I’m Laura in a relationship with a great guy. We do some spanking here and there with wooden paddle and cane though nothing serious.
My fantasy is to be spanked hard with some tears When he does spank me, I like to bend over and bury my head on a pillow for comfort. When it comes to canes, I often jump out after every one or two caning but I want to keep my position and take it more. I don’t bruise easily, the marks disappear after an hour.
I’ve talked to him, I’m looking into restraints and he’s worried the restraints will make me jump out even more. He feels me controlling myself will be better. I don’t know if others have had the same experience before, could use some of your advice here. TIA
It seems like you want to take a next step in your impact play and add bondage.
If you a havent already, establish a safe word. Also, no, stop and ouch should not be the safe word. Green, yellow and red are good ways to let your partner know where things are.
We are relatively new to impact play and getting the balance right is hard. The more feedback you give the better it will be.
Start with hyper basic restraints - the tie for a robe is a great start because its almost impossible to tie in a way to prevent getting free.
From there you could move to more advanced bondage. We started with basic soft cuffs and moved to leather but our basic metal handcuffs remain the most used. Fast and effective!
@RKat has some excellent advice. I second it wholeheartedly!
You can also try “sprinkling” some impact throughout your day (a hard spank while just walking by your partner, watching a show, etc.), but only one so you’ve got some time to really feel it. It helps build anticipation and encourages wanting more than just a taste.
I agree with establishing a safe word that you can both use, he may need it himself at some point.
I find a cane quite painful and less enjoyable than his hand or his belt because of this. I can take much more when the cane is intermittent, maybe you would too.
I’m not sure what to visualise when you say you jump out, but I’m guessing you mean you come out of the bent over position. Is he spanking your bum? Is he alternating the impact site? Alternating how hard the impact is, rubbing you in between?
I think you should try restraints in a non impact play scenario and see how you feel with it. It makes me relax, same with a collar, its like instant relief so for me, the restraints would help me settle in.
Ask him to space out the caning. After the first one, you could say I’m ready for the next one sir. Slowly reduce the spacing over time.
Are you getting caned for fun or discipline? For fun, you can have rubbing, for discipline no rubbing
Like @JoCat said, he can alternate impact site from bum to just above the legs and use different toys. You could have first ten with cane, five more above the legs and continue.
When he does spank me, I like to bend over and bury my head on a pillow for comfort. When it comes to canes, I often jump out after every one or two caning but I want to keep my position and take it more. I don’t bruise easily, the marks disappear after an hour.
