Hi, welcome to the forum 
It took me quite a few goes to get anything from masturbation too, so your not alone. What works for each of us is very personal, so it can take a while to figure out whats right for you, both manual stimulation and toy wise.
Some things that really helped me is picking the right moment, some time when your not going to be disturbed so you can really relax. (Having a bath or shower before hand can also help to relax you).
Think sexy thoughts, whatever fantasy or memory turns you on.
Take your time and Go slow, take deep slow breaths. Don’t worry about climaxing, just enjoy enjoy the sensations.
Do whatever feels good but start slow, take your time, go for stroking your skin and places like nipples, stomach, neck, thighs etc First before moving between your legs.
Experiment, see what feels good. Theres alot of nerves down there and we’re all different. (There are lots of guides online for different techniques if you get stuck too)
Dont be put off if you don’t climax first time. It can take a while to figure out what works for you.
Toy wise, id recommend a good quality rechargeable vibe of some sort (rechargable or mains are more powerful than battery powered) . Bullets are often a good place to start (This is a nice less expensive option thats good, not buzzy and strong. But for something rumbly id recommend either the desire or mantric bullets, theyr both fab) but theres lots of other options too.
Both the mantric and desire ranges are excellent rumbly vibes with good strength (do read the reviews though, as it can vary).
Many toys will give you clit stimulation in combination with being insertable. But toys like rabbits are, unsurprisingly, a bit prone fit issues as everyones anatomy is different, and often combining a clit toy with something insertable is more flexible (not least as youll find you want the clit stim static and the insertable one moving).
This place is good for toy recommendations, so if you have a look through the shop and work out what kind of toy looks good to you, asking here will the get you lots of more specific recommendations
Any idea of how much you wanted to spend?