I'm not sure if this is the right area of the forum to float this discussion, but if not I'm sure one of the mods will move it to the appropriate place. I've just written a review of a dildo I've recently purchased, and as a result got to think that perhaps I'd seek others' views on something?
When my wife and I make love I wear a strapon instead of using my own tackle - I'm into the whole chastity lifestyle thing and wear a cage the majority of the time. I'm happy for my wife to decide when and if it can be removed and for how long. Having said that, it's all elective of course (nobody can be "made" to wear one of these and there's no such thing as a belt/device that can't be removed) although I can say that it's an arrangement that works for us - and results in rocking sex-life.
My question is, are there any guys here who choose to use a prosthetic out of choice rather than use their own penis to penetrate their partners? I've read of men suffering from ED where wearing a prosthetic has been the answer, and of those whose wives/partners have preferred more length and/or girth than the good lord has provided opting to wear one that accommodates their partner's preference. But what about where it's a straightforward (please forgive the pun) choice?
There are certainly lots of positives to it, particularly for those of us who are no longer spring chickens, just interested in the views and thoughts of others who do.
Apologies in advance if anyone thinks this is a bit odd or out of place.
Flame, no apologies needed, and of course this is not out of place. This is the place to discuss pretty much anything sexual.
As I started having sex relatively late, and am now long distance, I have to admit the thought of not using my own manhood to penetrate my gf is something I haven't even considered. (I do use fingers, toys, etc as well, but I always have to have my own penetration too.)
Personally I'm gonna have to salute your resolve, and hope you find the answers you're after.
Alex loves using the strap-on on me, he usually has to wear some reasonably tight pants when he does so though so his cock doesn't get too much in the way. He's a slightly odd one in that he likes to think his cock is small, and enjoys me humiliating him for it (it's not particularly! actually pretty average). We have a range of different dildos, we tend to go for something quite short and girthy when we do this so I can really get the feeling of being filled up, but at the same time as it's not too long he can thrust as hard as he wants without damaging me! We will be writing a review fairly soon (probably in the next week) on our blog (http://acoupleofwankers.blogspot.com) about our favourite dildo for this type of play - so stay tuned! Alex enjoys stretching me with something like this, then penetrating me afterwards and fantasising that I've just been fucked with someone with massive cock.
We enjoy it.
The other thing that I fancy trying is that sportsheets menage a trois harness - for DP.... would be fun to have a go with!
I've actually done this. Not quite in the same way though...
My gf at the time wanted to use a strap on on me so I bought one and it had a vibrating part for her. I discovered I could remove the vibrating part and there was enough room for me to fit through essentially meaning I could have the dildo and my cock at the same time so I could double penetrate her.
Yep, we've done the DP thing too, using a Doc Johnson Ultra harness, which has an open crotch below the dildo so a guy can wear it too. One of our favourite games.
I also have a hollow strap-on with harness that she really likes. I don't get much sensation out of it, but the harness means I can wear it with a butt plug so at least I get some thrills. But it's a really horny game to play, just watching the effect it has on her - I guess similar to what a girl gets from wearing a strap-on.
Yes used a hollow strapon on my wife...didn't work very well though.
Was a rubbish harness and the strapon wasn't firm enough so would bend easily.
Was slightly too big to be comfortable for my wife too.
I don't last as long as I would like to normally so thought it would be a good idea to have a good long session, I wouldn't rule out trying a better quality one.
Not sure why I didn't latch onto this idea earlier as I find it really, really hot.
After a recent recurrence of my now, thankfully, rare ED I started to think again about solutions. As I have written before, one of the big problems with ED is the psychological 'positive feedback' that tends to make the whole thing worse. And of course not getting my wife off is the worst part of the thing. What one needs is a sure-fire way of getting your partner off even if the gear fails. I used to find that cock-rings did this for me right up to the occasion when the ring failed to get me hard - a crutch that lets you down is worse than none at all in this situation.
Given that we are into pegging and have a draw stuffed full of dildos and harnesses this solution seems obvious though, in my defence, I would point out that all the dildos are of the double-ended sort and thus not really usable for m-to-f use. So having dug into the bottom of our toy draw and found a long-forgotten two-hole harness that fits me perfectly all we needed was a suitable dildo for a complete back-up system.
Well, we have flight tested this idea and are both delighted with the outcome. We didn't wait for ED to strike (though I did have a drink during the evening which can certainly increase its probability).
The Tantus Cush is a very well designed and made toy. We actually picked it because it's close to my dimensions (when I'm in full working order) However, the two-density silicone construction really works to deliver a dildo that is at the same time both stiff and soft (though still somewhat harder than a real cock we reckon).
Getting a harness on a man is somewhat slower than for a woman due to the need to thread ones bits into the lower hole - getting two testicles through a small hole is like herding cats so there is room for improvement here. We notice that the Spareparts Deuce harness:- http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=26580
one of the few specifically designed for men, seems also to require a similar threading exercise. Anyway, on the plus side the constriction of the lower hole has something of the feel of wearing a cock ring so adding to the pleasurable sensations.
Getting used to having a dildo a couple of inches above ones normal equipment takes a moment to get used to. And penetrating my wife without the aid of sensation was not as easy as I thought - an interesting sidelight on the problems she has in pegging me - with the need for the same "down a bit, left a bit" kind of instructions.
