My girlfriend and I have amazing sex and I am madly in love with her.. however I get incredibly turned on at the thought of her with other men. I know this is a common fantasy. I love the idea of her being satisfied by new things, seeing her capacity for arousal being stretched. I get excited about the feeling of jealousy and the voyeurism of seeing her through new eyes. Feeling her for the first time. Is this something anyone here has played with? Does it destroy or strengthen your relationship? How do you test how you would feel about it without going too far?
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Have you mentioned it to her?
There's little point in even thinking about it if she's dead set against it.
1st thing is having a conversation between the two of you to find out where you both stand and where your boundaries are. Most guys love the idea of a threesome and have a fantasy about them with two girls and like you say the thought of sharing could be more common that 1st thought. I have had 1 threesome which was my friend brought back a girl and she asked if I wanted to join in, I did and it was fun but I had no personal connection. Me and my current partner have both talked about possibly threesomes and while the idea seems a turn on in reality we decided we wouldn’t want to see the other one with someone else. I don’t think there is a correct way of saying if it will bring you together as it might because you are going into your fantasy and trying new things which could spice things up on the other hand it could be she does it for you and doesn’t want to, or you do get more jealous than you thought and you are bringing more people into your relationship you need to weigh things up as a couple first.
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She knows it’s something that turns me on. She has described being with another man whilst playing with me .. so she knows how much I like it. I think she may be reluctant to explore it for fears over jealousy. Occasionally though I do think she might like the idea, she’s open minded and loves sex. I wonder whether a swingers club is a good way to test the feelings in a safe way or if the experience is terrible.
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I really enjoyed going to swingers clubs and found them to be a safe environment to start to explore 🙂 also a lot less pressured than you think. Check the reviews out first
It all depends on the people, my threesome with my ex was the start of the end of our marriage which wasn't that sturdy to begin with.
So basically I don't really count it as it wasn't a "real threesome, just oral" and was not a positive experience.
Anyway when all parties can communicate and talk through any issues or feelings it cause it can be a great thing. So my advice start slow and be mind full that this is new and make sure everyone is constantly ok with whats happening.
I love many fantasies that will remain fantasies . Have been offered to join a number of friends and their wives or girlfriends after I got divorced . I turned them all down because I was afraid of losing life long friends . I know people that have done so and did so many times and stayed together and I also know friends that did it once and broke up or got divorced . I have zero experience with swingers clubs , but that does sound like a good way to go .
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This is us down to a T. We have spoken about it as a couple, and I have agreed a club is where we will start. Not necessarily to do anything but to get familiar with the idea a bit more and watch others.
@Sanjuro I was ask by a very good friend and his girlfriend if me and my other half would be interested in a partner swap but I turned it down because of our connection as friends but also it may destroy our friendships/relationships.
However I had a threesome in the late 90’s with two girls after a night out. It turned out the other morning it was mother and her daughter.
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I did not expect that twist at the end!
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I remember many years ago the same happened to me! Happy times !!
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I also love this idea in my own head but do wonder if it would be the end of things as I know them, did suggest it got a NO so never pushed it again, I love watching her use her toys so that will have to do
Not for me, but you need to find out what both your thoughts are, play with fire you could get burnt…
Many years ago before I met my wife, I had a casual sex kind of arrangement with a girl I knew through work and a friend of hers joined us on a number of occasions.
Although we were great mates, found each other physically attractive and really clicked in bed ( for someone I didn’t really have an emotional connection with, the sex was pretty incredible and effortless - we just kind of ‘got’ each other physically), there was no desire at all for a romantic relationship for either of us.
We would get together now and then when neither of us was in a relationship. There was one year that we found ourselves in the same country and worked together a fair bit so we pretty well met up a couple of times a week, on the other hand I think once we went about 3 years without as we found that one or other of us would have a partner at any particular time.
I think it was this that made the threesomes a success as there was absolutely nothing to be jealous of. It was always with the one girlfriend of hers (as in girl who was a friend not ‘girlfriend’) and never got weird. I don’t think I am a particularly jealous person but I know there’s no way I could handle seeing my wife with someone else , even another woman.
to be honest its something I’ve never been interested in but would with other women. I have also had fantasies about having sex with a guys wife/gf with or without him watching.