Could be worse, you could've ordered some novelty chocolate after-dinner willies to your mum's address.
"Your willies have arrived in the mail, dear."
Thank goodness it wasn't something else.
BDSM-curious wrote:
snapper wrote:
I've told her it's a vibrator but she obviously wants to see it maybe she wants one of her own ?
or you could buy a very large dildo and when its delivered you might leave it open for her to accidently find
well she wont snoop again 
To be honest, this kind of idea is a good one. Buy some items you won't use but will shock her. She will pester, or snoop. tell her it is just to winded her up and you are going to send it back you just wanted to prove a point. Then any further time she snoops or questions about a genuine item you can claim the same thing.
Or if you put in an order, say buy 3 items. Tell her about 1, keep the others in hand as such, to tell her they were delivered in place of an items you want to keep secret.
I've done this before! I already told her it was a vibrator though so....maybe I prentend it's one of my other toys....the futher issue is, she pretty much knows what I have :/ so my lie may be obvious X
Red XIII wrote:
Could be worse, you could've ordered some novelty chocolate after-dinner willies to your mum's address.
"Your willies have arrived in the mail, dear."
Thank goodness it wasn't something else.
I once got choccie willies as a gift and my grandma came over so I offered her one :P She laughed so much and asked if there were anymore coz they were 'delicious' haha! X
Kinky&Curvy wrote:
Red XIII wrote:
Could be worse, you could've ordered some novelty chocolate after-dinner willies to your mum's address.
"Your willies have arrived in the mail, dear."
Thank goodness it wasn't something else.
I once got choccie willies as a gift and my grandma came over so I offered her one :P She laughed so much and asked if there were anymore coz they were 'delicious' haha! X
Bless grandma, got to love them! I can imagine mine doing that too!
I couldn't have ordered any of my stuff if I still lived with my parents. When my parents visit, I just hide everything on the top floor in cupboards. Since I had to literally stop my mum from trying to look through the cupboards I've put a lock on the door to the top floor and said that it was there for when I had a lodger. My parents still have absolutely zero respect for my privacy as they always have. I keep them away. Wouldn't like to know what they'd think if they found my love doll.
About 10 years ago a small independent adult store opened in my local area. Lacking the courage to visit alone I decided the best thing to do was to go with my then 2 year old son in his buggy.
Most of the visit was spent trying to stop the little kleptomaniac from stuffing dildos in his pushchair so eventually I gave up any attempt at carefully browsing and selecting and instead picked up the biggest jumbo assortment box I could find.
The box was massive and unbelievably tacky. Semi clad pictures of women adorned the box, and the contents were the worst kind of garish product from the far east. In fact the box was so big the store didn't have a large enough carrier bag so instead they clumsily double bagged it. I hung it on the back of the buggy and headed off to Saintsbury's for some shopping.
I live in a town in London with a population of 25,000, I'm not a gambling man but I would have placed the odds of me bumping into my Mum and her mates at a supermarket as being pretty low.
Pretty low but not impossible.
Cos there she was and after introducing my grandson to her friends she enquired what I had been shopping for. Not much I replied nonchalantly, que the handle breaks on the carrier bag and the box plops at her feet
For a brief moment I was tempted to pass it off as some new range of toys for kids, but instead I just stuffed it under the buggy and had a conversation about having Ravioli for lunch.
macspants wrote:
About 10 years ago a small independent adult store opened in my local area. Lacking the courage to visit alone I decided the best thing to do was to go with my then 2 year old son in his buggy.
Most of the visit was spent trying to stop the little kleptomaniac from stuffing dildos in his pushchair so eventually I gave up any attempt at carefully browsing and selecting and instead picked up the biggest jumbo assortment box I could find.
The box was massive and unbelievably tacky. Semi clad pictures of women adorned the box, and the contents were the worst kind of garish product from the far east. In fact the box was so big the store didn't have a large enough carrier bag so instead they clumsily double bagged it. I hung it on the back of the buggy and headed off to Saintsbury's for some shopping.
I live in a town in London with a population of 25,000, I'm not a gambling man but I would have placed the odds of me bumping into my Mum and her mates at a supermarket as being pretty low.
Pretty low but not impossible.
