if people were taught not to touch “down there” when young that concept may have transitioned into adult hood ?
Hi @Sophie01 I can totally relate. I feel similar. I can have more than 1 orgasm but after I’ve finished I feel awful, guilty and my mood is low. I only have orgasms from clit stimulation so I don’t know if it would be different with a g-spot one. I don’t tend to get the same feelings if I have an orgasm with my OH and we have penetrative sex, only if I am on my own or masturbsting with him and he doesn’t orgasm too.
I think it might have something to do with how I was brought up but sex wasn’t talked about at all so I don’t think anyone would have said anything negative to me about it since it was never discussed.
I wonder, for me, if it has something to do with a need to feel wanted by my OH. If I’m masturbsting alone then it tends to mean he isn’t interested (I have a much higher sex drive) or if we are together and he doesn’t want to finish, then I feel like he doesn’t want me or find me attractive and I end up feeling guilty or angry depending on my general mood.
Hey @Sophie01! This is a tricky one, and difficult to comment on without knowing other details, and do feel it’s maybe something to chat through with a professional about. But these are some thoughts:
Feeling disgusted afterwards definitely sounds like there is an element of shame or guilt, whether subconsciously or not. Whether that’s from societal beliefs and growing up being told that women shouldn’t/don’t wank, religious or cultural upbringings, or because of anxiety/doubts of self worth etc. Thinking back to one of your other posts, it could even be something linked to feeling you’re either masturbating too much/not feeling completely satisfied when you do.
There’s a phrase called “post nut clarity” - whilst this is usually used in a jokey way as a way of reasoning with decisions you’ve made when horny, I do think there is something behind it. There’s a lot of science still unknown about the female orgasm (which continues to feel bizarre to me but hey ho) and so it’s a tricky one, but we know there are certain chemicals released during sex, masturbation and during orgasms. From what I understand, after orgasm endorphins rush to your brain with adrenaline and serotonin. Endorphins are the first to leave your brain and this leaves adrenaline which can either give you clarity (almost like when people watch porn are instantly like wtf once they’ve come) or leave you with other responses. I think rather than it being something specific to a clitoral orgasm, it could just be the balance of different chemicals being released? It could also be that you take more time with G-spot orgasms (as they’re more commonly harder to achieve) and partnered sex, so feel more satisfied and as such less guilt?
If it’s a recent thing, then I’d give it some time, but if it continues or has been going on for a long time then it would definitely be worth talking to a professional if possible. A psycho-sexual therapist would probably be best if it’s something you’re able to do.
Sorry - lots of ramblings and splurging out thoughts on the page, but hope it’s made a bit of sense?!
There are possibly some nurture aspects but I think it must be some random brain chemistry too. That ‘post-nut clarity’ is definitely a thing. I wasn’t brought up in a religious household, fortunately was never abused, and never taught that sex was shameful in any way, but still sometimes I would also get that post-orgasm guilt feeling. Like it was wrong of me to do… No idea why. I would tell myself it’s normal to explore your own body. Luckily it’s long a thing of the past and I don’t feel guilt about it. Learn to love your body!