@zombifiedguy I did that to my ex who told me it was pretty much rape even though he woke up enjoying himself 
I would love that to be fair!
@Selfcarer i hope he was joking.
Could try with this guy, i doubt he would complain
Morning and welcome 
Morning and welcome to the forum! @Selfcarer i mean, how can you not like a BJ? Some people 
I’m glad you seem happier now!
We have an interesting, although not universally applicable, solution to blowjob, and general orgasm anxiety. In our relationship (male chastity) she controls and limits my orgasms so there is no expectation that I will be allowed to come. This has removed any anxiety on her part regardless of whatever activity we are involved in. She no longer feels any pressure to make me come so she can relax and just enjoy the activity for it’s own sake.
Hi @Selfcarer you have come to the right place! Lots of ideas and support here! Welcome to the tribe! Enjoy! 
Welcome 
I’m so sorry that the first guy made you lose your confidence, of course you are allowed to know what you want, it’s your body!! Don’t feel pressured to hide who you are - you are who you are and like what you like, if they can’t take that then they’re not the partner for you.
You said you were fantasising about giving him head, what other things have you been thinking about doing with him? Think of a couple of things you want to try and then with each tell him “hey I was thinking of trying this, would that be okay?”, if he’s up for it I’m sure your confidence will grow each time you reintroduce something, with added bonus that you have experience and confidence hidden away so it’ll come rushing back in the act. Keep slowly bringing in things your like to do and you’ll be feeling back to your old self soon
Personally this is one I would always specifically check in advance at some point in the relationship, and would want someone to check with me- if someone is alseep they by definition can’t give consent. A partner may not be comfortable with it, or may need the relationship to be at a certain point before enjoying being woken up that way.
Hi @Selfcarer and welcome 
Hello and welocme @Selfcarer
Hi @Selfcarer
Welcome to lovehoney
Hello and welcome to the forum @Selfcarer!
I think that you have received some brilliant advice already, but I would also suggest that using the search bar (at the top right hand side of the page) to find similar past topics is always very useful too. Hope this helps x
Hi @Selfcarer 
Welcome to the forum!
Welcome aboard
Hey @Selfcarer, how are you today?
Feeling any better?