Should I be scared of trying toys that go into the bottom ! Any recommendations would be good!
You should only do what you are comfortable with, if you are scared then don't go there.
Anal toys are great and can be very pleasurable, but they won't be if you are not comfortable with using them !!
Communication is the key - you must speak to your BF about it and do this together without any pressure ither way.
Good luck and have fun !!
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Completely agree with Gibson, only do what you are comfortable with and communication is key throughout
Do you want to try anal play for your pleasure, or is it simply for his?
Firstly, anal play carries with it a bit of a stigma, that its dirty, painful and for the pleasure of the giver not the receiver. All of these are true and all of these are false -
Dirty, it can be, you poop from there and there are bacteria in your anus.
However, a bowel movement well before anal play (a few hours) resolves 99% of issues 99% of the time. If you are concerned about cleanliness, have a shower and wash the area with soap (even putting a bit of soap just inside the opening to really clean it out) and this will be more than adequate for anal.
You can douche also if you wish, a bit of cool or mildly luke warm water squirted into the anus using a douche, evacuate the contents over the toilet and repeat until all that comes out is clear water. Don't do this immediately before anal play, again, an hour or 2 beforehand and your good to go.
Ultimately though, even with all the prep, there may be an occasion where "poop happens", and if so, you and your partner just have to be adult about it. You can play with matches 100s of times and be fine, but equally don't be surprised if every now and then you get a little burn.
Will it hurt?
Much fear of anal pain comes from either bad experiences of yourself or someone else that has told you "it hurts" or from watching porn and seeing all the "painal" videos.
It can hurt if done poorly. As with cleanliness, its all about the prep. If you are new to anal play, sticking a honking big object up there is going to hurt. Start small, think finger, beginner but plug (around 3.5-4 inch girth) or similar. Once you are comfortable with that you can then think about other things, bigger plugs, anal dildos, beads and even a penis if you so desire.
Lube, do not underestimate the importance of lube. You will need lube on the object being inserted as well as lube on (and in) the anus itself. If you just put lube on the object, your anus will squeeze around the object and act like a squeegee, removing much of the lube on the object itself, only a small amount of the lube will actually remain, this reduces a bit with reapplication of lube, but getting some up and in before a toy helps coat the entire anal canal making for a better experience.
lube, this is worth repeating, if you think you have too much, put on some more.
Its for the pleasure of the giver only
Ok, this probably stems from the "I only do it to please my partner" brigade, you know the type, lie on your back and think of England attitudes towards sex. Anal can be pleasureable for both giver and receiver. Admittedly males do have a bit of an advantage in the receiver stakes, we have prostate glands which are accessed via the anus, females dont. But, thats not to say females don't (or can't) get pleasure from anal, there are many who comment how they can orgasm through anal. Biology comes into play with the lining between the anus and the vaginal canal being thin, anal penetration at the right angles can still hit your g spot and create pleasure. Equally, the anus has lots of nerve endings.
Its unlikely that it will make your world spin first time up to bat, it might even be a while down the track. Your mind has to let go of the strange sense of something entering your backside as opposed to something going out. It also has to let go of any preconceived notions about the sensation and just accept it as a pleasure spot.
As per Gibson5 and lubylou13, communication is key. If you are apprehensive, talk about it, do you trust him that if you need to stop or slow down, he will abide your request. Make sure you set the pace. Its very easy to get carried away in the moment, but your pleasure should be your priority.
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Gibson5 wrote:
You should only do what you are comfortable with, if you are scared then don't go there.
Anal toys are great and can be very pleasurable, but they won't be if you are not comfortable with using them !!
Communication is the key - you must speak to your BF about it and do this together without any pressure ither way.
Good luck and have fun !!
100%. Don't do anything out of pressure, if you're not comfortable, you're not comfortable, and you likely won't enjoy it.
How would your boyfriend feel about using anal toys on himself? I ask because this is how I introduced anal toys into our sexual activities. Like you my wife had the usual and perfectly understandable concerns about anal play but I was keen to try them myself so I began to use vibrating butt plugs and prostate massagers. Once she saw that it was a) not messy b) not painful c) very enjoyable she decided (with no pressure from me) to try them herself. She is now a regular user of anal toys and also enjoys full anal sex.