Cos there she was and after introducing my grandson to her friends she enquired what I had been shopping for. Not much I replied nonchalantly, que the handle breaks on the carrier bag and the box plops at her feet
For a brief moment I was tempted to pass it off as some new range of toys for kids, but instead I just stuffed it under the buggy and had a conversation about having Ravioli for lunch.
hahaha love it!
😅macspants stories never fail!
I always love reading macspants posts! Brilliant.
Same! There great fun.innocent-fun wrote:
I always love reading macspants posts! Brilliant.
From the 'deep & meaningful' to 'light-hearted' and his frequent quotes (though I did miss one this time sadly). Macspants - safe to say you are appreciated on these forums.Lollipop ;) wrote:
Same! There great fun.innocent-fun wrote:
I always love reading macspants posts! Brilliant.
Lollipop ;) wrote:
Same! There great fun.innocent-fun wrote:
I always love reading macspants posts! Brilliant.
Yeah, another great one. (I would consider the odds are actually not that low, my hometown has the population of about 50,000, loads of shops, many supermarkets, a few shopping centres, and yet I always kept on bumping into my late Gran, she was very nearly omnipresent ;-)
BDSM-curious wrote:
snapper wrote:
I've told her it's a vibrator but she obviously wants to see it maybe she wants one of her own ?
or you could buy a very large dildo and when its delivered you might leave it open for her to accidently find
well she wont snoop again 
To be honest, this kind of idea is a good one. Buy some items you won't use but will shock her. She will pester, or snoop. tell her it is just to winded her up and you are going to send it back you just wanted to prove a point. Then any further time she snoops or questions about a genuine item you can claim the same thing.
Or if you put in an order, say buy 3 items. Tell her about 1, keep the others in hand as such, to tell her they were delivered in place of an items you want to keep secret.
I was going to say this :)
To be honest I'm astounded at the the number of people whos parents have zero respect for their privacy !
Exactly wildflower! My mum walks in my bedroom without knocking so OH and I can't ever have sex at my house, and she has caught me masturbating because of this. She also badgers me to tell her what's in my parcels and I just say I can't remember what I ordered!
She's just one of those people who has to know everything about everyone and doesn't seem to get that adults need privacy!
wildflower wrote:
To be honest I'm astounded at the the number of people whos parents have zero respect for their privacy
+1
Maybe you could consider getting things delivered to the post office for you to pick up?
I get into a similar situation sometimes- working at Lovehoney and still living at home I feel like my parents should expect me to have some sex toys to be fair haha so I don't *hide* them. If she wanted to open the box she could and I would be fine for her to do so.. her moral of the lesson would be don't go snooping to see my goodies!
I think you need to talk and explain the concept of boundaries to her. Don't feel the need to explain, just say it's private and she has no right to demand an explanation about things that are none of her business. If she already knows that you buy sex toys, you could maybe say to her that if she's curious, come on to Lovehoney and browse instead of being nosy about what you buy.
I had something delivered to my dad's house once and the bloody postie said it was for him (even though my name was clearly on the box) so he opened it without checking. I only realised when he told me that my perfume had arrived and apologised for accidentally opening it and I was thinking WTH? I haven't ordered perfume... then opened it and realised it was a luxury sex toy. So grateful to that brand for having such discreet packaging!
Lovehoney - Paige wrote:
Maybe you could consider getting things delivered to the post office for you to pick up?
I get into a similar situation sometimes- working at Lovehoney and still living at home I feel like my parents should expect me to have some sex toys to be fair haha so I don't *hide* them. If she wanted to open the box she could and I would be fine for her to do so.. her moral of the lesson would be don't go snooping to see my goodies!
I hope you don't mind me asking (please don't feel obliged to answer) but how did your parents react to you getting a job at Lovehoney? Do they ask about what you do or is it a sort of don't ask don't tell situation?
I remember watching More Sex Please We're British and there was a woman measuring the anal depth of a sex doll and I wondered what she'd say if someone asked her 'what did you do at work today?"
VirginAngel wrote:
...when my snake escaped and he was looking for it (helping since im disabled) he had to look in my toy drawer, so he's seen everything...
OMG this totally cracked me up! I thought you were using euphemisms for a second and I was like SAY WHAAT??