Girlfriend has never reached orgasm

Hi, I’m a 22 year old male and my 22 year old girlfriend has never had an orgasm before.

She’s had one previous sexual partner and she never had an orgasm with him either nor has she managed one through masturbation (not that she had attempted this many times)

We sometimes get close, I’ve given her clitoral stimulation both orally and using fingers and she has reached a point where she gets very tense and shakes but never quite finishes.

What can I do to take her to orgasm?

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22 that’s young so nothing to worry about, taking your time plenty of foreplay many people skip on that or doesn’t take enough time. Talking to her to find out what she likes O definitely plenty of kissing :lips:

Possibly putting too much pressure on herself to cum which might actually stop it, or the worry of letting go, just need to take time accept it wont happen every time? A toy might help, the LH rose can really make my wife react in ways shes not previously but again buying a toy with expectation might not give results to start with, took my wife and i 30 years to know each other

Welcome to the forum dude!
The best way for this is to not think so much into it and just enjoy exploring with her and trying different things to see if it helps.

Welcome to the club and thanks for your predicament
While it’s unfortunate that she has not yet reached orgasm- it probably will happen in time
Don’t rush matters and get her to enjoy playing with herself - I would recommend warning gel - this gives a nice lube but little tingle where needed - and while she plays (suggest a clitoral vibrator) play with her boobs slowly and gently :lovehoney_heart:

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Hell I’m 35 and I didn’t reach orgasm with a partner until I was 27. Don’t sweat it, it will happen when it wants to :slight_smile:

As others have already said, don’t put pressure on her - nothing ruins the chance of orgasm for me like the feeling that I’m being pressured to cum (alright, so paradoxically, I do have a forced orgasm fantasy that just doesn’t work in reality :joy:). Enjoy your time togrther and enjoy pleasure for pleasure’s sake. If something is working for her, she’ll let you know and for heaven’s sake, Do. Not. Stop. Do not change anything. Just… keep doing what you’re doing.

If you normally go hard and fast, go slow and gentle. Hard and fast makes me want to yeet my lover out through the bedroom window, slow and gentle makes me want to order them pizza for afterwards.

Compliment her. It sounds corny, but those sweet words can soothe away our insecurities and body hang ups. The more she feels like you’re enjoying yourself, the more she may relax and enjoy herself too. Just don’t overdo it. Be genuine.

One last little tip: gently finger her while you go down on her. Sometimes our clits get hypersensitive, a little gentle fingering can help distribute the pleasure and get our juices flowing.

Good luck, and I hope this helps :slight_smile:


It’s mental not physical. You’re possibly now both too aware that it’s always in the back of your minds when you fool around, and that’s getting in the way.

Have sex and don’t make an orgasm the goal … do it to connect and enjoy each other.

You can try things too - like say you’re going to use your fingers, mouth or a toy on her for 10mins, no more, no less … if she comes fine, if not, fine. Take orgasms out of the thought process.

… when she eventually gets there, you are BOTH going to loooove it :partying_face:

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Three ways nearly every single lady orgasms. Through the clit when having sex like rubbing it etc having the g spot rubbed during sex or having a cervix orgasm through really deep penetration. If your not long enough plenty of toys available to help. I’ve worked out about 7.5inches or above is usually enough to hit the spot. Has she ever orgasmed form deep penetration ?

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So much this.

Keep on exploring and encourage her to play by herself, but so much of it is in the head and learning to relax into it. It took me so long to learn to orgasm by myself, and then much longer to be able to relax enough with someone else. But with patience and gentle encouragement I got there. It was worth waiting for! I now orgasm so easily- 10-20 times a session, in all sorts of ways, including on command, squirting, the lot.

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