The subsequent love-making was amazingly similar to normal. The lack of penetration for me was not as obvious as one might think partly because my cock was rubbing against her but mainly because my wife's responses to my movements were entirely normal and her orgasm every bit as delightful to me as normal. I was then able to discard the strapon and enter her myself to a wonderful climax made easier and better for the lack of any performance anxiety.
So here is the joke - an idea born as a contingency plan in case of ED has become something we will certainly be enjoying for its own sake quite a lot in the future. And if in future my gear wants to go on strike at inconvenient moments? So what!
Given that it's Movember and we are all talking about men's health issues including prostate cancer and the ED its treatment often causes it seems apposite to publicise that there are good ways to enjoy a very full sex life even with ED. The more men realise this the more they will be ready to seek testing and treatment.
There is an academic paper which goes by the horrendously off-putting title of "Restoration of Satisfying Sex for a Castrated Cancer Patient with Complete Impotence: A Case Study" by Warkentin, Gray, and Wassersug. However, despite the title, it's well worth searching to get a pdf of the article. Try https://www.google.co.uk/#q=impotent+strap-on and follow the link to the pdf. The story that unfolds is that, with the help of a lesbian friend, he was persuaded to give a strap-on a try and that the result is an extremely satisfying sex life for him and his partner.
The paper has much of interest including this:-
"Having a man in an fMRI machine wearing a dildo while his partner has the dildo in either her vagina or her mouth and simultaneously strokes his penis, sounds like the ultimate kinky science experiment. Yet there is a serious context for doing such a study."
I've done this in the past. I used to be insecure about my size and so I bought a hollow strap on to use on my OH.
I tried to get into the mindset of what it would be like to be the size of the device we were using but ultimately that would make my insecurities worse.
Over the years I've grown considerably more secure about myself and it was dumped a long time ago.
I think it's a brilliant idea, and not just because it's one of the few I've had on my own!
When I was first unable to have normal sex owing to an indwelling catheter (yes, I know you can have a longer one and fold it back and put a condom over it all, but Mrs P. didn't fancy that) I bought a strap on exactly for this purpose. Unfortunately the first one I bought was a little too long for the Mrs (quite awkward as we both like it with her on top). Next try was almost a dead ringer for my own dong when in full flight, but by that time my wife had gone off the idea, and then I had the catheter out and some sort of sex resumed. I say 'some sort' because by then I was having real performance anxiety and wasn't very fit, either. I managed to use the strap on once more and it was very good for both of us. Trouble is, she didn't know it was the strap on (shows how good a match it was) and subsequent sessons have not proceeded as I'd hoped.
To be honest, the strap on was really, really good for the Mrs, and because she loved it so much, so did I. The problem is she can't get her head round using one when I can get it up at all, so penetrative sex fairly often ends in me going soft and the vibrator, tongue or fingers finishing off the job.
Pushing 60 as I am, I'm more than happy to use the strap on if it means a better ride for the OH. I don't have an issue with us not both coming together, and I love getting my bits in some tight control briefs and then putting the harness on. It feels pretty good when we're having sex with it, even though it's not likely it'd make me come.
So yes, excellent for ED problems, and great if you both like that sort of thing. If only I can get Mrs P. to 'see' the sexy side of this we could be in for some amazing sex!
I would say that my experiments so far with hollow ones haven't been as good for me as just tucking my willy away and using a solid one.
I wish you luck in persuading your wife about how fantastic this can be for you. By way of some encouragement and, since I'm pushing 60 very much from the wrong side, I'm glad to report this remains very much part of our sex life and that, combined with regular pelvic floor exercises, it seems to have made my ED a thing of the past.
My wife and I had a long chat about this and agreed that, should my erection fail at any stage, we should break out the strapon and carry on rather than trying to get my erection back (which in the past frequently failed and caused the problem to get a hold again).
We also agreed that, like all emergency plans, it should be practised frequently - it's a lot more fun than a fire drill 8-)=. This generally means that the strapon gets used if I have had a drink during the evening (which has in the past been a trigger for the ED). The fascinating thing is that, drink or no drink, by the time I have had the pleasure of bringing my wife to orgasm with the strapon I have an erection of almost painful hardness which will last as long as I want it to.
The psychological benefit of this is amazing. In the past, if I even for a moment thought about the possibility that I might loose my erection it would happen. Now, if I think about it I'm also secretly thinking "well that would be even more fun for us both" which, with the perversity of the mind, means it doesn't happen.
We have been thinking about this, partly because with age comes less ability for M to keep an erection as long as he used to or have another one as quickly. Viagra is obviously one way forward. It's not a problem really, just something we have thought about a bit, and also is about fun and variety as well as the other things.. But some of the hollow dildos look really crappy in terms of the harness, etc. Among those who have used them, which would you recommend A x
We have never tried any of the hollow dildos but have used a two hole harness - the “Double Trouble” that Stormy Leather used to make - don't think they do it any more but the Deuce harness from SpareParts (available from LH) would be our choice if we had to replace it.
We bought a dual density solid silicone dildo to use with it and it works just fine. I find that the lack of physical stimulation allows me to really concentrate on the signs that my wife is getting what she needs. I'm not distracted by my own sensations and it is a most intensely erotic experience that needs to be experienced to be understood.
Wow, flameuser, I think that what you are doing is great! I would love to have my man penetrate me with the strappon every now and then, and why not? Alternate between strappon and real thing every couple of days.