Giving a Sex Toy as a Gift: Your Best Advice?

With Valentine's Day on the horizon, there's bound to be a lot of people out there looking to buy their partner a sex toy as a gift.

What is your best advice for someone looking to give a sex toy as a gift to their partner (either for Valentine's day or in general)?

I'd always say use the element of surprise! Be daring. It tends to pay off ;)

If you know they are into sex toys already:
Pay attention to what they like (colours, shapes, materials, use). If they own a lot of toys and not one of them is a realistic dildo, don't go getting them a porn star replica. If, however, you've noticed they have a fondness for whips, maybe get them a new spanking toy, like a flogger or cane. Listen out for any mentions of new things they'd like to try, or maybe test the waters by slipping questions in ("Steel toys look like so much fun, don't they?", etc).

If you don't know, or know they are new to toys:
Avoid anything too intimidating! For female sex toys, probably stick to small clitoral vibes unless you know they love g-spot stimulation (then get them something small and cheerfully coloured). With Bondage, Lovehoney's own Tease Me range would make lovely first timer gifts, I reckon.

Either way, don't cheap out! I'd rather receive no toy at all, than a cheap £5 vibe as a gift. Gifts should be special. Get something that you know has nice packaging, and if it doesn't, take it out of the nasty stuff and put it in a cute fabric gift bag or something. Gifts should also be fun. I know I don't receive practical gifts terribly well, so probably avoid getting a big bottle of lube or something (unless you're planning on getting a vinyl sheet too and writhing around on it together covered in the stuff ;) ).
It's also probably best to get something that you can use together (unless you're away a lot, or in a long distance relationship, then giving it with a note along the lines of: "think of me when you use this" would be nice).
Also, feel free to push boundaries a bit, but don't go too far. A spreader bar when they enjoy a bit of bondage: good. A full on sex machine when they've shown some mild interest in bullet vibes: bad.

If they're new to toys, don't terrify them! ;)

Dastity wrote:

If they're new to toys, don't terrify them! ;)


I'm now off to get a cloth so I can clean tea off my keyboard and monitor!!!

Tailor your gift to the individual. For example I like g-spot vibes and Lelo toys. I wholeheartedly agree that you should think about quality rather than quantity.

I got my dad a Medium Lelo Smart Wand for Christmas as hr has trouble with back pains and muscle spasms. He really appreciates it even though he joked about it being for women.

He is very tech-savvy so I knew he would be impressed by a Lelo Wand because it has lots of Smart features like responding to pressure. If I had a bit more money I would have bought him the Large Wand because it could reach his back more easily.

Always think about the individual(s) you're buying for. Your taste might not be to their and even if you *know* Lelo is the best they might not like it if the toy is designed for clitoral stimulation and they prefer a good 8 inch dildo.

I would say balance the price. You dont want to buy anything cheap and tacky but buying a luxury toy only to find out it is not something she likes is not good either and will make you both feel bad. I would say somewhere in the middle price range bracket.

Tailor the gift to suit your partner. Does she like clitoral stimulation or G-Spot stimulation? Maybe both? If it is a guy, does he like to stick to masturbation or does he love anal play. Does he/she like to try big toys or prefer slimline? Is he/she into BDSM or very straight laced? Do not buy the gift for yourself. Just because you want to see your partner take a 14 inch dildo up the bum for example, it doesnt mean they want that, so always think about what they would enjoy.

Does she have a toy collection already? If so you can now get a more in depth idea of what colours she likes, what styles, what materials she goes for. Check that she doesnt have any allergies to certain materials. If they do not have a toy collection I would suggest starting small and simple. Bullet vibes, small toys, etc. You dont want to put them off by handing them something pretty daunting for the first time.

Keep listening to your partner in the bedroom department. You will pick up information without them even realising they are giving it. Is your partner always hinting at you using fingers in their bum? Does your partner always cum through clit stimulation.... you will be able to gather information and tailor your choice of gift to suit their needs this way.

I would say for a gift, not to play it too dangerously. I think surprising your usually straight laced partner with a ball gag and pvc hot pants might open up new areas of play for some, but it could backfire big time! For a surprise gift I would play it reasonably safe, and if you are interested in more extreme I would probably drop some hints first and judge the reaction then decide if it is the way to go.

One last thing. This is NOT a good gift idea:


Don't have enough experience with this to give general advice, but thought it would be worth mentioning Lelo's Ella. It's a non-phallic dildo with two different ends. When I got mine, one of my first thoughts was how perfect it would be for a gift. Both packaging and the Ella itself are very nice.

Definitely have to promote this one - the clitoral hood shape gets my OH dripping in no time and cumming really well.

It is the shape combined with the ultra smooth feel that does it I am sure!

I would suggest broaching their toy likes and dislikes first, possibly looking at a store site while doing it as getting an unsuitable one may not go down well.

I always try to ask if there is anything my partner wants, just basic questions like dildo or vibrator, length, and so on then use a bit of imagination and get something bought. Its always fun to wrap it up but make sure she opens it on her own lol!

I think I need s toy! Lol!