I’ve been dating this girl for around a month, we’ve had sex ~5 times.
The sex has been really great, we’re both really into it, but as she told me before we even had sex, she has a hard time reaching an orgasm, cannot have it during sex.
I’ve told her many times that it’s not a problem for me to orally please her until she finishes, however long it takes. The last time we’ve had sex I decided to go down on her, I was eating her out for a pretty long time, then switched to using my hands (which I’m not the best at, but I’m very open to learning and improving as I’ve said to her). What seemed to make previous girlfriends I’ve had orgasm doesn’t seem to work on her that well/fast, which is fine everyone is different and I’m open to learning which I’ve told her many many times…
So after she got close she pretty much removed my hand and finished herself off,
Should I be fine with this? Should I talk to her about it? Definitely made me feel a bit mad, used and like I’m not enough in a way I guess, any advice would be kind, thank you 
That’s a pickle
Firstly she could have been just there and in the moment, went to what she knew would get her there without causing to much frustration. But it excludes you unintentionally.
As for the techniques and all that I would say you are both still in the getting to know you/learning phase of the relationship and things take time.
While mine is the first response there will be more to follow from many an insightful member of the forum.
Happy to talk more and enjoy the journey you’re on together.
I suggest you take the positives from this. The fact that she’s happy to finish herself in front of you shows that she is clearly very comfortable in your presence. Which is a great place to be at together.
It is clear that you are putting in a good amount of effort into pleasuring her, which I’m sure she really appreciates and enjoys. I would try to avoid putting too much pressure on reaching the end goal and continue to ensure your both enjoying the experience. If she feels the urge to take over I would try to enjoy watching her in that intense state of pleasure.
My wife of 50 years has rarely orgasmed through penetration and orgasms from oral about 50% of the time.
I am quite happy for her to finish herself off either during the sexual activity or afterwards. In fact we have a number of compact vibrators bought specifically for use during PIV, oral or occasionally anal.
I do not feel inadequate or threatened by this. People are wired differently and she has slready told you that she finds it difficult to orgasm.
Just go with it and gave fun.
Personally i would rather watch my wife make herself come with a toy than come myself.
Have the conversation with her in an open and calm way, maybe she would like to be penetrated by you while she finishes herself? My wife enjoys this and I can usually time my release for the same time or just after.
Perhaps she’d enjoy your using a wand or sucker on her? That way you’re still in control of the toy so it’s still you doing it?
Or if you want to do it with your fingers or tongue suggest the “back of the hand” method. This is basically you use your fingers/tongue and she rubs the back of your hand in the rhythm/motion she needs it to be. You get to learn the way she likes it without her getting frustrated by saying “left a bit, right a bit, down a bit, faster, too fast…” etc.
The big takeaway from it though: don’t think you’re bad at it, she just likes it exactly how she knows she likes it.
I’m one of those women who struggles to get ‘there’. I rarely orgasm through penetration alone and need to have stimulation on my clit at the same time or it has to be deep, fast and rough.
I’d suggest speaking to her, ask her what you can do to help her over that edge.
I wouldnt feel upset or disappointed that she finished herself, like @Wood_Wow said, take that as a huge positive that she felt comfortable enough to do that 
As previously said it’s so much harder for some women to cum thru penetration. My wife is similar she need clit stimulation to cum. We use the L/H clit sucker. When she’s close I let her finish herself there is nothing hotter 
I masturbate wile she is and when we are both close I’ll cum on her pussy and send her over the top. As she says the end goal is for us both to cum. It’s a team effort 
there are also times I’ll finish myself off
Tell how horny it made you watching her masturbating. Suggest that you have a mutual masturbation session as she is obviously up for it. Watch what she does. Tell her you want to learn how she gets to orgasm as you want to please her.
Good for her, she wasn’t disrespecting you, you had probably brought her close to orgasm and just instinctively knew what would take her over the edge. It would have been very frustrating for her, if she had lost the feeling at the crucial point because you didn’t quite stimulate her in the right way.
It might be worth a conversation about what happened and when she isn’t quite so caught up in the moment, have her show you how to masturbate her to get her to achieve her orgasm.
Few women orgasm from penetration alone, for us it necessitates the OH playing with her wand on her clit whilst I penetrate her. This ensures that we both climax together, so it is a win.
I wouldn’t worry about it at all, some ladies need to do it to get off, which doesn’t mean you are doing a bad job at all, and some ladies just like to do it, and again it doesn’t mean you are doing a bad job.
I’ve talked to my girlfriend before as she loves to rub her clit during sex and she says it intensifies things for her. In fact, she seems to love to rub herself anytime and I love seeing her do it!
Congratulations on her, she told you beforehand she has trouble having an orgasm, she took control when she needed to. What would you have preferred she faked it and then waited till you were asleep to make herself come. We all want to be a sex god and be able to bring our partners to orgasm with one touch, life’s not like that.
Yes, as previously been said, if she is comfortably enough to masturbate in front of you, I would take that as a huge complaint.
Your only been dating for about a month, yet you have “told her MANY MANY times”. I think you’re getting a bit ahead of yourself here.
The one thing that’s not clear to me is that after she brought herself off, was that the end of it or did you go back to penetration and cum yourself.
If you got to cum and she got to cum, great outcome, take a chill pill and enjoy the ride, pun intended.
If she got to cum and left you high and dry, yes, a conversation needs to be had at some stage outside the bed. You just need to work out if she has trouble coming and needs to take over at times, what you need to do, take matters into your own hands so to speak or request she helps you relieve the situation, what are you comfortable doing, remembering she has already masturbated in front of you. She may get too sensitive after orgasm to go back to penetration straight away. Are you comfortable to masturbate in front of her, perhaps it’s time to schedule a mutual masturbation session.
This is a lot for a new relationship and would be confronting, but better to get it sorted sooner rather than later.
All the best, let us know how you get on.
I’m a woman like that, I have a lot of difficulty having an orgasm and I can’t reach it without a clit sucker/wand.
If he tries with his fingers, I won’t cum. If he’s the one in control (toys), he might not be in the right place and not realize - I won’t cum. So that part is up to me.
Does he get upset? No. He couldn’t be happier with the fact that I can have orgasms. 
I have the best orgasms when I use my clit sucker while he is fuxxing me really hard. 
I’ll tell you something. I spent a lot of my life faking orgasms so as not to hurt his ego. I’m not proud of it, but he, as the man, was supposed to make me cum wasn’t he? Society has made us believe this our entire lives. 
I have never been able to have an orgasm through vaginal penetration. Even if he stimulated my clitoris - I didn’t even know - we know today that the chances of me cumming were very low.
So yeah, you should talk to her, about whether she has a womanizer and if she doesn’t, whether she wants one! 