Giving advice

Is giving advice something you succeed at? Does it just come natural? I must admit, it's one thing I fail miserably at. I'm much more of a listener and a keeper of secrets.

Just feel a bit crap as I can't use these forums how a lot of the regular posters do, by helping others and giving advice.

I don't think I'm great at giving advice, but I do it anyway, lol. I figure that so long as I'm sensitive and don't pretend to know it all, then just sharing my thoughts on the topic might be of some help somewhere and even if it's not then at least it's another voice of support.

Don't feel crap though, I have seen you offer support and give you good wishes to people and stuff, and sometimes that is just as well needed as advice.

xxx

I just never know what to say to people at all, it's easier over the internet as I'm not face to face with anyone, but 2 friends have recently fallen out with each other and I didn't have a clue what to say, especially as I didn't want to side with anyone.

It's something that has got me down for years, just feel nobody can appreciate me for anything.

Aw hun, I'm sure are appreciated for lots of things *big hugs*

I'm far less helpful in real life, lol, much better when I can sit an type my thoguhts out.

Sitting and listening can be a really valuable thing though, sometimes people just need to talk. I've been through loads this last year, and actually 9/10 times I didn't want advice, I just needed to verbalise my thoughts so they weren't stuck in my head. So friends had to just be patient while i rambled.

Also being able to keep secrets is a very good thing, knowing you can trust someone with something and they won't discuss elsewhere is a great thing to have x

Thanks for your input LadyS and hugs right back at ya. Feel a bit better already

I totally agree with LadyS, being a good listener and your friends being able to trust you to keep secrets is a huge thing in my book. You sound like you are a very good friend to have, please don't feel crap about anything, you come across on the forums as such a lovely person :D xx

Scorpius12 wrote:

I totally agree with LadyS, being a good listener and your friends being able to trust you to keep secrets is a huge thing in my book. You sound like you are a very good friend to have, please don't feel crap about anything, you come across on the forums as such a lovely person :D xx

Do I really sound a lovely person? I struggle to get my personality across, which is the best part of me, I'm such a funny, mad woman, with quite a dry sense of humour, but I just lurk on the bloomin' game threads

Need to make more of an effort I reckon!

Purring-Pussy wrote:

Scorpius12 wrote:

I totally agree with LadyS, being a good listener and your friends being able to trust you to keep secrets is a huge thing in my book. You sound like you are a very good friend to have, please don't feel crap about anything, you come across on the forums as such a lovely person :D xx

Do I really sound a lovely person? I struggle to get my personality across, which is the best part of me, I'm such a funny, mad woman, with quite a dry sense of humour, but I just lurk on the bloomin' game threads

Need to make more of an effort I reckon!

Don't you worry Sweetie, your personality does come across really well, and yes you do sound lovely :D xx

Purring-Pussy, you are on my 'to gift' list (yes i actually have such a thing) so you cant be doing that bad! You helped me out alot over th past week although i do have to second what everyone else said that sometimes you need just someone to listen more than you do help. :)

Listening allows people to work through problems and help themselves. Active listening is an important communication skill where you respond to cues and prompt people where needed.
Don't underestimate how helpful listening can be!

Purring-Pussy wrote:

Is giving advice something you succeed at? Does it just come natural? I must admit, it's one thing I fail miserably at. I'm much more of a listener and a keeper of secrets.

Just feel a bit crap as I can't use these forums how a lot of the regular posters do, by helping others and giving advice.

I feel exactly this, and when I feel I can contribute I struggle to find the correct way of explaining it by text.. but you know what... I feel being a good listener and being able to keep a secret work just as well too.. :)) you have always come across as a genuine and lovely person.. So I wouldn't stress lovely, I think u are doing just fine xxx

Purring-Pussy wrote:

Scorpius12 wrote:

I totally agree with LadyS, being a good listener and your friends being able to trust you to keep secrets is a huge thing in my book. You sound like you are a very good friend to have, please don't feel crap about anything, you come across on the forums as such a lovely person :D xx

Do I really sound a lovely person? I struggle to get my personality across, which is the best part of me, I'm such a funny, mad woman, with quite a dry sense of humour, but I just lurk on the bloomin' game threads

Need to make more of an effort I reckon!

Have to totally agree with the others. I've always loved reading your posts and find them very thoughtful and entertaining. I'm as delighted to have you as a friend on here as I'm certain I would be knowing you in real life! Actually, that goes for all of my forum friends, to be honest. This is the loveliest bunch of people I've ever met!

LittleSwitchBitch wrote:

Purring-Pussy wrote:

Is giving advice something you succeed at? Does it just come natural? I must admit, it's one thing I fail miserably at. I'm much more of a listener and a keeper of secrets.

Just feel a bit crap as I can't use these forums how a lot of the regular posters do, by helping others and giving advice.

I feel exactly this, and when I feel I can contribute I struggle to find the correct way of explaining it by text..
Same as I said to Purring Pussy, always enjoy your posts too, LSB!

MissBrownEyes92 wrote:

Purring-Pussy, you are on my 'to gift' list (yes i actually have such a thing) so you cant be doing that bad! You helped me out alot over th past week although i do have to second what everyone else said that sometimes you need just someone to listen more than you do help. :)

Mega blushes! No need to gift me, I was no where near as helpful as others, I merely agreed with everyone else as I got to your posts late. Mwaaah

Now I'm feeling overly embarrassed and attention seeking.

Thank you all for your input and kind words x

Purring-Pussy wrote:

Now I'm feeling overly embarrassed and attention seeking.

Thank you all for your input and kind words x

No hun.... Ur post didn't come across that way at all x

LittleSwitchBitch wrote:

Purring-Pussy wrote:

Now I'm feeling overly embarrassed and attention seeking.

Thank you all for your input and kind words x

No hun.... Ur post didn't come across that way at all x

+1 xx

Pp, I was in the middle of update be my typos lol you'll have to ignore the ones I missed lol bahaha me and texting = epic mess... Big hugs anyway hun xxx

thanks guys xx

PP I really enjoy your posts and your wit and humour comes across when we are sparring on a games thread.

I do know how you feel though about advice. I often spend ages writing a considered reply to a thread only to find that 5 people have posted in the meantime, all phrasing things much better than I have done. I often think " Why couldn't I put it as clearly as that". I guess we are all different and that it was makes life interesting.

Hope you feel a bit more positive x